This Time Around
by Asarai Hinata
Summary: DISCONTINUED The only thing that was real to her now was the warm, firm body that held her close, anchoring her and keeping her from drifting away into the ocean of sorrow and darkness...
1. Prologue: Morning has Broken

**Disclaimer:** AU. Cardcaptor Sakura and all its glory rightfully belong to CLAMP.  Standard copyright applies.  

**This Time Around** Prologue: Morning has Broken 

Tomoyo awoke with an aching head, not knowing where on earth the headache had come from.  It took her a moment to get her bearings straight and when she did, she felt like a big, iron ram had knocked the wind out of her.  She was not at home, and to make matters worst, she did not know where she was. Period.  Her eyes hurt like the very devil himself, her mouth was dry and her body ached.  

Her very naked body she realized.  

Her lilac shaded eyes grew as wide as two moons and slowly she lifted the blanket covering here and looked down to her chest and lower.  Her head shot up again and she quickly clutched the blanket to her chest, her eyes impossibly bigger than before.  There was not a stitch of clothing was on her.  No underwear no nothing.  She placed a hand on the hair on her head and realized how very tangled it was.  Her mouth formed into a silent "Oh…" when she heard a slight movement next to her.  Tomoyo cringed and squeezed her eyes shut.  

"Oh Dear God, please let this be some excruciatingly sweet nightmare that I can wake up from. Please, please, please." 

She pinched her arm until it turned bright, bright red, and she only let go until she was sure she would draw blood if she did not release her flesh.  Summoning whatever scrap of courage was left within her she turned her head to where the movement was made.  She felt her jaw hit the mattress.  Next to her, covered by a thin blanket from the waste down could have been the Greek beauty, Adonis himself.  His hair, as dark as Chinese ink, was ruffled and messed from the previous night's…_activities_. His face was rugged, solid, with high angled cheeks and the night's growth shadowing his jaw.  His nose was straight and just at the right height.  His eyelashes, which could easily be the envy of any woman, fanned his cheeks as he slept.  His hands, one by his ear and the other across his chest, were strong and large, yet possessing an unknown grace.  His full lips were pulled into a content half smile…_egad_ she did not even want to think about those lips and her eyes automatically began to wander elsewhere.  

Big mistake.

Her cheeks suddenly began to flame with warmth.  She found herself gawking at his chest. His rock hard chest and well chiselled abdomen.  Her gaze continued to wander down the form and she saw his muscular legs, moulded by the blanket. The great Michelangelo could have sculpted his perfect form himself if the sleeping, almost flawless and extremely male form next to her wasn't human and was made of marble.  At that moment, Tomoyo wished that she could turn into marble, or better yet, a pillar of salt so that the wind that came through the window could blow her away silently and far from here. Far, _far_ away from here.  She turned away quickly when she found that her gaze was beginning to wander from his feet to his knees up his thigh...  A voice of warning suddenly intruded into her cloudy mind telling her that she was not, under any circumstance suppose to be here this early, undressed and next to a buck naked sleeping man.

_What on God's good earth are you doing **watching **him sleep?? Get the hell out of here!!_

At this point Tomoyo had gone from rosy to pale to bright red, and her joints functioned like contraptions that had not been oiled in centuries.  Slowly, she got out of bed and spotted her coat and clothes on a chair.  

Funny, they were neatly folded. Odd.

She grabbed them, not even pausing to put her pants on, just the jacket that reached to her knees.  The quietly turned the door knob and thought her heart was going to burst when she heard the door squeak rather loudly amounting to another movement coming from the bed.  Tomoyo closed her eyes and began to pray even though she knew that whatever foolishness she had gotten herself into, it was something that the heavens could not save her from.  She knew, she would never live this down. _Ever._ She held her breath a little while longer, waiting to see if sleeping beauty would make another move. When she heard nothing, she opened the door a bit wider and almost wept with joy when it creaked no more.  She was inches away from freedom.  Despite her hurry, she closed the door behind her, not taking a glance back.  She ran like a madwoman for the door, grabbing her shoes on the way out, not even thinking to put them on.  Again, she quietly shut the door.  Looking around the hallway, she saw no one save the black cat that slept on the windowsill at the end of the hallway.  She opened the grand door in the entrance hall and took a cautious look back and exited as quietly as possible.  The black cat on the windowsill opened it's turquoise eyes as the main door closed silently.  He looked out the window, meowed and went back to sleep, not a care in the world.

 The sun hit her as she stepped outside.  It was warm and welcoming, but she did not notice that.  Tomoyo paused a moment to put on her shoes and she began to speed walk the next seven blocks until she reached the building which had the room where she _should _woken up, _fully _clothed in her pyjamas and _alone._ She was tired from the long walk, but she did not care.  Fumbling with her keys, she opened the main door and rejecting the stairs this time, for her tired legs protested immensely, decided to take the elevator to her apartment.  Opening the door to her home, she was welcomed with more sunlight streaming through her patio door and her window, the white theme that dominated her home made it all the brighter.  Tomoyo, however, did not notice the cheeriness of her place, instead she closed the door behind her, absently locking it and sliding down against it, her head leaning back against it, and her legs sprawled about before her.  Then it all sank in and Tomoyo wanted to fall off of the face of the earth right there and then.  She drew up one knee to her chest and rested her elbow there while her hand covered her eyes. 

            "You have _so _done it now." She silently berated herself.  "Lord," she continued, "feel free to condemn me as you please. I have done the stupidest, dumbest, most idiotic thing in the world."  Then, out loud, in a quiet voice she said to herself. 

_"I slept with Eriol Hiiragizawa." _  

And saying the words out loud, in the open, only made it all the more real to her.  She groaned out loud and slid to the floor on her side.  In the fetus position she stayed wishing that some typhoon would hit, that it would hail fire, that an earthquake would start.  Tomoyo Daidouji lost her pride, her dignity and her _virginity_ in one night.  In time, the first two could be reclaimed, the last, however was lost forever. Realizing this, Tomoyo wished again that the floor would open up and swallow her whole.  Her headache did not cease and she felt extremely exhausted, so she did the only thing she could do.  She remained there on the floor and fell asleep, hoping that she would wake up from this heavily twisted, extremely warped dream and that everything would be back to normal once she woke up.  

***tsuzuku**

A/N: oh my dear goodness, I'm in so dire need of sleep, but noooo the pixies in my head keep giving me ideas, and now look what else has come up!! Sleep beckons! 


	2. First Month

**Disclaimer**: All dues belong to CLAMP, these are their characters, which have come from CCS, which also belongs to them, and both series and characters are the products of their twisted, yet brilliant minds. 

**First Month**

Tomoyo woke up on her hard wooden floor four hours later. It was already 2 o'clock in the afternoon and she was on the floor with nothing on but her jacket. Slowly she got up groaning. She trudged towards her bed and collapsed the rest of the day there, not wanting to face the world not wanting to face her own self. 

*****

He stood outside the window of his room and stared into the midday sun. The sky was cerulean blue and he could not find it in himself to appreciate the day. He had woken up alone, which is something that he usually does, but this morning, he knew he shouldn't have. What had happened that night? Shrugging, he went to change out of his pyjamas and decided to spend the rest of the day on his patio, not thinking, not wondering, not doing anything. 

What have I done? He wondered.  Perhaps it was better not to think about it until the time came, perhaps nothing would come to it at all, as it often did.  Not with his other excursions anyway. The women that he dealt with knew that he was not looking for a long-term relationship. He was simply passing the time, to ward off the loneliness that has plagued him for so long. The women in his relationships weren't looking for "Love me forever" either, so they were short and sweet flings with no hard feelings on either side. Or so he thought, since he never got any hate mail, threats or warrants from police.  So why was it that he was feeling something the resembled like an anchor dropping to the pits of his stomach? What was this feeling? _Regret_. Why?  Something wasn't right, something about that night was out of place, like it wasn't suppose to happen, but it did anyway.  She was exhausted, frustrated and almost on the verge of tears.  He was feeling somewhere along the lines of sympathy, the urge to comfort, the urge to protect.  Odd. It was never like that.  His peers often criticized him for being a cold bastard.  Okay so he was insensitive, but at least he _knew _that right?   

The wave of regret inside him refused to abate, so there it stayed.  It was a new feeling, this regret.  Now we wanted to pick it to pieces to figure out why.  They'd known each other since they were children.  Nothing came of it except for a casual friendship.  Eriol was almost tempted to use the word _comfortable_. Perhaps it was.  Sometimes she would come to his place and visit; sometimes it would be him who would visit.  They laughed and they joked, the talked about almost anything.  Perhaps "comfortable" was the right word to use. But how on earth did it get to this point? If there was anything that he was sure of, it was that this friendship was never going to be same again. Not after what happened that night.  Perhaps it was better if he forgot about it all.  Now if only he could forget how to breathe as well.

****

Tomoyo woke up to the sound of the doorbell.  Groaning she rolled off her bed and just as she trudged to her bed hours later, she trudged towards the door, opening it to a smiling, cheerful Sakura Kinomoto, who's smile fell the moment she saw Tomoyo.

"Oh my… Tomoyo, you look awful! What happened? Are you sick?"  Her cousin, her best friend, was always cheerful, and a ray of sunshine even through the darkest days of Tomoyo's life.  She couldn't help but smile wryly.

"Oh I'm fine Sakura, but mentally, I feel like bells are going off on my head. Loud ones, you know like those on top of Notre Dame? Yeah those."  She groaned and trudged back to bed with Sakura on her heels.  

"What happened Tomoyo? Tell me."

"Honestly? I woke up this morning and had this awful feeling in my gut.  I wanted to throw up really."

"Wow, is it the time of the month?"

"Geeze girl, what happened to your ever present 'guile'?"

"This is you Tomoyo, I don't need 'guile' or discreetness, well not with you anyways." She shrugged, looking down at Tomoyo who closed her eyes, but she knew she was still awake.   "Can you make it to work today or do you want me to cover for you?"

"Pretty please Sakura?"

"You don't have to say another word, you just sit here and rest, while I cover for you.  But I will call your mother first."

Tomoyo shoot up like a bullet and Sakura just jumped back and blinked. 

"Aiyah….you can hurt yourself like that Tomoyo."

"Oh no no _no_, Sakura.  Please, make this vow as my best friend, the closest thing I have to a sister. You will not call my mother.  She will try to pick apart this dark cloud over me until she makes it completely full blown and she convinces herself that I have Hepatitis C or something."

Sakura gave her a bright smile, one, which Tomoyo knew could make a certain wolf do anything Sakura asked.  

"Sakura….."

"Yes yes, Tomoyo, considered it a promise; signed, sealed and delivered."  Tomoyo just blinked not really comprehending and slowly eased herself back down on her pillow.  "You just rest there." Bending over she gave her friend a kiss on the head. "Because honestly? You really look horrible."  

Tomoyo smiled sleepily.  "Thanks."

Sakura then quietly walked out and locked the door. 

Tomoyo then let sleep take her, far, far away from the cruel piece of reality, which she decided she would hide under a rug until the day she breathed her last.

******

It has been a month since that earth shattering morning when Tomoyo woke up to find herself naked, and needless to say sore, in Eriol Hiiragizawa's bed.  She also spent the last month avoiding him like a plague.  If he wanted to confront her then, damn him, he would have to make more of an effort now wouldn't he?  Sakura, true to her word, kept Tomoyo's secret from her mother, though it was really Tomoyo who was having a hard time trying not to spill it all to Sonomi Daidouji.  She was certain her mother could see right through her, but if she suspected anything, she certainly did not make it known.  Every once and a while, Sakura would be curious as to what happened that day and would ask Tomoyo.  Even though Tomoyo was quick on her feet and could lie up a novel, she decided that omission would be the best way to go.  "I'm not too sure Sakura, I wasn't all myself that day." She would tell her.  As to whether Sakura believed Tomoyo was a whole different story.  

Now, in August, one month later, Tomoyo was on her knees before the toilet, vomiting her heart out.   'Augh, I want to _die_' she thought before another round of throwing up began.  And this activity was repeated the following day and the day after that.  It was on the fourth day that Sakura and Syaoran found Tomoyo on her bathroom floor infront of the toilet, gagging.

"What the hell?" Syaoran exclaimed.

"Oh my God! Tomoyo!"  Sakura ran to help Tomoyo as the sick lady tried to get her self up.  Sakura helped Tomoyo wash up, as Syaoran stood watching them with a worried eye.

"I need to sit down." She whispered, her voice raw. With Sakura on one side and Syaoran on the other, they made it swiftly, though not gracefully, to the sofa where Tomoyo slumped down and held her head between her knees, fighting the nausea that has been her companion for almost a week now. It was on the third day when she realized the inevitable truth because it was then that she realized that her monthly flow was late.  And it was _never_ late.  Putting that together with the fact that she was spending a good chunk of her mornings paying alms to the ceramic god, she knew her guess was not mistaken.  Though she prayed to God she was, but now she was only but too sure, a visit to an obstetrician backed it up 100%. She slowly lifted her head, Sakura was sitting next to her, stroking her back gently and Syaoran was standing in what Tomoyo has dubbed his "protective" stance.  It was an intimidating and stubborn stance often used when Sakura was with him in public.  Pity the fool who tried to flirt with the Cherry Blossom. 

"Syaoran, you sit down too." She tried to smile but could only manage a half smile.  He did so on the grand solo leather seat facing them. Tomoyo gulped; she couldn't hide this.  It would become obvious later on anyway so there was no use. She lifted her head and looked at both of them.

"I'm pregnant." 

"_What?!"_ Syaoran and Sakura exclaimed in unison.  Tomoyo found the strength to stand up and walk towards the balcony door.  Placing a hand on the glass, she had this swift urge to just jump, but it was a fleeting moment and it never will come up again.  She unconsciously placed a hand on her flat belly.  She wasn't alone now and she wasn't going to be selfish.  Tomoyo knew she was a lot of things, but she was not a goddamn coward.

"How…" Syaoran started, but stopped.

"Don't sound so dense Syaoran, you know full and well how.  You have a master's in biology for Pete's sake." Tomoyo gave him a wry smile as she turned around.

"It's not that, it's just that…." He was at a lost for words again, knowing that if he continued he'd just make an utter fool of himself.  Tomoyo smiled at the man who was the closest thing that she had for a brother as he turned a light shade of pink.  She knew what he meant, her virtue was one thing that she prided herself in, he thought her strong enough to wait for the right one and perhaps the one she would spend the rest of her life with.  She was sorry to disappoint both him and her self. 

"Who's the father Tomoyo?" Count on Sakura to get to the point. Tomoyo looked at Sakura, found only comfort in her eyes and went to sit down next to her.  "It's okay Tomoyo, sorry I asked, you don't have to tell us." Not right now, Sakura thought. But she knew that she couldn't stand not knowing who did this to Tomoyo and make sure he was going to be responsible for his actions.  And unless she was mistaken, and she knew there wasn't much of a chance that she was when it came to her Wolf, she knew Syaoran hunt him down and force him to take responsibility.  Tomoyo looked at both of them and knew that she would tell them the truth even if she knew her life depended on her telling a lie.  _I'm no coward._

"Sakura, Syaoran."  She broke off to catch some extra oxygen.  "It's Eriol Hiiragizawa."  

Sakura's jaw dropped, closed and then dropped again until she resembled a fish out of water. It was Syaoran who set off like a cannon.

"That _bastard!_ That's it, I'm going over there and I am going to kick his British ass!"  Sakura knew Tomoyo well enough not to doubt her. 

"Wolf, dear, calm down." It was only Sakura who called him that, and it was only Sakura's soothing voice that, for most of the time, could calm him down.  Today would just take more of an effort for Syaoran just kept on ranting.

"I'm going to hunt him down and drag his no good carcass to kingdom come."

"No you won't." Sakura's voice was calm.

"The hell I won't! He deserves no less, I just hope Hades doesn't spit him out when I throw him in!" 

"Wolf, you obtuse man, be quiet." Tomoyo rarely heard that tone of voice from Sakura.  Thankfully Sakura only used it on her husband.  Syaoran stopped, sent Sakura an intimidating look and started to pace, it was that or use all the fancy colourful words in his vocabulary, but he knew he'd only get daggers from his lady wife if he did.

Tomoyo was rather enjoying this little exchange between husband and wife.  It was always entertaining, yet she never questioned their affection towards each other.  That went without saying.  Tomoyo found herself smiling. 

"Tomoyo?"  Sakura suddenly turned to her with a questioning tone.  "You weren't dating him behind our backs were you?"

_"I think not!"_ Tomoyo exclaimed. 

"Sorry just had to make sure." Sakura smiled and patted Tomoyo's hand.  The clock struck 11 on the wall.  "Oh dear, we left Koen alone with Papa longer than we anticipated."  She looked up at her husband who was still pacing. Sakura sighed and fought back the urge to smile and shake her head. "We were going to take him over to the sea wall since it's a beautiful day and we wondered if his godmother would like to come along." She looked at Tomoyo and smiled

"And what a predicament you found me in this morning." Tomoyo sighed.  Atleast it was only in the mornings.  If it occurred throughout the entire day, Tomoyo was sure she would be tempted stay in bed next to a bowl the entire day for the next few months.  She paled at the thought. "Of course I'll come along, I've missed him terribly."  Tomoyo stopped and smiled. "Syaoran, please sit down before you wear out my floor.  Please, I need you two to do something for me.  More like some_things_ really. First off, do not tell a _soul_ about this.  I still have to tell my mother."  She saw Syaoran cringe slightly and very well couldn't blame him. "Secondly, neither of you will not confront Eriol about this, it is my job.  Now I want your word."  Syaoran looked like he wasn't going to budge. "You." She directed her gaze towards her short-tempered friend "will not do anything such as throwing him into the pits of hell.  As tempting as that thought is, he is the father of my child."  Neither of them said anything for a moment. "Please promise me, you guys are like family to me, _are _family to me, I need your support on this."

Tomoyo stood up, her back straight her chin out.  The two still sitting saw no fear only saw determination, stubbornness and the natural strength they both knew she possessed. 

"I give you my word." 

"I promise."

Tomoyo smiled.  "Good, now lets pick up my godson and take a walk."

She'd think about dealing with her mother another time.

***tsuzuku**

A/N: Sorry it took awhile to update. Ach, I'll stop apologizing, it's getting tedious for you guys! Hahaha, but please forgive me nonetheless.  And for those who are curious "Koen" from the German language, in my opinion pronounced "Koh-en" means "brave and gallant" and "Hades" is the Greek god of the underworld, but also known as Hell.


	3. Second Month

**Disclaimer**:  AU. Cardcaptor Sakura and all its character belong to the brilliant ladies from CLAMP. I don't know where on earth they come up with these things but boy am I thankful. 

Second Month 

'It isn't so bad after awhile' Tomoyo thought as she walked along the sea wall.  It had been a couple of week since she was last here with Syaoran, Sakura and Koen, her godson.  She had been working like a madwoman the last two weeks, making sure that the flower shop was getting their orders in, that they were the _right_ orders, keeping track of inventory and just making sure pandemonium doesn't ensue during the busiest season in the floral calendar.  As it was, _Petals, etc._ was her little baby, she placed a hand on her belly and smiled at the irony of it and continued walking.  It was all hers, an independent business that she created from the ground up three years ago and she would fight to see it succeed.  And as a matter of fact, it was doing better than she expected.  She trusted her entire staff, actually it was only five of them and they all went to elementary school together. There was Sakura, Naoko Yanagisawa, still studious, still dreaming of dragons, Chiharu Mihara always opinionated and still trying to keep Takashi Yamazaki inline, and Rika Sasaki, the domestic goddess who blessed them with her gift in the flower shop with her creative arrangements and never-ending patience.  To her it was natural but the other girls had to learn.  It came a bit easier to Tomoyo than it did for Sakura, Naoko and Chiharu since she was an artist to the core, but eventually, they learnt, and now here they were, striving and growing in the business world where you either succeed or get stepped on.  They were succeeding, and she had nothing against working herself to exhaustion so that it stayed that way. Her friends and her have worked too hard for it all. And they still were working to see it succeed, bless their souls.  Sakura lectured her endlessly when she found Tomoyo still at the shop pouring over the books, making sure their income exceeded their expenses, and during the first year, she practically lived at the flower shop.  Tomoyo almost drove Sakura mad.  She knew it was only because Sakura cared.  She was dubbed the "Workaholic" amongst them all.  

She stopped and turned to the open sea.  The wind caught her hair and sent it flying away from her face.  She loved this feeling.  Her hand was still on her tummy, her other one she extended as if to try and catch the wind.  'No sense in feeling foolish' she thought as she closed her eyes to savour what Mother Nature gave so freely, yet inside she prayed 'please let everything be okay. I don't mind being a single mother, I just pray Mama doesn't have my head for this.'  The morning sickness has subsided, but they still occurred randomly.  Some days she'd wake up dandy and some days she felt like the very devil was wreaking havoc on her body.  The thought of facing her mother wasn't sitting well with her at that moment however. She opened her eyes, sighed and continued walking.

*****

He saw her and he stopped dead in his track, his thoughts reeling to a stop.  It's been six weeks and all of a sudden there she was. He decided to go walking today, for a reason beyond him besides for the fact that he felt like it; he was his own man after all.  With his hands in the pockets of his slacks his head turned towards the sea he left all unanswered questions behind him, even if it was only for that moment.  All those questions came rushing back the moment he laid his eyes on the raven-haired lady who was facing the sea with one hand stretched out as if she was trying to embrace the breeze.  It took his breath away.  _She _took his breath away. He shook his head at that thought.  'Best not think that way my man, it will probably only lead to trouble.'  He saw her drop both her arms to her side, and saw a frown come on her face.  It was only for a swift moment, he wasn't too sure if he imagined it or not, then he saw her turn and walk away from his direction, her hair blowing in the wind. 'Damn it Hiiragizawa, you don't _notice _things like that!' he berated himself.  He did an about face and came face to face with Syaoran Li.  He thought he saw something flash in the man's eyes, but it was gone in an instant and Eriol began to wonder if he was beginning to hallucinate today.  Perhaps it was too much sea air.  

"Eriol," He nodded towards him.

"Hello Syaoran." Eriol smiled towards his friend.  He had known him since childhood, and he could tell that something was a bit amiss, but he couldn't put his finger on it, for it was quickly buried beneath the Wolf's amber eyes.   "How have you been? How are Sakura and my godson?"

"They're well, you should come visit sometime. We'd like you to come for dinner and Koen probably misses is troublemaking godfather."  And we'd like a chance to grill you to the very bone about what the blazes occurred between you and Tomoyo, he added in his mind. 

"I'd love that." Eriol grinned. They continued to walk to the end of the sea wall side by side.

"So, have you seen Tomoyo lately?" Syaoran asked.  'At least the man had shame enough to blush' Syaoran thought as he watched Eriol go a light shade of pink, impossible as that may be since the man had grown from his fair complexion as a boy, into a tall and dark handsome man. 

"Uh, well, I haven't spoken to her for awhile actually." It was the truth if anything at all.

"Hmm, why is that?" Syaoran continued to prod, enjoying watching his friend squirm.  Despite the fact that he utterly disagreed with what happened between Eriol and Tomoyo, the fact that he thought Eriol was mostly to blame and that if he bumped into him the week Tomoyo told both him and Sakura that she was pregnant with Eriol's child, he would have cheerfully given him a black eye or broken jaw or both. Eriol should thank Sakura for keeping Syaoran from storming into his house and giving him a piece of his mind.  Eriol was still his friend, and eventually he would forgive him. Eventually.  If he was biased so be it, Tomoyo was like a sister to him, and if it were Sakura in the same position, Touya would…well, let Eriol be grateful that Syaoran is not like Touya and that Touya did not know anything yet and leave it at that.

"We, ah, came across issues and it ended up awkward, so…" He ended with a heartfelt shrug.  He _was _really frustrated after all and why was his friend prodding and poking? Or it seemed like it anyway.

"_Ah_" was the only reply from Syaoran as they walked in complete silence to the end of the wall.  Having the urge to put some distance between him and Syaoran before the Wolf digs out the truth, Eriol bid a hasty farewell and ran up the street to his home.  Syaoran watched him retreat with a wry grin on his lips.  It was still there when Sakura, came to meet him, their son in their arms.  

"What's with that look on your face?" She asked as Syaoran wrapped his arm around his wife's waist and resumed walking.  He looked down and smiled at his family, a rare smile filled with warmth. 

"I just ran into Eriol a few moments ago."

"Wolf," She eyed him suspiciously. "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing that would break our promise to Tomoyo, I assure you."

"But you couldn't help but try to dig it out couldn't you?" Her husband smiled and shrugged.  She was about to nudge him on the side when their son reached out to his father and tugged the closest ear. Hard.  Syaoran winced and smiled as he gently released his son's hand from his ear and held on to it gently, bouncing it up and down playfully.  

"I guess he knows what his mother is thinking.  I'm sorely outnumbered here." He feigned a sigh and Sakura could do nothing but laugh, a crystal clear laugh that floated through the air.  Syaoran kissed her on the forehead and gave a chuckle.

"I just hope Tomoyo tells Aunt Sonomi soon, she can't hide this and it's better to have all of Hell break loose sooner than later." Sakura reflected.

"Indeed." Replied her Wolf, and then there was no more on that matter.

*****

Eriol was only but too glad to get away from Syaoran.  He knew something that Eriol didn't and if it he didn't know any better, he could have sworn that Syaoran was more than a bit perturbed.  At him.  

Now what had he done to him lately?  He mentally ticked off things in his head. He did not call his wife cute, he did not teach Syaoran's son how to levitate things, or any magic for that matter, and he was pretty sure he had not offended Syaoran openly.  If he did, Eriol was sure he'd get a quick fire reaction that Eriol would all but find entertaining.  As it was some things never changed.  Yet he felt something was wrong, he could feel it in his blood.  In due time, it was going to blow up in his face.  He knew it was coming, he just didn't know when, and that was what was keeping him on edge as he walked home.  He then heard a familiar voice behind him 

"Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here Stranger."   

He turned and saw Nakuru Akizuki.  Her sable hair let loose, her jeans a bit too tight and her top a bit too revealing.  Eriol raised a dark eyebrow at her.  Nakuru, he met as a child, a girl with a mysterious past and no home, so he had taken her in and as she grew, she became his assistant on all his travels, his second in command in his line of work, that is until he decided to live a normal life.  Upon making this decision, he told her she could do whatever she wanted, but that she would always have a place in his home.  She, of course decided to travel the world, though she had seen much of it already thanks to Eriol's career. She went to France and became a fashion model, taking Europe by storm. She was a sensation there from what Eriol had seen and heard.  He wondered at what brought her here. 

Nakuru was the closest thing that Eriol had for a sister, an eccentric sister if anything, but a sister nonetheless and she used that to all her advantages, he practically adopted her as his sibling considering that amount of money he had spent on her, but he wouldn't trade her for the world. 

"I don't recommend that you wear that outfit in public again young lady." He said in an arrogant tone.

"Is that all the welcome I get,_ Nii-san_???" She stomped her foot, and Eriol wondered how the heel from her stilettos did not go flying off.  He smiled and opened his arms wide. 

"Welcome home, little sis."  She ran into his arms squealing. Eriol spun her once and set her down to get a better look at her.  Dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, a fair complexion and the body of, well, a model.  He remembered having to happily tell off a number of young men who were obviously after her body and perhaps her wealth for Eriol, after taking Nakuru in his complete care, gave her somewhat of a _dowry_ even though those sort of things did not exist in this present day and age.  It was for her and for her alone and it was hers to deal with the moment she came of age, to help her make something of herself and if she got married, she could share it with her husband, if she chose.  He'd watched her grow up.  She was a pretty girl to start off with, but when she hit 17 she became what some heartily called 'drop dead gorgeous' and Eriol wondered if he did not spoil her.  After all she was only six years his junior. 

"Where's your luggage?" He asked he offered her his arm.

"At your house." She said cheerfully.

"Well then, lets go home and you can tell me everything." No doubt his little vixen of a sister would have stories to tell.  Eriol's mood brightened and he pushed his odd encounter with Syaoran and the image of Tomoyo to the back of his head.  Though the latter has harder to do.  He smiled as Nakuru started to chatter away about her flight here, the people she saw and the things she did.  It was good to have her home; it was getting a bit quiet at home, just him and his cat Spinel.  'The more the merrier' He thought as he listened to Nakuru's cheerful voice all the way home.

*****

Tomoyo tried to swallow this bad taste she had in her mouth and this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She had turned around when she heard a high pitch squeal to see a gorgeous woman with long hair the colour of polished oak and a body of a goddess throw herself into none other than Eriol Hiiragizawa's open arms.  

'_Well hell_' Thought Tomoyo.  She tried to turn and walk away but she continued to watch them.  She watched as Eriol set her down and look at her, a dazzling smile on his lips.  She continued to watch as they walked away arm in arm. 'So be it, it's not like he's committed himself to me.  Heck, the poor guy doesn't even have the slightest clue as to what he's going to have to deal with.'  But in truth, Tomoyo only had to blame herself for that. She was putting off a confrontation with him, plain and honest. She was telling Sakura one day, 

"What on earth am I supposed to tell him? 'Hi, I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you for almost two months, but I just wanted to tell you I'm carrying your child.' Oh yes that would go _really well_ with him.  I wouldn't be surprised if the man turned heel and ran like the devil was after him."  

She turned and began to walk to her apartment, wondering what _would _his reaction be once she told him her news and what would they do about it.  Ignoring the feeling that still lingered in her stomach, her thoughts wandered to her mother.  Tomoyo was really delaying the inevitable and it was a dangerous thing.  She had to do it, and she had to do it soon, she knew that holding it off would anger her mother more just because she didn't tell her the moment she found out.  She was just afraid of what her mother would do. A woman of independence, stature and power, this was the picture of Sonomi Daidouji.  Tomoyo imagined that she didn't remarry because she simply intimidated the majority of the men in this world.  But not her daughter, Tomoyo got her thick skin from her mother, as well as her stubbornness and her pride.  They came head to head often, but the filial respect was there as was the love.   

Tomoyo's thoughts were still on her mother when she reached home.  It was time to face the music.  Clicking on her answering machine she heard her mother's voice and Tomoyo unknowingly winced.

"Tomoyo, it's Mom, please tell me you're not at the flower shop, Sakura has told me that you were ill two weeks ago, I don't want you getting sick again just because you're a workaholic.  I know you're going to say it runs in the blood, but do as I say, not as I do. Love you, call me, bye." 

Tomoyo was picking up the phone as the message finished, thanking Sakura silently for keeping her morning sickness seem like an illness due to exhaustion.  She punched the speed dial button for her mother's house, her heartbeat speeding up to her dismay. 

"Hello? Mom? It's Tomoyo, I got your message, can I come over tomorrow for lunch? I have something to tell you."  She listened awhile tapping on the table. "No, I cannot tell you on the phone, I'd rather see you face to face on this, besides, I haven't seen you in awhile. 12:30 then? Okay, I have to go.  No I'm not going back to the shop, I promise I'll rest. _I promise. _I love you too, bye Mom."  Hanging up the phone she sank into her sofa, a prayer on her lips.

'_God give me strength'_

***tsuzuku**

A/N: Hey guys, sorry if this one was a tad long. A few notes, "filial" is a respectful relationship between child and parent. And I made a few changes, Eriol no longer lives in a condominium, I gave him back the mansion that he is so accustomed to.  And _Nii-san _is Japanese for older brother, but I'm sure a handful of you guys knew that already right?( ^.~) The changes were made in the Prologue so that it is consistent, you guys who read the prologue before, feel free to re read that, though it wasn't really a GREAT change. Hahaah ^^; Thank you all. 


	4. Third Month: Part One

**Disclaimer:** CCS in all its glory belong to the maniacally insane but genius minds of CLAMP. Oh and this is AU _Arigatou Gozaimasu!_

**Third Month:**_ Part One_

Tomoyo walked silently towards the entrance of her childhood home.  Childhood  _palace, _really.  The way there was beautiful as always, just before the entrance door, which had a pedament supported by round columns, there was a fountain.  The centrepiece was a Water nymph sitting on a high rock with water pouring from her hands.  Subtle enough, but Tomoyo always thought of the fountain as a magical place when she was a child, and now she looks at it as a memory of the years gone by.   She fought back the tears stinging her eyes, the doctor told her it was normal for pregnant women to get weepy for no good reason.  Well great, now she was going to be a puddle before she even faced her mother.  

The day did not start out that well for Tomoyo.  The moment that she woke up, she knew that she was not going to have a break from the nausea this day and made a bolt for the washroom.  It was really unfair though, the fathers never had to go through anything.  And the particular father of _this _child knew nothing at all.  At that thought she felt a wave of anger, then frustration, followed by despair and hopelessness, then back to anger.  Darned mood swings, but if they didn't make the day more interesting as long as she didn't prey on her coworkers and friends.  None of them save Sakura and Syaoran knew anything, not yet.  'One step at a time' Tomoyo constantly reminded herself, but the fact that during that morning she went through a handful of emotions, felt her stomach was going to self-combust and that she was going to throw up her lungs made her want to catch the next plane to Nowhere Land and just live a life of solitude.  But no, Sonomi Daidouji did not raise a weak child, and so here she was in front of the door, staring at the mahogony for what seemed like eons, until that is it opened and there stood her formidable mother. 'God save me' she prayed before placing a smile on her lips. 

 A smile, Sonomi noticed, that reached her eyes, but which was accompanied by something else.  She would have to wait and see.

"Tomoyo, what in heaven's name are you doing there admiring the door? Come in sweetie."  She pulled her daughter into a hug and Tomoyo welcomed the smell that was uniquely her mother, it was a comforting smell, for the most part, but at that moment, it made her stomach churn unpleasantly.  Tomoyo fought hard against the nausea and won.  This round. 

A few moments later they were on the porch in the backyard, which faced no thing but lush, emerald rolling hills.  Sonomi was beginning to grow suspicious of her daughter's behaviour since Tomoyo arrived.  She had barely said three complete sentences together and maybe it was Sonomi's imagination but Tomoyo seemed reluctant to look her in the eye.  The moments when Tomoyo could look into her mother's gaze, Sonomi feared that Tomoyo would burst into tears.

Something was definitely wrong and Sonomi was not going to wait much longer to find out what ailed her daughter, succumbing her to this unsure, overly emotional, nervous package in front of her.  She had never seen her daughter so dsitraught since that time when Tomoyo confessed in breaking the crystal vase from Spain, which happened as Tomoyo was playing make believe that she was a sorceress and that the vase, which she filled with water was her "looking pond".  The vase was too heavy for the little Tomoyo and she ended up in tears as she confessed to her mother.  But back then, Sonomi noted, she didn't have the habit of going to the washroom every five minutes as her daughter seemed accustomed to doing now, even this very moment, excusing herself from the table for the fourth time.  

Sonomi's mind went into overdrive.  Perhaps Tomoyo was ill or perhaps something has happened to her business, which Sonomi knew Tomoyo would draw blood for.  Tomoyo returned, somewhat paler than before and Sonomi, the usually calm and collected person that she was, was on the edge of panic, meanwhile Tomoyo was giving herself a pep talk in her head.

'Dear God, she knows, _augh _and this bladder of mine is _not _helping. No point in delaying the inevitable.'

            "Tomoyo, you look frightened to death.  Out with it, child."

            "Mom." She was happy that her voice wavered only a little, taking another breath she continued.  "I'm pregnant." 

And then to Tomoyo's dismay and Sonomi's surprise, Tomoyo burst into tears.  Tomoyo did not cry without good reason, she rarely cried.  Sonomi, under any other circumstance, after receiving such life changing news would have began exclaiming and lecturing, but looking at her Tomoyo, she knew that it would not do, nor was it needed.  Sonomi's daughter was too proud to ever shed tears and now here was her baby before her, in tears, a mere moment after confessing that she was with child. It was a good thing Sonomi hasn't taken to swooning, for if she was a lesser woman, she fancied she'd be unconscious on the floor.

  But that wouldn't help either of them out now wouldn't it?  

'At least she didn't say "Hey Mama, you're about to become a grandmother"' Sonomi bit back an smile, Pushing her shock aside, for indeed she was as shocked as to be numb with it, she stood and came around the table to wrap her arms around her daughter.  Many questions flitted in and out of Sonomi's mind, but at the moment all she did was stroke her daughter's back.   

            "Shhh, there now." She whispered softly.

Tomoyo was utterly disgusted with herself, the moment she burst into tears for the fact that she _burst into tears_.  And at that berating thought she went through another round of tears, sobbing into her mother's shoulder.  

Stupid, _stupid _hormones.  After a moment she was able to calm herself down, fighting the urge sniffle.  She was not a child. Unfortunately.

            "Okay, I'm done." She croaked.

Sonomi eased her back and she took the chair she had abandoned and dragged it closer to Tomoyo.

            "Tomoyo," She saw the steel in her mother's eyes and braced for whatever came next.  The Apocalypse was what she was betting on, or perhaps Hell would open up and swallow her whole.  "Were you raped?"

            Tomoyo almost guffawed at that notion, but it _was _a logical question.

            "No Mama, I assure you."  She had no recollection of what happened that night, but she knew to the very depth of her bones that Eriol did not force her into the situation that she ended up in the morning she woke up. 

            "Who is the father?" This question had Tomoyo almost breaking into a sweat.  She gulped.  Count on her mother to cut to the chase.

            "Eriol." She said quietly, meeting her mother's eyes, fighting the next round of tears threatening to overflow.  This crying business was really too much for Tomoyo to take and she'd be damned if she was going to use it as artillery to get out of tough situations.  It was not like Sonomi would buy it anyway.  Tomoyo focused back on her mother's reaction to this revelation.

            "_Dr. Eriol Hiiragizawa?_"  Sonomi stood so abruptly, her chair almost tipped over.  Tomoyo's eyes grew as large as two moons at this reaction.  "Why of all the insolent, insufferable, outrageous…" She broke off and looked at her daughter.  "Are you sure he didn't take advantage of you?"  Tomoyo looked down at her lap and replied.

"No Mama, but I can't remember what happened that night."

            "_Oh Tomoyo._"

            "I'm sorry Mama." She said quietly.  

Sonomi did not have all the details and she knew that Tomoyo most certainly did understand that it took two to tango, but by God, Eriol Hiiragizawa will pay for complicating her daughter's virtue.

"Did he propose marriage?"  Sonomi asked. This time Tomoyo did guffaw and Sonomi knew for sure that it was not the case that the doctor did the gentleman-like action of taking responsibility.  _Well, well, well._  "Does he know?"

Tomoyo solemnly shook her head.  

"I wanted to go to you first before him."  At that Sonomi smiled.  So that was why Tomoyo looked like she was meeting her executioner when she first saw her at the door.  She would not chastise her daughter, if there was one thing that she drilled into Tomoyo's head since when she became aware of the world around her was that her actions were her responsibility, be they justified or otherwise.  Besides, what she planned on doing would probably be punishment enough, and Tomoyo would argue and perhaps hate her for doing it but she would have to wait and see and risk it all.

"You will keep the little one?"

"That goes without saying." She replied sternly but softly.  Sonomi felt a little spurt of pride run through her.

"How far are you, dear?"

"Third month of the first trimester."

"Heavens Tomoyo, you don't look like it! Start eating more."

"It's the morning sickness." Tomoyo replied. "It just doesn't seem to go away." 

"It was the same with me when I carried you." Sonomi smiled at the memory, then she sighed.

"You two made a wrong decision, and from this, there will be a child." She looked at her daughter and gave her a sad smile.  "I, of all people should be able to understand that.  But my dear Tomoyo, I always thought that you'd do better than your mother, that you'd conquer the world first."

Tomoyo felt tears slide down her cheek.  Her mother was not only disappointed in her, but she felt sympathy towards her as well.  These tears were not hormone induced; they came from the overflowing sorrow from her heart. 

"You did conquer the world though Mama. I'm sorry." Tomoyo buried her head in hear hands.  After a moment she felt her mother embrace her.

"Oh Tomoyo, there is nothing to forgive.  Such is the way of the world isn't it my child?  But what will you do?"

Tomoyo sniffed once, gathering her thoughts together once again.

"I will live life like I always have before this child."  Afterwards…well she'll just have to wait and see.

*****

The mother and daughter enjoyed the rest of their lunch in peace.  Tomoyo was relieved her mother didn't rave and rant and whatever else she expected that Sonomi would have done, which would have to be accomplished using her loud business like tone. She left afterwards feeling a little bit more at ease, but there was one more obstacle that she must face and that was the man who she hasn't spoken to for almost three months. 

Sonomi watched from one of the windows as Tomoyo walked down the path away from the house.  Tomoyo had refused a ride home, insisting that it was a beautiful day.  Sonomi, who would have insisted otherwise, had other plans and therefore did not force Tomoyo into taking the car with the family driver.  Sonomi picked up the nearest phone and dialled an extension number.

"Please have the car at the front in ten minutes, I have a little errand that I have to do."  She hung up the phone and took a last glance back to where Tomoyo had just been, now no where in site.  

*****

            Eriol was sitting in his home office, enjoying the rest of the afternoon with some quiet time to himself and ignoring all the work that he had to do when he heard voices coming from the other side of the double door. 

            "He _can _and he _will_ see me." Said a woman's voice outside the hallway, a woman of class and he assumed, a woman of the world from hearing the tone of her voice.  

            "What gives you the right to just barge in here and think you own the place?" That was Nakuru's voice that followed, spunky as always.  He really should go out there and make sure that no blood was shed, no windows broken. 

            "Oh, believe me I have all the right in the world." And with that Sonomi Daidouji, in all her glory, burst into the office and came face to face with the master of the house.  _Sonomi Daidouji_. Eriol stood as she entered and raised an eyebrow.  This would certainly be interesting.  He saw the red in her eyes and realized that he was in over his head.  The CEO of Daidouji Corps and the well renowned professor had little in common and therefore moved in different circles and now she was here standing before him, clearly infuriated and all the more intimidating because he was her target.

            "Explain yourself Dr. Hiiragizawa."

            "Do have a seat Mrs. Daidouji."

            "I will stand thank you, now tell me, what on earth have you done to my daughter?!"  Eriol managed not to blanch but instead raised an eyebrow once again and noticed that Nakuru still lingered at the doorway.

            "Excuse me." He bowed slightly towards Sonomi and headed towards the door, closing it on Nakuru's face.  He turned and saw that Sonomi had not budged from her position, still facing his desk, arms crossed, ready for battle.

            "What did I do to Tomoyo?" He asked.

            "Don't even think about throwing my questions back at me young man.  She came to me today and told me the most fascinating news."  By the tone of her voice Eriol believed that whatever news Tomoyo gave to her mother, it certainly was not _fascinating._  His mind told him that Sonomi now knew what had happened two and a half months ago and now was out for his head.  

            "Sit down Professor, you're going to need to." As to why I'm giving you a warning I do not know, I'd rather see you fall on the floor really, she thought to herself. Eriol eyed her sceptically, but regardless, did as she advised. 

            "Have you the slightest clue of what state my daughter is in right now? I rather imagine not, or else I would expect you to be by her side this instant." Some how, Eriol had the most ridiculous notion that Tomoyo was sick, but brushed that aside because her mother was here in front of him and not with her as she knew he would be.  "I won't beat around the bush anymore boy." Eriol forced himself to remain neutral in expression at hearing the word "_boy_". "My daughter is pregnant with your child, Eriol." She stopped to see how he would react and upon seeing the reaction on his face, she wished she had not told him to sit down for she was sure he would be flat on his back had he remained standing.  To his credit, he did not go off denying such an accusation, but that made it all the more truthful.  Before Sonomi sat the shocked father of Tomoyo's child.

            "Now professor, tell me, what happened that night?"

            "I suggest you find out from your daughter." He, through some miracle managed to look Sonomi in the eye, his voice stern and unwavering.  Inside though, chaos was breaking loose. _Tomoyo was pregnant? With HIS child? _He wanted to storm out of that room and run all the way to Tomoyo's place to get the truth out of her, perhaps shaking her in the process for making him go through this little _vis-à-vis_ with her mother all by himself.  But no, he wouldn't because Sonomi was here and chances are so werre her bodyguards, who are all probably outside waiting to jump him if he tried to make an escape. 

            "Well, I would, and certainly would have done that by now if she remembered exactly what had happened that night."

            "She doesn't remember?"

            "Do you think I'd make something like this up?"  
            "No ma'am, but in that case, I suggest you wait until she remembers for you may accuse me for making things up."

            "I'll take that for now. As for the present, do you plan on marrying my daughter"?

            "I _beg _your pardon?" 

            "I mean after all that is the only course of action to take at the moment, and I know that despite everything, you are a decent man, or else I wouldn't have made such a suggestion to you. I would have had you arrested or perhaps shot." There was a gleam in her eyes and Eriol did not know if Sonomi was kidding.  Sonomi did not joke around often, and certainly not in circumstances such as this.  He thanked the heavens he was raised a gentleman; else he may be dead on the street somewhere.

            "Madame, listen to yourself. I remind you this is the twenty-first century, not the nineteenth.  You cannot come in here and demand that I marry your daughter, nor do I doubt that she would like the idea herself."

            "Professor, I did not demand, I suggested it.  But it is something that I truly hope you follow up on. Now." She stood up, as did he. Not a moment too soon, for Eriol was about to ask her to leave and he did not know how she would have taken.  It was utterly ridiculous, this was _his _house and in the last half hour he has thought of escaping it and hesitated upon dismissing his guest.  He would not have hesitated a few years back. "I believe I have trespassed on your time quite enough this afternoon.  If you know what is good for you and Tomoyo, think about what I've told you Eriol." 

And with that she turned and walked out the door.  Eriol stood watching after her wondering if that was a threat.  He certainly would not put it past that woman. He heard the front door open and close. 

            Before he could so much as sigh with relief Nakuru stood in the doorway and gaped at him.  Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly reminding Eriol of a helpless fish out of water, but his sister, though a lot of things, was certainly not _helpless_.  What she could be, however, was a tornado – loud, violent and unpredictable.  By the look in her dark eyes, Eriol knew that he was going to get hit by one.

            "You got Tomoyo pregnant?" Her voice was calm, but Eriol knew better.

            Eriol put his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to do with them.  In fact, he did not know what to do. Period.  Nakuru stalked towards him and started poking him in the chest, matching every word said.

            "You – got – innocent – Tomoyo – pregnant!"  To Nakuru's dismay, Eriol did not budge from her assault.  The damned man was built like a rock. 

            "It seems so." He muttered more to himself, rather than to her.

            "Hell, Eriol, how come?"

            "I don't know… I didn't mean to…" Eriol stopped after realizing that all the words what would come out of his mouth at that moment would sound horribly mundane, not to mention that they would fall on deaf ears, for once _Tornado Nakuru_ got going, people just got out of the way and let her run her course. Right now, she was pacing, her sable hair flying as she turned.  She suddenly stopped, turned and faced him.

            "How…?" She broke off and held her hand out, saying, "Scratch that, I'm innocent, but not ignorant.  I'd rather give that cat of yours a bath rather than dwell on that thought."  Eriol decided to hold his tongue after hearing his sister refer to herself as "innocent".  In any other situation, he surely would have said something, but he was in no place to do so, he may as well sign his will.  His thoughts began to take a path of their own.  Tomoyo was pregnant with _his _child and for three bloody months, yet he's heard nothing, not so much as a "How do you do" from her.  Just how long did she plan on keeping this from him?  If Tomoyo did not tell her mother, would he still be ignorant of the situation right now? For the next three months or more?  Curse that girl. He did not need her mother storming into his house to lecture him on responsibility and duty, and now he had to deal with Nakuru.  Said sibling stopped pacing when she saw Eriol's expression; eyes half closed, his mouth set on a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed together.

            "So my dear brother, a fine mess you have here."

            "I don't need any of that from you." He so much as growled at her.

            "No…"She mused, "Because _Madame_ Daidouji just gave it to ya better than I ever could."  

            Eriol glared at her.  What bloody century was it?  He felt like he was stuck in the nineteenth century where when one takes a virgin's virtue, they are then obliged to marry her.  Cursed hell!

            "So what are you going to do?"  Nakuru broke through his thoughts.  Eriol was thinking that he needed a drink.  Sonomi Daidouji had just come in here, dumped this news that he was going to be father and was practically forcing him, if not threatening him into marrying her daughter, a woman he just could not seem to see himself with for the rest of his life.

            "I say marry her." Nakuru said non-chalantly.

            "Damn it, Nakuru."  Eriol then started pacing.  Was everyone against him?

            "Don't curse at me Eriol.  This is Tomoyo we're talking about."

            "Exactly, this _Tomoyo_ we're talking about.  I just can't see it."

            "And why can't you marry her?  Wasn't it that you loved her once before?"  Eriol's head snapped up at those words, he almost tripped over his own feet.

            "No Nakuru, what that was back then was perhaps infatuation, admiration.  Nothing more.  What was in the past stays where it is."

            "So why, after realizing that she was, as you assumed, out of your league, for the last nine years, you've been playing the ladies' man?"  It took all of Eriol's control not to shake the all-knowing Nakuru. "Why did this happen? What happened two and a half months ago Eriol?"

            "I need to think.  I'm going for a walk."  He burst out off the room without another word.  Nakuru followed him to the door and yelled out "You better have an answer when you get back _Nii-san_!" Using the term she called him when she first came into his home. "Or I won't let you find any peace and quiet day or night!"  She did not even wince as she heard the front door slam shut.  The black cat on the windowsill opened his eyes and yawned.  Nakuru glanced at him and sighed.

            "You have it too easy cat.  I'm going shopping."  

*****

Fresh air.  Eriol did not realize just how much he was suffocating in his own home.  Still, he felt frustrated and confused and perhaps even hurt.  For once in his life, a life that he controlled fully and wholly, where he made every step decisively, he did not know what to do.  But one thing was for certain; he was going to confirm all that had happened today from the very source herself.   

**tsuzuku**

**A/N**: At least I got this out in less than a month. I realized it was going to be a long month for everyone in this story so I had to split the third month into two.  And for note's sake "vis-à-vis" is francais "face to face".  I'm so grateful for the reaction that I'm getting from this story, like I said, anything that has a naked man in bed during the prologue does have appeal ahhahahah. Thank you everyone, I'll try to get the second part up soon.


	5. Third Month: Part Two

**Disclaimer:** Cardcaptor Sakura, its characters, etc. belong to the ladies of CLAMP, but I have Yukito locked in my closet.  Oh! And this is AU ^^

**Third Month**:****_Part two_

Tomoyo intended to go home and rest after she left the Daidouji Manor, however, she found herself at _Petals, etc._  The moment the she walked into the door, Sakura almost pounced on her.

            "Tomoyo!" She whispered.  "What are you doing _not _at home resting?"  

She took a hasty glance towards Rika who was frowning thoughtfully over an unfinished flower arrangement that she was working on.  Everyone was still truly clueless.  They would have to know sooner or later of course.  But what would they think?  Tomoyo took a step in the shop as Rika looked up.  Tomoyo smiled at her and then looked at Sakura who was still looking at her like she was a bad puppy who dug a hole out of her pent up play area.  Tomoyo walked towards the office and Sakura followed her, ready to explode, but since Rika was there and no one still knew of Tomoyo's pregnancy, she was forced to keep silent until they reached the room at the far end of the shop.  Tomoyo entered the room and sat down behind her desk as Sakura closed the door behind her.

            "I just came back from my mother.  She now knows everything."

            "Oh dear God! And you're still alive." Sakura rushed over to the side of the desk and started inspecting Tomoyo, who laughing slapped her hand away.

            "Sakura, you goof! You know my mother would never lay a hand on me." 

            Sakura stood up and smiled.

            "Yeah, I know I know.  It is those who choose to lay a hand on you that I should pray for really."

            "Oh dear, I never really thought of what Mama would do to Eriol…"     

            Tomoyo's thoughts slowly went into overdrive.  True, she did not harbour any warm feelings towards the man, but he was, after all, the father of her child, so if anything, she'd want him alive, uninjured and not in prison.  Her mother wouldn't do anything so rash.  Wouldn't she? 

            "Don't worry so much Tomoyo, I'm sure your mom won't send assassins after him."  Sakura laughed.

            "Yeah true.  Now, how is everything here today?"

            Rika walked into the office after this question replying,

            "Everything is as well as it should honey.  You should really be at home resting though Tomoyo, we know that you've been under the weather lately." She smiled that motherly smile that all the girls loved; it made them feel like they belonged.  Odd that Rika was only the same age as them, yet the maturity she exerted was a good handful of years ahead of the rest of them and perhaps a good decade ahead of the men in their lives.  Tomoyo pouted. 

            "Everyone is against me today.  Can't I stay for a little while?? I mean this _is _my business as well as your guys isn't it?" She pleaded half jokingly.

            Sakura looked at Rika.

            "What do you say? Should we throw her out or let her stay?"

            "I think she can handle one arrangement, and then we'll have to throw her out." Rika returned.

            "You hear that Miss Daidouji? One arrangement, and no paperwork. If you're not out after that, we're carrying you out of here hand and foot." Sakura eyed her cousin as she stood and started walking towards the office door.  Before leaving she turned and gave them a fake salute.

            "Yes ma'ams, threaten acknowledged." And with a smirk walked out the door humming a happy tune.  Rika followed Tomoyo out and Sakura sat down behind Tomoyo's desk, placing her head in her hands, sighing.  She remembered all, too well the mood swings she had when she was carrying Koen.  She rather enjoyed them; it put Wolf on pins and needles.  Now there was her cousin going through the same thing, but there was no one there by her side.  Sending a prayer up for some kind of miracle, that even she wasn't even sure of, Sakura stood and followed the two ladies out onto the shop floor.

            Tomoyo took in the smell of chrysanthemum, roses, lilies, daisies and all the other flowers scents that mixed and mingled in the flower shop and she smiled.  

*****

            "Sakura, Rika! I'm going now." Tomoyo yelled her farewell from the shop door.

            "Bye Tomoyo." Rika walked up to the door, holding a small bouquet of mini sunflowers, which she gave to Tomoyo.  "Take these with you." She smiled at her. "Don't worry, I took it out of my paycheque." Rika winked at Tomoyo.

            Tomoyo began shaking her head; a smile began to form at her lips.  Did she used to be that anal about the shop and what came in and out, be it a single petal or a whole bouquet? She hoped not.  

            "You guys are all crazy." She laughed, "Thank you though Miss Rika." 

            Sakura walked up to them both, a smile ever on her lips.

            "Okay Tomoyo, I don't want to see you here until next week.  No, don't start complaining."  Sakura continued as Tomoyo opened her mouth to object. "That is what the schedule says."

            "I'd like to see this schedule for myself." Tomoyo muttered.

            "Don't worry about it." Sakura waved her hand to dismiss such a notion, "It's in the office somewhere. You'll see it when you get back, _next week_."

            "Hmph." Tomoyo raised an eyebrow.  "Okay, okay I'm off."

            "Take care!"  The two ladies went back inside, but Tomoyo just stood out there and stared at her shop.  There were red bricks for the wall, a nice smooth oak door with windows cut out of it and a bell attached to it, which would ring a little whenever it opened or closed.   There were two large display windows and two canopies that extended from the window.  In front of the windows, there were buckets of flowers that customers could pick and choose at as they please.  Tomoyo sent a prayer of thanks to the heavens for this little place of hers and continued to walk towards her next destination.   

            A fifteen minutes later, she found herself standing outside Dr. Yukito Tsukishiro's office, her obstetrician.  She wondered if all this walking was good for her and wondered is she should have taken her car instead of walking all over the place this day.  Too late for thoughts like that, she told herself.  She always felt nervous going to these appointments and her pride would not let her ask anyone to accompany her.

She thought herself foolish for being nervous for she has known the doctor for as long as she could remember.  Growing up as an only child, Tomoyo was lucky, for she was never alone; Sakura was the sister she never had and in a sense Sakura's older brother, Touya Kinomoto, virtually became her older brother, as well as Yukito, who has been Touya's best friend for as long as Tomoyo could remember.  Then Syaoran came into their world and Tomoyo realized that if trouble ever came to pass, she would have three men who would stand up and fight for her.

            'How about Eriol?'  Her stubborn mind asked.  'Do you doubt, that for as long as you've known him, he would have come to your aide if you needed him?'  She shoved those thoughts in the back of her head to dwell on another day, perhaps when she was alone with her child and couldn't sleep at night, and then she would have an answer for that smart-aleck voice in her head.

            "Excuse me miss, but my receptionist informed me that my four o' clock appointment was standing outside of my office looking utterly lost."

            She blinked at him a couple of times before realizing that she was daydreaming in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Oh dear.  Sorry Yuki, I must've lost myself in thought again." She walked towards the door.  As far as formalities went, there weren't any between them, _any _of them: Sakura, Tomoyo, Syaoran, Touya and Yuki.  Like Tomoyo had said, they were family and formalities weren't needed.   Yuki smiled at her and braced her elbow, leading her inside.

            "Let's see how the two of you are doing today shall we?" He said in that gentle and kind voice of his.  

            Tomoyo was a little worried coming to Yukito when she found out that she was pregnant.   The most patient and gentle of the three aforementioned men, she told herself to quit worrying.  But the fact that she looked up to Yukito as a brother is what kept her worrying.  To his credit, he looked surprised when he saw Tomoyo in his waiting room, and that it was not just a casual visit.  Naturally she told him the truth.  Out of the three men, it was Yukito who she could never lie to.  While she was being honest with herself, she may as well include Eriol in the bunch.  He was the last addition to their circle of friends, and since he could practically lie as well as Tomoyo, she saw no point in lying to him either and even now she hasn't, because she was practically hiding from him if anything.  

Lying was a skill that Sakura often teased Tomoyo of having.  Often, she told her it came to Tomoyo like breathing.  Tomoyo knew Sakura was joking, but sometimes she would be offended and shocked at true fact that she was often looked at as an easy-going liar.  She did not lie as much as she did as a child, only when it was really needed, and even then they were white lies - _convincing white lies.  Like the time when she told Touya that she was simply getting over the stomach flu, when they were all over at Sakura and Syaoran's place and the nausea was too much for Tomoyo and she had to run to the washroom.  He had looked at her suspiciously and that was when she told him of her supposed sickness.  He knew the truth now though, thanks to his brother-in-law.  _

            Tomoyo could not even begin to imagine what kind of things Touya was planning for Eriol Hiiragizawa the next time they met.  An engineer and physics genius, Touya would indeed be able to come up with creative ways to torture the professor Hiiragizawa and Syaoran would no doubt be only too happy to help Touya out. Tomoyo almost wished that they did not get along as well as they presently did, these two men who used to come fist to fist every chance they got over petty little things since Syaoran came to their school.  If Yukito harboured any ill will against Eriol, he has not made it known.

            After the ultra sound, Yukito sat down in front of Tomoyo and said,

            "I'd like you to start eating more Tomoyo.  But don't worry, you and your baby are fine and it is normal for some mothers to no look pregnant even at the end of their first trimester."

            "I'm cursed.  I think it's a Daidouji trait to have morning sickness for all nine months of the pregnancy."

            "Don't worry Tomoyo, you're doing fine.  We'll see what the second trimester will bring."

            "Oh, I have an idea." Tomoyo grumbled.

            "Now, pardon my nosiness, but I was wondering how is the father in all of this."            

            "Utterly clueless."

            "Tomoyo…" Tomoyo raised her hands up in feigned surrender.

            "I know, I know.  He'll know by the end of this week."  Yuki stood up and smiled.

            "Good, in the mean time, I'll try to keep Touya from murdering Eriol."

            "At least one of you three has some sense."  Tomoyo replied.

            "Oh, I have a few questions for him and a few things to say to him on this matter, but injuring the man won't do any one any good."  He returned rather smoothly, as if he has a little plan of his own.

            "Perhaps," Tomoyo said, taking the hand he offered to help her up from her seat, "I should be worried about you the most of all."  She smiled wryly.

*****

            Eriol had come home later that day to an empty, quiet house. Thank God.  

            His quest to confront Tomoyo was put on hold because when he all but sped to her place, he found that she was not there, and he would be damned if he was going to be found waiting outside her door like a poor puppy, nor would he simply break and enter.  That is not to say that he couldn't do so without a stitch of evidence pointed towards him.  He did have his ways, however, he also had morals, though at this point and time he was this close to losing them as well as his mind.  

            Eriol decided that if anything, she would be at her shop.  After all, the girl practically lived there.  When he entered, Rika greeted him warmly but when he went and greeted Sakura, he saw something flash in her eyes and he realized something.

            She knew.

            It hit him like a bucket of bricks.  If she knew, then without a doubt, her husband knew as well.  

            'Well' Eriol almost smirked.  'That explains _his behaviour the last time I saw him.'  His good humour drained away as another thought began to take shape._

            'Who else knew?'  Anger ran through his veins like wild fire.  He had every right to know and yet there he was realizing that for three months, he was utterly clueless.  It seemed as if it was Tomoyo's plan to keep him beneath it all.  Well, she was certainly in for a pleasant surprise.  After he left the flower shop, he realized that he needed to go home and reign in his out of control emotions and perhaps a glass of whisky would be a nice addition as well.  

            So, now, here he was, at the end of the day, his world gone haywire and yet it seemed that he was no where close in gaining a little bit of control of the situation.  Not due to his lack of trying, of course. Perhaps, he just was not ready to face the elusive Tomoyo, for he knew that if he truly wanted to, he would have found her.  Right now though, he just felt so…_betrayed._  He sat down behind his desk, whisky in hand and for the second time in his twenty-eight years on the earth, he wished the world far, far away from him.

            Nakuru arrived a few hours after her brother and the day had long gone, over taken by the night and she was all set for a new round of interrogation.  However, upon passing by Eriol's office and taking a peek, she changed her mind quickly, yet begrudgingly.  She saw him, behind his desk, looking out the window with and expressionless face and an empty glass in his hand.  Surely it was not sympathy that she felt for him, but there it was.  So she crept away quietly.  Her questions could wait one more day.

*****

            That night, Tomoyo could not sleep.  She was tossing and turning in her bed, waiting for sleep to take over, yet it remained elusive and she remained awake.  Surrendering to the fact that she was not going to get any rest any time soon, she got out of bed and taking the shawl hanging on her closet knob, she went outside, to her balcony.

            There, a bright moon and its entourage of stars greeted her.   It was a cool, clear, and perfect night.

            So, why did Tomoyo sense that a storm was coming?

*****

            The next morning, Tomoyo woke up and realized that she had absolutely nothing to do.  She had a week off of work.  Curse Sakura for that and if she went insane from idleness, she would send her cousin the therapy bills.  Nothing can be done for this, Tomoyo thought.  I suppose a walk will have to do.  And so, as it was, half an hour later, she was walking down on the sidewalk on the street near her home, along small shops that were just opening up.  How she loved this place.  She could not imagine herself anywhere else.  At the sentimental thoughts, tears started to gather in her eyes.  She swore that she would cry over the rain falling and the sun rising nowadays.  This weepiness, along with the nausea, were things she could unquestionably live without.  She went to the park near the sea wall and there she found an empty bench.  Tomoyo watched the people around her, the sun dancing through the leaves of the tree that sheltered the bench where she sat and wondered how it would really be like raising the child by herself and explaining why she or he did not have a father.  The tears began to threaten again.  Perhaps it was time that she went home.

            Tomoyo started to get up when all of a sudden the world around her started to reel and the last thing that Tomoyo remembered before passing out was a strong arm wrapping itself around her back.

            Eriol was watching her.  He had been watching her since she got to the bench and wondered how he would approach her.  He stayed up all night thinking.  He had grown up without a mother, his father had raised him and raised him well, though they weren't without their differences, but regardless, Eriol's father always believed in chivalry and in the gentlemanly manners that have died out in the present world.  The elder Hiiragizawa instilled manners into Eriol's head ever since he was aware of the world around him.  However, he was doubtful as to whether he would remember all that his father had taught him when confronted with the woman before him.  

            Placing his attention back to Tomoyo, he noticed that she had begun waver and realized that she was going to faint.  He sprinted towards her and got there in time to wrap an arm around her to keep her from falling.  He carried her and wondered how come she hasn't gained much weight, despite the fact that she was three months with child.  He felt a black light take over him at the thought of Tomoyo not taking care of _their _child.  But he knew her, knew she would not be so irresponsible, so he shoved the darkness awsay.  Eriol felt like walking all the way to her apartment, to walk off the excess energy, the excess emotions, but realized that he would be given strange looks walking up the street, with an unconscious lady in his arms who could wake up at any moment and start raising hell.  He'd rather she do that in the car rather than in the open.  Accordingly, Eriol walked towards his car and placed her in the back, looking at her sleeping visage.  They were once the best of friends, now look what has become of them.  Eriol frowned at the thought and started to drive.

*****

            Tomoyo woke up lying on her couch.  The last thing she remembered was that she was on the bench near the sea wall and that she had begun feeling dizzy, watching the world spin.  How could she have ended up here?  All of a sudden she bolted straight up and found herself facing the back of Eriol Hiiragizawa standing in front of her balcony window, staring out into the city.  

In her apartment.  

Alone with her. 

"You could hurt yourself getting up that fast you know." His low baritone voice filled the room.  The man didn't even look at her.  "Is there something you would like to tell me Miss Tomoyo?"  

"How did you get in her?" Tomoyo said  

"I have my ways." He replied quietly.  

"You broke in." 

"You wouldn't be able to prove it even if your life depended on it."  He paused for a moment then continued,  "Actually, no, I'll tell you the truth, I used your key since you weren't conscious to use it yourself.   Are you feeling better?"

Tomoyo remained silent because she wanted to curse her present state, but at his inquiry she looked at him curiously before answering a "Yes, Thank you".  She had passed out at the park, and was rescued by none other than Eriol.  Great. Just fabulous. 

"Now is there anything else that you would like to tell me Tomoyo?"

This time he did turn around, and Tomoyo saw something in his eyes resembling something like pain and hurt. 

_He knew_. 

"Yes, I am pregnant, and yes it is your child."  She stood up to face him.

"Are you sure?"

"Damn you." Tomoyo replied savagely.  Anger, molten hot made her see red and erased any guilt that she felt.  How _dare_ him.

"Forgive me, that was out of line.  Your mother came to my house.  She suggested that you and I wed."

"I'll throw you into the pits of hell first." She whispered fiercely.  He regarded her with cold eyes.

"I'd like to see you try my lady."  

And for moments that seemed like hours to both parties, they just stood there staring each other down.  

Tomoyo could not believe it.  Her mother had gone to Eriol's house and probably demanded him to marry her.  Not that he would of course, Eriol just wasn't the marrying type.  She was almost certain of that.  So her mother hadn't let her out of it so easily then, she would have to talk to her and soon. Tomoyo turned and sat back down on the couch, her hands folded on her lap.  Your move, she thought silently to Eriol.

Just like Syaoran when he found out that Tomoyo was pregnant, Eriol started pacing.  In almost the exact same spot too, she thought.  However, the flames in Eriol's eyes were dangerous; it sent a warning signal through Tomoyo's mind.  The man was clearly upset, as he had every right to be.  But she was not going to back down from him just because he was angry.  She would very well meet fire with fire, and the fact that she was feeling really perturbed that he practically waltzed into her apartment practically accused her of lying, fuelled her growing rage.  She was a pregnant woman after all, yet she said nothing and sat there, watching him pace.  

            The _nerve _of her just sitting there, looking strikingly beautiful and accusing him of trespassing when he was left in the dark of the fact that she was carrying a child, _his _very child.   He put his hands behind his back and held them together, for he was afraid that if they were left idle, he would shake her.  

            "Were you planning on leaving me out of this little project of yours Tomoyo?"  Tomoyo's eyes grew cold, and replied in a tone as frosty as her velvet irises. 

            "No, _Professor_, I was planning on telling you, I just did not expect you to take part in it, that is all."  She replied with a shrug.  

That did it.  Eriol's temper broke loose.  He stopped dead in his tracks and glared at her, his mouth in a thin line and his hands clenched so tightly at his sides, he wondered if he would draw blood at any moment.  Tomoyo fancied that any time now, smoke would start coming out of his ears.

            "Damn you Tomoyo! This is my child too, how dare you assume that I would just walk away as you raise _our_ child.  Cursed hell, you should know me better than that.  How could you leave me out for this long? Children need _two_ parents, I hope you know."

            "No, they do not. I turned out perfectly fine thank you."  She retaliated; trying to hide her surprise that Eriol truly did want to be a part of this child's life.  Well then, that would make things just a tad bit more complicated.  Guilt drowned him, almost putting out the fire burning in his blood.  He practically threw in her face the fact that she grew up without a father.  Well, maybe she deserved it, but still, he should take it back.

            "I'm sorry Tomoyo, I didn't mean to…" He started.

            "I don't need your sympathy Eriol."  She got up and started to walk towards the door.  This was taxing on her physical health, and right now, she was not feeling entirely well, her emotions were on a thin wire as well.  She didn't know if she was going to break down in tears or clout the arrogant man over the head. 

            "Hell lady…" He started to walk after her.  This was not over, not by a long shot it wasn't.  "If you think that I am going to leave it at this, you are so wrong, it's almost funny."   He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him.  

            Tomoyo faced him, with her chin up and her back ramrod straight. 

            "It is time for you to leave Professor.  I believe that I am not feeling well."  

"You have put my life in danger you know.  Syaoran knows, no doubt Yukito knows and even Touya knows.  I'm surprised I'm still alive." To both their surprise, he started to laugh.  He laughed because the answer was there right in front of him now. He would not abandon this child, he knew all too well the emptiness that he felt as a child growing up with only one parent after his mother died.  Growing up, he learned to be content with having just his father, and eventually became grateful for his father, but he would not put the child through the loneliness that he felt as a boy.  And simply because he _was _raised as a gentleman, he would not leave the mother of his child either.  It seemed so simple.

            "Sweetheart, if you think that I'm leaving now, you have got another thing coming.  I'm not going to leave this child, even if I have to marry you in the process."  Eriol heard himself spit the words out, but he still could not believe that he said them.  And by the look on Tomoyo's face which paled two shades whiter, curse it all, she was surprised too.

            Tomoyo wanted to back up but his hand was still on her arm and she swore that he was drawing her closer.  She couldn't tell.  After he said the word "marry" the room began to rotate.

            "Eriol."  He felt unsaid satisfaction from being called his given name instead of "professor".  He never realized how much it irked him.  "You don't mean that, I know you don't.  I'm sure we can arrange something.  I don't need you to be there always, and I don't need the guilt of you throwing away your freedom.  Don't think me so weak."  But at this moment she was feeling rather weak, and hated herself for leaning against Eriol's arm.  But she'd damn herself to hell if she fell to the ground in a crumpled heap right in front of him. Again.  He seriously could not mean what he was saying, he would not marry her and she certainly would not marry him.  

Even for this child?  

She could not answer that question because the man in front of her started talking again.  That wasn't the only thing he was doing however.  He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her right up against him.

Odd how she fit so well, he thought. 

            Eriol looked down at her and smiled.  He knew he wasn't thinking straight, knew that he was dealing with something way beyond him, but once Eriol Hiiragizawa set himself to doing something, he saw it through until the end.  He felt a sense of relief of having taken control of this situation.  Oh, he would make this plan work that was for certain.  

Tomoyo couldn't believe this, the man was laughing, but not through his mouth, but through his eyes.  He looked like he had discovered El Dorado* or something of the like.  Not to mention that the nearness of him was making her heart go into over drive.  All of a sudden, she had a feeling of déja-vu.  She had felt this way before.  

The nearness of this man, beating of her heart.  

But that was all she could remember, she knew it had to be _that _night, but she could not remember anything past waking up in his bed the next morning.  She snapped out of her thoughts as she realized that this was no memory of what happened in a time gone by, this was now and her body was not being cooperative because her knees wanted to fold in under her, and she knew she was on the verge of blacking out. Tomoyo had no choice but to brace her hands against Eriol's broad shoulders. 

Damn it, damn it, damn it, _damn it_, she cursed herself for being a pregnant woman at this moment. What on earth could he be thinking?  It was just her luck that her body decided to betray her and abandon ship at this moment.

Eriol was looking at her, watching her, wondering how she would react.  Her face remained expressionless, giving away nothing.  She was always good at doing that though, he thought.  All of a sudden, he thought that she was going to faint and just as quickly he found that she was holding onto him.  

Interesting. 

"Tomoyo, we made this child together, and by all means, we will raise it together." He said without preamble.   

Tomoyo quickly dropped her arms, grateful that she remained standing and looked him squarely in the eyes.

"Eriol Hiiragizawa, how _dare _you assume that I would just marry you because my mother said so, or because _you _think that I have no other choice, because I assure you that I do.  I'm not a cornered animal Professor, nor am I helpless." She continued to glare at him.   

 "No?" He raised an eyebrow.  Both his arms, wrapped around her now, tightened and pulled her close, contradicting her comment.  "I beg you to reconsider," he whispered and with no other warning, Eriol covered her lips with his in a kiss that he hoped told her that she would have no other choice but to.

**Tsuzuku**

**A/N** Woo hoo! Less than a month in updating. Hahahahaha. Thank you guys again for enjoying this, believe me I enjoy writing this. Oh and _ElDorado_ was starred just so I could explain that it was a city of gold. Heeeee.  Luckily I won't need a Third Month: Part three. Hahahah off to Fourth Month, but school is around the corner, so I have to see how I can do this. Don't worry, I won't abandon it. ****places hand over heart** **Scout's honor!  BTW, I am half asleep by the time I got to the last half of this chapter, and I haven't gotten around to editing it properly, but I will upload it nonetheless and edit it later, please forgive me! 

Now edited! But certainly far from perfect. Hontou ni arigatou gozaimashita.


	6. Fourth Month: Part One

**Disclaimer:** Ladies of CLAMP own Cardcaptor Sakura and everything incorporated with the series, and knowing that pen is mightier than the sword, we don't want to anger these women ^.^ (that is why we all have Timeshare on Kamui!)

_Fourth Month_

He didn't mean to draw her close, he didn't mean to take in the scent of her, which reminded him of sunshine and wildflowers, he did not know what he meant by proposing marriage to her and he certainly was out of his mind for even thinking about kissing her.  But all the "what ifs" in Eriol's head disappeared the moment his lips touched hers.  Instinctively he tightened his hold around her waist as his mouth moved over hers, deepening it, looking for…for what?  

She felt as if the world stopped, as if her brain had left her body.  Here she was in _her_ living room being kissed by Eriol Hiiragizawa.  

And what was she doing?  She had her hands fisted in his shirt.  

_What the hell? _

He stopped and drew back only slightly, his forehead leaning against hers.  

            At least he wasn't the only one out of breath.  

            Tomoyo was the first one to come to her senses and she backed away from his grasp.  Eriol had not choice but to let go.  Her being that close was wreaking havoc on his ever so practical mind.  What on earth was happening to him?  Her temper, her stubbornness and her pride would definitely drive him insane, it certainly did at that moment, but would it always lead to her being in his arms every time she got on his nerve?  

This was not good.  

But nor would he back out on his word.  

She was raging inside, she wanted to scream at him, throw something at him, verbally berate him for being such a sad excuse for his kind, but she could not do anything, she was frozen.  Then he reached out and twined his fingers between hers and looked at her and she knew that this was not a good idea because despite her fury, she could not even pull her hands away from his.  

His heart was still racing and he was not all too sure whether he was thinking straight, but he would go through with it.  Why couldn't he keep three feet away from her while doing so?

            "Tomoyo, marry me.  I'm not asking for much, just a marriage of convenience.  For this child."  And as to prove his point, he placed his other hand against her barely rounded belly where a little child slept.

            "Eriol," She whispered, "Please, you don't have to do this.  I won't take this child away from you, I would never do that, but please don't give up your freedom and don't make me give up mine, not for my sake, not even for this child's sake.  In the end it will be a broken home."

            Eriol had nothing to say to that, and his silence urged Tomoyo on. 

            "I know you Eriol, you're not the type to just settle down and marry, especially under these circumstances."

            She was right, he knew she was right, but something in him wanted to prove her wrong.  Not to mention that the thought of stealing more kisses from her was appealing.  He had to admit it, if only to his own self, that her kiss did something to him that no other woman has ever accomplished.  It warmed him from the inside out.  

Tomoyo in his arms, protecting her.  Her soft body against his.  

'Snap out of it Eriol,' He berated himself. 'Stop thinking, just stop thinking altogether or else you may end up in the same situation three months ago.'  That thought struck him down to the very core.  The truth was, Tomoyo attracted him very much, and perhaps, just maybe Nakuru was right and that flame he held for her so many years back was something more than infatuation.  But now, he was standing before her, asking for her hand.  He was willing to give up his freedom.  No more flings, no more rendezvous, no more paramours.  What was he doing? He was confused, completely confused and if he didn't say anything or do anything, Tomoyo may just talk him out of his own proposal.  

            "Really Eriol, think about what you're asking for me to do, what you are making yourself do.  Do you really see us together in the future?"

            "I'm not asking for forever, I said we'd raise this child, even if it's for only a couple of years.  I want him or her to have a real family and I don't want to tell him when he grows up that we didn't try."

            Tomoyo looked at him sceptically.  

            "How many years are you asking?"

            "Three at the most."  He dropped his hands at his side and looked straight into her eyes and, if she'd let herself admit it, straight into her soul.  He was giving her what she always dreamed of.  A family of her very own, a father for her child, a husband at her side.  But she knew that it could only be temporary.  Eventually Eriol would bore of her and look for someone else and she knew, even though her feelings for him at this moment was a mix of things she couldn't comprehend, she knew that she would not be able to handle that well.  The fact that her father left her mother made Tomoyo grow up determined that her children would be raised with two parents.  If the biological father of this particular child would not stay, she would have eventually found someone to love, someone to accept this child as his own.  But now, Eriol was asking her something that she never would have thought he would ask.  But he had put a time limit to it.  

Suddenly she was angry and it made her see red.  Tomoyo overlooked the fact that it was she who asked the question and acted before speaking. She drew her fist back and punched him in the gut.  He only grunted his displeasure, damn solid body. 

            "That was uncalled for Tomoyo." He gritted out.  

She punched him.  She actually punched him. She did not know who was more shocked, him or her.

            "No. That kiss was uncalled for, that proposal was _absolutely _uncalled for. For God's sake Eriol, just leave and sort this scattered up brain of yours because clearly you have taken leave of your senses."

            "Oh dear, I think I interrupted something." Sakura stepped through the threshold.  Having found the door unlocked, she welcomed herself in, heard the last part of that last exchange from her cousin and found Eriol and Tomoyo head to head.  Tomoyo's eyes afire and Eriol's as cool as ice.  _Curious._  

            Tomoyo almost began to weep with relief.  Reinforcement.  Thank _God._  Surely Eriol would not want Sakura to know of his poorly influenced idea of marrying her.

            Eriol smiled at Sakura.

            "You're looking well today Sakura.  How is my god-son?"

            "Growing up way too fast." Sakura returned his smile.  "I was interrupting something wasn't I?  Sorry. I'll come back later."  Tomoyo was about to yell after her, afraid of what would come out of the unpredictable Eriol Hiiragizawa's mouth if she didn't speak fast, but Eriol spoke first.

            "Do not worry Sakura, I just had to ask Tomoyo here something" 

On the word "something", Eriol took Tomoyo's left hand and lightly squeezed it.

 "And now I will leave to let her ponder over it."  

            Tomoyo was too appalled to move the she didn't even budge when on passing by her on the way out the door Eriol bent his head and gave her a kiss on the head and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.  

Oh she was going to _kill _him and if her body would've listened to her head at that moment, she did not doubt that the arrogant man would be on the floor at that moment, rendered unconscious by the lamp near the sofa. Sakura found herself gaping what was happening and what just passed.  She did not need the words from either party to know what he asked her.

_Oh my dear God, this is not happening.  This is one of those lack- of-sleep induced dreams.  Wolf was right; I'm worrying too much._

            So as Eriol sauntered out the door, both the ladies that he left behind were agape.  

            'Your move' Eriol smirked to himself.

            "Tomoyo…Did he just do what I think he just did?  Am I dreaming?"  She thrust her arm out in front of Tomoyo.  "Pinch me."

            Tomoyo just lowered her arm away from her and ran straight for the door.  Sticking her head out she screamed after him.

            "If you ever step foot through this door again, I swear you will not come out unscathed, so help me God! Do you hear me?!  You're lucky you can still walk you sonofa…!" 

            Sakura ran to the door and started to pull Tomoyo inside.

            "Tomoyo, Tomoyo, stop.  Think of the baby, think of the baby. Shhh.  This cannot be good for either of you."  

            "I'm going to dismember him!" 

            "Uh, no honey, you don't want to do that.'

            "The _hell_ I don't!"

            "Shhh, sit down.  Yes, right here. Okay now breathe."  Sakura practically had to push Tomoyo down on the couch she was so stiff.

            "I tried to be gentle, I tried to be understanding, I tried not to kick is ego down the gutter. But _no!_ He's impossible.  He thinks that he can just waltz in here and ask me to marry him and think that I would…._augh!_   Oh, _Mother_ has some questions to answer.  Yes she does."  She groaned.  "I hate this! I have thoughts that want to do one thing and a body that doesn't want to do _anything_.  I swear Sakura, this is going to be the end of me!"  

She started to get up again, but Sakura kept her down by grasping her shoulder.  

            "You're not going anywhere now, especially at the state you're in. So you're going to stay here and rest or else I'm calling Wolf to come and look after you while I go talk to Aunt Sonomi."  

            Tomoyo sat back down and began to pout.  

"You're such a Hitler." She muttered.

Of course this behaviour of hers is terribly below her maturity level, but she was beyond mature thinking right now.  What did he think she was going to do, jump into his arms and thank him for asking her to marry him?  She was not a rental vehicle that one rides then returns when they're done and tired with it or just because they've done their purpose.  She was a human being damn it, with a child growing within her and a heart beating in her chest and feelings that rule her actions.  

The latter Sakura knew all too well and if Eriol was not serious, she would make her displeasure known to him and let Tomoyo go at him with a baseball bat.  

Eventually, Tomoyo relaxed against the sofa and released a long sigh.  

"Oh Sakura…" She closed her eyes and sighed again.

"I know Tomoyo, I know." Sakura reached for her cousin's hand and held it.  For a few moments they just sat there against the sofa with their eyes closed, not saying anything.  

Tomoyo's mind was sending her images all of a sudden.  One moment, she was filled with confusion, enthrallment, anger and excitement then all these feelings faded off into a grey mist and she was left to standing alone in a place that she may have been before once, but never would want to revisit again.  The last thing that she remembered was hearing Sakura call her name but she was to tired to respond and once again she drifted.   

The unpleasant, but fleeting, feeling of nostalgia left her replaced by a memory that warmed her heart and made her rest easy.

"Remember what I told you Tomoyo" Her mother looked at her. 

            _"Yes Mama, I know, I know…"_

_            "I know it seems odd but, but this is the only thing that I want you to remember, when you leave, no one will be there to watch your back. Don't let anyone use you.  Drink all you want, smoke all you want, but please, please don't wake up in bed with someone, if you know what I mean."_

_            "Mama, I believe you have only proven yourself only more insane than before." Tomoyo laughed.  "I will not drink, I will not smoke, and heaven forbid, I will NOT wake up in bed with some man next to me."_

_            "Well you know daughter, insanity DOES run in the Daidouji line."  Both mother and daughter laughed and embraced as Tomoyo bid farewell._

Tomoyo woke up in her bed.  This passing out thing was getting to be a habit.  Sakura was there next to her, Syaoran standing beside her.  

            "How are you feeling?"  

            Tomoyo smiled up at them.

            "I had a dream.  The day when I left to study abroad, I was with Mom."  She began to slowly sit up.  Suddenly the tears were there as she recalled her mother's words.

            "She told me that I could drink all I want and smoke all I want." Tomoyo stopped to smile amidst her tears.  "But she told me not to wake up in a man's bed, or have a man in my bed.  Oh god, I feel like such a failure and she forgave me, but she must have been so disappointed."  

            Sakura sat next to Tomoyo, and arm around her cousin's shoulder.  

            "Sakura, I have to marry him, not because of how I feel, not because of how he feels, but egad, I never thought I'd say this, but Eriol is right.  It has to be for this child, and so I can somehow make it up to Mom."

"Ahhh, so the bastard asked for your hand I see."  Those were the first words that Syaoran spoke ever since Tomoyo regained consciousness.

            Sakura shot him a look.

            Syaoran sent her a charming smile.

            Sakura turned to her cousin, ignoring her husband. 

"Tomoyo, listen, your mother will understand, I mean sure she barged into the man's house and practically threatened him into marrying you, but surely, your happiness is first and foremost in her mind. If you're going to be miserable married to the man, then don't.  Hell, I'd forbid it."

            Syaoran hid a smile at his wife's last few words.  She so rarely used words like that unless of course he was annoying her.

            "I want this baby to have a family, even if it is only for a little while. I have to stop being selfish, its no longer just my life"

            "A little while?" Syaoran gave Tomoyo a funny look.  Sakura looked at her husband and subtly shook her head.  What the arrangements were and how they are supposed to pass was between Eriol and Tomoyo.  Syaoran understood and kept quiet.  For now.  

            Tomoyo looked at her cousins and smiled again. 

            "You guys can go off now, I'll just rest here for awhile.  Yukito said it was okay to have fainting spells every once in awhile.  I'll be okay."

            Sakura patted her hand and kissed her cheek.  

            "Call us, for anything."

            "Thank you."

            After they had left, Tomoyo glanced at her watch.  It read 3 o'clock and she thought about all the damage that has already been done.  If she was going to confess if only to herself, she'd admit that Eriol Hiiragizawa's presence in the same room affected her.  How?  Well, she would not dwell on that.  Admitting it was enough.

            'I can't believe he kissed me' She grimaced as she formed that thought.  There was a voice in her head the retaliated,

'You _did_ kiss him back you know. Besides its not as if that's unknown territory'   
Tomoyo just groaned, fell back into bed and throwing a pillow over her face screamed out all her frustration and anger and confusion until she could not breath anymore.  That voice in her head would have to go.   Staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours on end, finally she spoke to the empty room,

"I'll marry him." 

And not for the first time in her life she buried herself under the covers and wished the world away.

*****

            Nakuru came home and found her brother pacing in his office.  It reminded her of the night she found him in his office, as still as a stone, staring off into nothing, only this time, he was the complete opposite.  She felt that if he didn't get whatever that was bothering him out soon, he'd throw that globe of his over the terrace. That wasn't new. There have been many times when Eriol, through his fit of anger and frustration, has thrown objects out of the window.  Miraculously, no one has been hit by him because he wasn't looking at where he was throwing, if he were, well, we'll just say that Eriol is a marksman, and what he aims for he hits.  Whatever he was aiming for today, it seems like he missed.  Nakuru sighed; she had a fondness for that globe and didn't want to see it thrown out the window.  Time for some damage control.  Strolling into the office, she ignored her fuming guardian and sat down behind his desk, just observing him for a few moments.

            "How was your day today?" She asked him, cheerful, ignoring the fact that he clearly looked as if he had a bad day.  He didn't stop pacing, but he spoke, words that Nakuru certainly did not expect.

            "I _kissed_ her." 

            Nakuru guffawed.

            "You _what_?!"

            "After I asked her to marry me."  He walked up against a wall and leaned on it.  It was truly and exhausting day. He looked at Nakuru and thought that she would fall off the chair.

            "After you _what_?!"

            "Aren't you listening to a single word that I'm saying?" He replied.  He did not want to have to repeat things, specifically, the events of this day, though there was a voice in his head that objected, telling him he would not mind a bit if he were to kiss the fiery Tomoyo again.  Bad thoughts, _bad_ thoughts, he scolded himself.

            "Egads!  What on earth am I going to do with you? What did she do?"

            "She punched me in the gut."  That comment earned a smirk from his sister.  Eriol sighed.

            "Can't blame the girl."  That comment earned a shot from the man leaning on the wall.  "So do you regret the words that you spilled before the fair Tomoyo's feet?"  Eriol ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end.

            "Either way, it is too late to regret.  I said my peace and I will keep my word."  Nakuru did not doubt him.  In all the years that she's known him, Eriol has never broken a promise.  His word, when he gave it, was as solid as the floor that they stood on.  It was one of the qualities that she admired about him, but it was also a flaw because it made him so stubborn and hard headed that she sometimes wanted to smash his head in.

            "She said no didn't she?"

            "That is her answer for the time being."  He resumed his pacing, though it was a little less energetic. 

            "You plan to change that?"

            "Yes."

            "Even if you have to seduce her again?"  If looks could kill, Nakuru would be on the floor; Eriol shot her a look so cold and almost made her shudder.

            "I did _not _seduce her." He gritted out the words.  Nakuru raised an eyebrow.

            "No?"

            "Damnit Nakuru, I don't have to answer to you." 

            "No, you don't, but the Lady Tomoyo may have questions.  She knows nothing is that right?"

            "She doesn't remember what happened."

            "And you do?"  Eriol stopped and looked at her, she'll know everything eventually, but she'd have to wait a bit longer.

            "This conversation is closed Nakuru.  I am going to bed." And with that he walked out the door.

            "Sweet dreams onii-chan" 

Nakuru watched her brother leave and recalled the last conversation that they had concerning Eriol.  He said that he just couldn't see himself married to the Daidouji heiress.  Nakuru remembered when they were abroad for a few years doing so of Eriol's studies and they bumped into Tomoyo in England.  Nakuru saw the look in her brother's eyes when he set his eyes on her again after so many years when he left the elementary school that they went to together.   Eriol said nothing, but she knew he felt _something._  The sable haired girl sighed at the memories.  What made Eriol change his mind? That must have one hell of a kiss. Things would only get more interesting in the next few months.  Well, she'd have herself a sister-in-law soon, of that she was certain of.  

*****

A week had gone by since that day.  Tomoyo stayed home and pondered and thought and decided finally that the marriage of convenience that Eriol proposed to her was not so horrible an idea.  She still had not confronted her mother about what she did, barging into the Hiiragizawa Mansion and pulling the proverbial rug from beneath the owner's feet.  She would confront Eriol and accept his crazy proposal, but first she would let her emotions cool, her frustration and her annoyance towards his behaviour settle before facing that man again.  She just hope that he really didn't try to set foot through that door for his health's sake and for her sanity's own sake.  She figured that if they stayed away from the same vicinity for some time, they'd be able to sort this out in a mature, logical manner.  She'd seek him when she was good and ready.  It's not as if his house is something one can easily miss anyway.  She stood before the mirror, looking at her now more visible belly. Then from out of nowhere, she heard the words her mother often told her whenever she was faced with something she felt she couldn't handle:

_"Courage, child."_

 She smiled knowing that no matter the outcome of this outrageous…whatever this was…she knew that she would not be alone.  Not any more.  

tsuzuku 

**A/N** Hello! ~waves~ I don't deserve any forgiveness for leaving this for so long ^.^;;;.  Err, four months to be exact.  But know no matter what, no matter how long this takes.  I will finish it, this and Kimi wo Sagashiteita .  I simply want to express my thanks.    Happy Holidays!! It is par-TAY time!


	7. Fourth Month II: In Name Only

**Disclaimer:** CCS, characters, storyline and so on and so forth are and will always be the property of CLAMP, but it can't be helped if I'm holding Syaoran for ransom hee hee hee.

**Fourth Month: **_In Name Only (part 2)_

Eriol had stayed as much away from Tomoyo as Tomoyo did from him since that day.  His worry was not because he would be physically harmed, thought it was an increasing possibility that he would be, no, his was more of a basic nature, simple man that he was.  He was attracted to Tomoyo, he was no fool and he would not deny this.  As he found out through experience, to hide it from your own conscience only meant that the dreams would be ten times worst.  Furious little Tomoyo.  She would come around, even if he risked having her in his arms again.  Eriol shook his head.  No, that should not happen again, it only infuriates the woman and would make things a whole lot more complicated, but he sensed that she felt something as well.  This was interesting.  Cursed woman, things would have been more simple if he was a cold hearted bastard.  

Nakuru cornered him again today while he was finishing off his afternoon tea in the dining room, it seemed as if his sister had nothing better to do but hound him.  When she asked as to whether he knew what had happened that night, he hadn't answered.  He didn't answer because he couldn't answer.  He did not remember what happened that night.  What he remembers waking up and seeing Tomoyo in his bed early in the morning, but he did not say or do anything, he did not wake her up and to his utter surprise, he wasn't as shocked as he knew he should have been upon finding a _naked_ Tomoyo in his bed.  He prayed that nothing had happened and that in the morning, all would be solved but he knew from what his satisfied body was telling him that _something_ did happen and now, four months later, he was five months away from becoming a father.  The fates do like to tinker with him don't they?

"When you marry Tomoyo you better not go off traipsing to your little paramours."  Eriol came this close to pouring the glass of water he had in his hand over the meddling girl's head.  Paramour, he scoffed.  He did not have any of those at present, but he would not make excuses like that to Nakuru.

"Listen little girl, I don't know where you get these words and why you use them at any given chance and usually at me.  But I can't believe you of all people would think that I would be an unfaithful husband!"

"You are a man."

"And you are far more precocious than I raised you to be." He countered.  "I will be faithful to the woman that I marry for as long as I am married to her.  Doubt that not."

"Fine, fine.  But answer me; what made you change your mind about marrying Miss Tomoyo?  I remember a few weeks back that you wanted nothing to do with the word matrimony and the bonds that would tie a man down to one woman for the rest of his life.  By the way, you also didn't see it the other way around.  You are tying Tomoyo down to you for the rest of her life as well."

"I said three years."

"You insensitive fool."  

"I beg your pardon?"

"You don't realize that when a woman marries, she wants it for forever."

"_You_ don't realize the nature in which why we are marrying!"  He started to pace in the dining room.  Nakuru groaned inside, he didn't answer her question and now they were on to another topic. 'Egads, here we go'

"Brother, you are getting far too ahead of yourself, last time you told me, the lady in question denied your offer not to mention, she struck you because of the absurdity of it all."

"She will come around.  After all, her mother is the one who suggested, I am just honoring what her mother asked of me." He returned to his seat.

"That is the boldfaced lie Eriol Hiiragizawa!  And don't get cocky, it does not suit you" 

"I am not getting 'cocky' and it's a half lie."  Nakuru turned to leave her brother in peace, but as always, had to have the last word in.

"I've said this before, but you seem to forget sometimes.  You are in over your head Eriol, you are dealing with the Daidouji family."

"Don't need to remind me." He replied underneath his breath. 

*****

Eriol dreamt that night, a dark dream.  He could only hear a woman's voice, frightened and full of tears.  A quiet cry for help and soft sobs.  He had a feeling of déjà vu and felt that he never wanted to be in this place again.  Feelings of anger, helplessness, fury and frustration filled him to the point that he felt that he couldn't breathe.  He only had one course of action in mind and that was to find her, to find her and hold her and make certain nothing ever happened to her again.  Her who? His mind asked.  His body was moving but his mind was in utter chaos, not knowing or understanding.  His dream shifted and he found himself in a dark room, the sobs were clearer and he knew she was near.  As if magic, moonlight flowed through an unnoticed window and he saw in a corner, a huddled figure, her knees drawn up, held together by her arms, her head buried in her chest and her hair spilling around her shoulders, as if trying to clothe her the best it can.  Quietly he walked towards her, not wanting to frighten her.  The closer he got the more he realized that she was naked and dirt marred her originally porcelain skin.  The blood in his veins ran ice cold.  

"Shhh sweetheart.  I promise I won't harm you." His voice above a whisper, as soothing as he could make it.  She moved her head at the sound of his voice, but he couldn't make out her face, covered by shadow and her hair.  In a cracked and strained voice, a voice he could barely make out, he heard the words.

"I know."  Then she fell to the side limp, exhausted and to Eriol's relieved heart, which stopped for a whole second when she fell, only unconscious.  He could hear her breathing and sense her heart beating.  She was not dead.  Before he could rush to her he found himself staring at his ceiling.  He was back in his own bed, in his own house.  No longer night, but morning.  No longer in some dark room with barely any windows, but his own where his large windows allowed November sunlight to pour in.

            He ran a hand through his tousled hair and slowly got out of bed, his mind disoriented, and walked to a window, opening it, hoping that the cold winter air would make him snap out of it.  It had felt so real, and he felt that it had really happened.  He was sure that he would remember something like that if it truly had happened, but what on this earth could trigger such a dream?  He remembered the emotions washing over him in his dream, the woman in the corner, helpless and frightened, but at the sound of his voice, responded with hope. 

            Long ago, he found that his dreams were not to be ignored, despite how insignificant they were.  They affected his life whenever he heeded them.  Such was part of having the soul of a sorcerer.  Little knew of this of course, just Nakuru, Syaoran, Sakura and Tomoyo.   He so seldom fell back on his past life as any excuse to decide how he lived his present one and it rarely did affect his life now.  Except when it really mattered, and at this moment, he just couldn't shake the fact that that dream did matter.  He just couldn't shake off this odd feeling.  He continued to stand there, staring out of the windows, looking at the brilliant blue sky, not a cloud for miles. He looked at the frost that had accumulated on the lawn and on the nearly bare trees, and felt nothing was amiss save his most disturbing night.  Looking at the clock on his dresser, he realized that it was already 12:30 in the afternoon.  Thank goodness it was Saturday.  He supposed that Nakuru had gone out again since she heard no sounds coming from any part of his house.  Suddenly he felt something warm and furry walk over his feet and realized that Spinal had let himself in his room.  Nakuru must have checked on him before she left because he never left the door ajar.  Eriol picked up the cat in his arms.

            "Morning Spinel, or Good Afternoon, I should say.  Did the nosey lady decide to give us some peace?"  The cat purred and Eriol chuckled. He neglected to put his shirt on because he was the only one in the house for the time being, besides, despite that it was almost winter, the house was warm, despite its large size.  So with only his pajama bottoms on and cat in hand, he decided to go down to the kitchen and make some lunch.  Over the railing he noticed a figure heading up the stairs and realized with some surprise that it was Tomoyo Daidouji.  'How the hell did she get in?' He silently wondered.

He noticed that within a week and a half, her stomach has become quite obvious.  It is after all her fourth month.  Strange that he would actually know that.  

Before he could act towards his unexpected guest, he found himself face to face with her, for she had already reached the top of the stairs.  For a pregnant woman, she was fast.

  "Good Afternoon" He smiled.  Smiling he was because he noticed that Tomoyo noticed that he was without a shirt.  It was most improper to greet a lady half clothed, this he knew, but he found entertainment in watching the proud Daidouji blush.  Tomoyo released an exasperated sigh.  

"Good Afternoon.  Your sister said that you would be in your office."  Tomoyo could say nothing more and had to use all her willpower to try to not let her eyes roam over his chest.  Easier said than done.  'He knows' She thought.  She wanted out of there.  She was here to talk about his offer, but not in his present state!  "I also suggest you get some clothes on before you catch a cold."

"Worried are we?"

"Not a bit.  For Nakuru who will have to nurse you back to health while you whine and complain. Yes."

"Hm." And with a wink turned around and headed back into his room to shower and change, a smirk on his face.  

Tomoyo walked back downstairs.  She rang the doorbell half an hour ago and was welcomed by the sable haired girl she saw a few weeks back. She now felt utterly ridiculous for feeling something akin to jealousy when she saw her jump into Eriol's arms.  Jealousy because of what? She hadn't figured it out yet, but there it was.  It was Nakuru, Eriol's adopted little sister, not so little anymore, that was for sure.  She figured guys came on their hands and knees at her beck and call, but over all, the years hadn't changed the cheerful Nakuru, if anything, she was a bit more perceptive.

"Miss Tomoyo! Good morning!"  Pulling the somewhat shocked Tomoyo into a tight embrace.  "Why this is a surprise. Come on in."  Tomoyo smiled in return as Nakuru continued to cheerfully ask about her health.  "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing alright, I can't really complain" Nakuru then bent down to Tomoyo's belly and said in a little baby voice,

"And how are _you _doing?"  Tomoyo just laughed.  There was no pretence when it came to Nakuru, being around her easy-going attitude was very comforting for Tomoyo, which is more than she could say about Nakuru's brother.

"Is Eriol home?"

"Yes yes, he should be upstairs in his office by now.  He was asleep when I checked on him an hour ago, but he isn't the type to sleep in too late so he should be up and about by now.   Actually I was just on my way out, Eriol should be down for his lunch any minute now, you just try to feel at home and I'll be back as soon as I can." 

 And with that, Nakuru was out of the house and Tomoyo was left alone in the vast entrance hallway.  Tomoyo made her way to the living room, barely noticing the windows, the vaulted ceilings, the paintings, the mirrors, the piano and the chandeliers.  She'd been here too often in her days past to feel dwarfed by the Hiiragizawa Mansion, not to mention that the Daidouji Manor pretty much equaled it in size.  So she sat on the nearest chair and waited. And waited and waited.  Then she realized that this pregnancy sliced her patience right in half.  So she decided to make her way up the large, curving stairway up to the second floor to tell Eriol that she was here.  She didn't know why she didn't think of that in the first place, after all, the man didn't even know that she was here.  Silly girl.

The next thing she knew, she was face to face with a bare-chested Eriol, just roused from sleep, his hair disheveled, with a black ball of fur in his arm, a boyish grin on his face and an amused sparkle in his eyes as he looked at her.  

_Well hell. _

She wanted to pummel him.  If she didn't know better, he was flaunting is flawless frame before her, but no, he really was just out of bed because the glasses that rarely left his face were not on now and, God save her, those blue eyes of his were bluer without those spectacles.  In the future, definitely come well past the afternoon, she noted. Or call.  She didn't know why, but she woke up and decided that she would talk to him, she didn't even think about calling first and confirming a time or place.  It was one of those 'act now, think later' moments.  Well it was later, and she certainly wasn't thinking.  The man was certainly a distraction. 

*****

            Eriol whistled as he got ready and wondered what brought Tomoyo to his place after they've been avoiding each other for the past two weeks.  Impractical thoughts started to flit in and out of his head.  Perhaps she was here to say that she wanted nothing to do with him and wanted this child of theirs to have nothing to do with him.  He scratched that off as absolutely ridiculous because Tomoyo, he knew, had a heart.  

A stubborn and proud one, but a heart nonetheless.  

Quickly throwing on a dark blue polo, buttoning it from the bottom up and gray slacks, he took the stairs down two at a time.  It was, after all, impolite to make a lady wait.  By the time he got downstairs, he only had three of the six buttons down, pausing awhile, he finished the rest.  He found Tomoyo staring out one of the windows in the living room.  What he didn't notice was that she eyed him as he made his way down the stairs, buttoning up his shirt.  Distractions indeed.

"Sorry about that." He started, startling her out of her feigned fascination of the now quiet garden outside the window.. 

"I should have called." She replied, standing up, still grateful that her stomach wasn't quite so big that she needed help getting up or that it wasn't churning at the moment, which usually meant that she would have to make a break for the washroom.  

"Would you like to go into the office?  I would offer the garden, but it is November, and I certainly wouldn't like to have you catch a cold."  Always the gentleman, Tomoyo wryly thought not missing what he meant by that last comment.

"The office will do."  Eriol felt uncomfortable.  This was all too formal, all too emotionless except for Tomoyo's initial reaction to his bedraggled state when she reached the top of the stairs. 

"I'm sorry I just let myself in.  Nakuru said she'd be right back and was certain that you'd be awake by now."  She spoke as they made their way up the stairs.

"Usually I am.  I just had a hard night."  She noticed that something flashed in his eyes when he mentioned the last few words.  Dreams.  They were fickle things, this she knew.

"I see." And that was all that passed between them until they reached to the office.

            Once seated, Tomoyo started without preamble.  

            "Professor, I've decided to accept your offer."   

            Eriol was surprised but he did not let himself show it.  Instead he bit his tongue because all of a sudden he felt a bit lighter and wanted to laugh.  This was no laughing matter and he knew that if he let his amusement show, Tomoyo would level him there and then, regardless of the fact that she was pregnant.  Instead he kept his head down on his lap, waited a second for the moment to pass and then looked up at her eyes, which almost looked indigo in the afternoon light.  He smiled, that boyish grin of his and said only one thing.

            "Thank you."

            "Only in name."

            "Of course, but you must understand that it would make sense if we stayed under the same roof if we are to share the same name.  That, and you can no longer call me professor or doctor no matter how angry you are with me" He smiled.

            "Oh okay on both."  She paused and thought.  Months; years in the same roof as Eriol Hiiragizawa.  That was sure to get dangerous.  She eyed him intensely.  "I will expect that you will be the gentleman that I know you are?"  Eriol sighed.

            "Look, Tomoyo…" He wasn't able to finish his statement because Tomoyo did not give him time to answer.

            "And I have one more condition."  

            Eriol stopped and looked at her, wondering.

            "Not three years Eriol, it is not fair to either you or me. I will agree to one."

            "I disagree."

            "Eriol, we're both doing this for this child's sake, not ours.  It would be, as I said before, unfair to you or me."

            "Until our child turns one." 

            That stopped Tomoyo.  He really was willing to give this family business a try.  Twenty-one months of co-existence.  Then what?  

            "Fine.  Then what?"

            "We'll face it when it comes."  He paused and then spoke again, a question curious to him.  "Do you suppose that love will be a factor?"

            "_Baaa-ka_!"  Using her native tongue, Tomoyo got up and started pacing.  Strange, he was always the pacer, not the observer. She stopped and faced him.  "We are friends, we have been friends for years.  We are getting married out of convenience.  If we were to fall in love, we would have done so years ago.  Besides, I know your type and I'm not one of them."

            "I suppose you're right. I was just curious.  Do you remember what happened that night?"  He saw Tomoyo go rigid as she sat herself back down.

"Just feelings, both bad and odd feelings, nothing concrete. You?"

"I'm afraid not, everything is a blur."  And he meant every word.  He hid this from Nakuru and Sonomi because he knew that somehow they would not believe him.  Honestly, he could not believe it himself.

"How can neither of us remember a thing?!" Tomoyo spoke out in frustration.

"I would like to know the same thing." He replied softly.

"Are you sure you don't remember anything?" She asked

"Oh I remember things alright, but as to what led to _those things_, I'm at a loss I'm afraid."

"Oh be quiet."  She glared at him and got a smirk in return.

"You asked."

An awkward silence followed after.  They faced each other, not really seeing the other person; they were so deep in thought.

            "You know this will be sudden for a lot of our friends."  Tomoyo finally spoke.

            "Oh let them be shocked.  I do so love surprising people."  The smile was back on his lips again.  It really was a devastating smile.

            "They'll have questions."

            "My dear, you and I are two of the best liars in this fair city. I'm sure we can conjure something up."

            "Ha. I'd like to see you try to get past Touya."   That shut Eriol up for a moment.  Finally he said.

            "For him, we'll have to settle for the truth.  I want to be in the hospital to help you deliver this child, not because I'm in ICU, thank you."  That got a smile out of her reminding her that even if he weren't the father, as a friend, he'd be there by her side.  For a moment they sat there smiling at each other, reminiscent of the days when they were friends and things were not this complicated.

            "So, it's settled then?" She held her hand out across the desk to shake his.  Eriol eyed the hand before him and tilted his head to the side.

            "Shall we seal it with a kiss?" 

            "Hiiragizawa, don't bait me else you'll be sorry." She growled.  

            "All in jest Tomoyo. I promise."  He stood and took her hand, but did not shake it.  He just held it for a moment and then bent his head, lightly touching his mouth to her smooth skin.  Before Tomoyo could pull her hand away, he let it go.  She then stood up.

            "Wait." Eriol spoke.  "Just one moment. Stay here, I have to go get something."  And with a hand in his pocket, he sauntered out of the room.  Before Tomoyo could even conjure up a decent thought that had nothing to do with violence towards the man who was clearly teasing her, said man walked back in the room with a box in his hand.  Closing the distance between them he opened it before her.  The content of the box took her breath away; all agitated feelings were washed away by the brilliant sparkle from within the box.  

            A princess cut, one and a half-carat diamond solitaire set in a pale gold.

            "It was my grandmother's.  Now it is yours."

            "Eriol, no I can't. This belongs to the one who will truly be your wife, the one who you give your heart to, not because you have an obligation towards her."  Eriol shrugged at this.

            "At the moment, you're the closest thing to that, so I'll keep it with you for the time being.  But rest assured, once I find this someone that you speak of, I'll be quick to ask for its return.  Now wear it without protest unless you want me to kiss your mouth shut"

            "Do that, and you won't be able to walk for a week."

"I'll risk that."

            "Two weeks.  Remember Hiiragizawa, we'll be under the same roof for a long period of time.  I want to make sure we come out of this alive.  It won't help if one of this child's parents is missing a limb or two."

            "I don't do well with threats Miss Daidouji."

            "Then don't give me reason to threaten you Hiiragizawa."

            "I'll try.  No promises though." Reaching for her left hand, he placed the ring on the appropriate finger.  "It suits you."

            "Something this beautiful would suit even the ugliest of women."  She noticed that he still hadn't let go of her hand; he just lowered it, but held on to it.  

            "Well then, lets hope that this _true_ wife of mine that you say I'll find one day is the ugliest of women just so I can see how the beauty of this ring affects her own."  Tomoyo just rolled your eyes.

            "So do you want to tell my mother?"  Knowing the reaction that would get out of him.

            "Are you mad?!"

            "Well, it was she who suggested it to you."

            "Oh so that gives you every reason to make me walk straight into the tiger's den."

            "Give over Eriol, you are one of the few people that isn't at all intimidated by my mother."

            "Ha.  That was before I gave her reason to want my head on a stake."

            "Fine, fine, I'll accompany you, you little coward."

            "Fight fair, no name calling."

            "Heh."  Her hand still in his, she dragged him out of the room.  "Come on, we're going now.  I called my mom and told her that I'd becoming by in the afternoon."  Eriol only groaned in response.

*****

            When Sonomi Daidouji opened the massive oak door she did not expect to see what she saw.  It was her daughter, standing next to Eriol not touching or holding hands, but that ring on her daughter's left hand almost made her go blind.  She embraced her daughter, noticing how her stomach was growing and truly felt time weighing her down.  It seemed only a few years ago when she herself was carrying her beloved daughter in her womb.  And now to see her daughter, grown up, with a child in her own.  It made the dauntless Sonomi Daidouji want to cry.  To Dr. Eriol Hiiragizawa, she just smiled and nodded to. 

            "Well, this is a surprise.  Come in you two, I'm was just in the veranda having tea."  

            When they were all seated, and served with tea and cake, Eriol spoke without any ceremony.

            "I have asked for your daughter's hand in marriage Ms. Daidouji.  She has accepted and now we only wish for your blessing."  Tomoyo glanced at Eriol from the side quickly then to her mother who was sitting across from them, her form graceful but firm.  Her mother was always a tower of strength as Tomoyo grew up, she still was.

            "I suppose there is nothing that I can do about it?  After all, it was I who suggested it.  I am sorry for going behind you on this my girl."  She reached out and took Tomoyo's hand.

            "You want me happy and taken care of.  I understand that.  You would not have done something so immediate if you did not know that Eriol would not be suitable for me."  It was Eriol's turn to glance at Tomoyo.  Such words.  Immediate was surely an understatement and he didn't know if he liked being described as 'suitable' but he remained silent.  "I'm sorry I let you down Mama."  The tears were back in her eyes.

            "No Tomoyo, I love you and want to see you happy.  I'm proud of you for the person that you have become."  Tomoyo lifted her head and smiled.  Eriol just looked on wondering what it would be like if he had a mother like Sonomi.  Tomoyo was indeed a lucky person.

            "Eriol."  Sonomi's voice became stern when she addressed him.  "You will promise to me here and now that you will protect my daughter no matter what, that you will be faithful regardless of the circumstances and that you will take care of her and my grandchild and make them happy to the best of your abilities or you will have to answer to me.  Do I make myself clear young man?"

            "Yes ma'am."  Eriol answered in all seriousness.  He did not doubt Sonomi's words; anyone would be a fool otherwise.  "I promise to protect, take care and be faithful to your daughter and your grandchild.  To my best of abilities, I will try to make them happy.  They are my world now" Tomoyo lost her breath at those last words.  Perhaps they were too much; surely the man did not mean that and she was sure her mother would have seen through such grand words, but apparently, due to some luck, she didn't.

            "Thank you Eriol." Sonomi replied the sternness in her tone gone for she trusted the man's words.  She knew that Eriol could lie as well as her daughter could, she could see through both of them when they did, so when they spoke from their hearts, she knew it and would bet her life on it.  Perhaps that last statement was a bit too much, and perhaps at this moment, he did not mean it, but in time, he would.  Call it a mother's intuition. She stood up, as did the other two.  Embracing her daughter again she whispered to her  "Be happy."  This time, she embraced Eriol as well.

 "Welcome my boy, make me proud." Were her words to him.  Reflecting on those words later on, he realized that they were great words to live up to, making the renowned Sonomi Daidouji proud.  "I do however," she continued, after she stood facing them, "have one condition before I give you my blessings."  

            Eriol almost groaned.  What was it with the Daidouji ladies and their cursed conditions?

            "I want you two married before the end of next month."  Eriol and Tomoyo just looked at her too shocked.  

            "That's not possible." Tomoyo started.

            "Oh believe me child, with me overseeing this, it is possible and it will be done."  Eriol said nothing, merely mouthed the words "wow" while he looked down.  The doorbell rang again and Sonomi gave a puzzled look.  

            "I wasn't expecting visitors. Hmm, I'll be back." Sonomi left them in the veranda to answer the door.  The house staff was usually given the weekends off since Sonomi was almost always home during those days of the week. 

            Eriol and Tomoyo walked out of the veranda into the living room of the house.

            "One month." Tomoyo whispered.  "I think I won't make it to that altar.  I'll die from exhaustion before I do."

            "You? Miss Workaholic?  I don't think so.  Besides, come hell or high water, your mother will make sure both you and I make it there."

            "In case you haven't noticed Mr. Hiiragizawa, I'm not as I used to be."

            "Oh I noticed." He winked at her.

            "Insufferable man."  She said underneath her breath, leaving Eriol by the door the just entered to look out one of the windows in the living room.

            "Well, well, well, look who we have here."  Both Eriol and Tomoyo looked up at the sound of a deep voice practically dripping with sarcasm.  Tomoyo did not need to turn around to see who it was, but she did anyway and found that not ten feet away from where Eriol was standing was the formidable Touya Kinomoto, with a wry grin on his lips and fire in his eyes, glowering at Eriol.

***tsuzuku**

**A/N: **That was better than four months! Hahahaha. Hmmm, what did I put in here.  Okay, yes, Eriol does have a bit of magic in him, but like in my other stories, he leads a normal life, for the most part.  As to whether he knows about what happened that night or not, just in case there is any confusion, he's in the same state as Tomoyo.  Complete utter fogginess.  What I did in this chapter was try to incorporate the relationship that Eriol and Tomoyo had in the past as good friends and their present relationship expectant parents and betrothed to each other.  Guys, thank you, thank you, thank you! Your reviews make me smile and they truly warm my heart!  I appreciate it so much.  For those who recently reviewed Kimi Wo Sagashiteita  (_MidnightBlue-sama_ and _NotApplicable-sama_) I do intend to finish that story but I don't know if it's going to be while I'm writing this one or after this one is done, it all depends on how the inspiration flows ^.^. If you want I can e-mail you when I do! Oh yes, we are all familiar with this term, but I'll just put it here for reference:

_Baka_ – stupid (person)

Again, my many many thanks! Happy Holidays!


	8. Fifth Month: Part One

**Disclaimer: **The fair ladies of CLAMP Cardcaptor Sakura and it's storyline and they also own the characters in this story, except for Koen and the unborn child, a few people that may flit here and there and Touya because the man is so delicious, I just want to jump him when I see him with that disgruntled look on his face. 

**Fifth Month: Part One**           

In three quick, long strides, Touya was toe to toe with Eriol, his fist about to make contact with the other man's jaw when Eriol, realizing the taller man's intent when he was two steps away, ducked and stepped around him.  He was not a violent man and avoided it whenever he could, but he was not going to let the hot-tempered Touya Kinomoto knock down his pride and manly dignity just because he believed he had dishonored Tomoyo.

            Well, true, he _did_.  But marrying her should nullify the dishonoring bit. 

Again, Eriol felt out of time, more in the eighteenth century than in the twenty-first.  He supposed Tomoyo's family and friends were a one of a kind.  No, he _knew_ that they were, and they had accepted him long before this, and he knew that he would not trade them for the world and that he would stand by any of them when trouble came.  He then thought of Touya's behavior and wondered of what he would do if some wretch got Nakuru pregnant.  In that light, he understood Touya's feelings all too well.  The poor sod would not be able to walk for a month.

 Before either man could act again Tomoyo spoke, anger in her words.

            "Stop it, both of you.  Touya, you will not lay a hand on my fiancé and Eriol, don't bait him."

            Eriol was at a loss for words. He did no such baiting.  He was just standing there as innocent as can be.  

Ha. Innocent.    

He felt something warm bolt through him when he remembered that Tomoyo had referred to him as her fiancé for the first time. Those very words stopped Touya in his tracks. 

            "Your _what?_"  

            "I know you are not deaf Touya." She replied.  Eriol walked towards Tomoyo and just stood by here and couldn't help but smile.  _Now_ he was baiting Touya.  It was almost as fun as baiting Syaoran.

            "Kinomoto, do you think that I would act so irresponsibly?"

            "Shut up Hiiragizawa."

            "Okay, I know, bad choice of words."  Touya turned to Tomoyo, one dark brow raised.

            "Are you sure about this Tomoyo?"

            "As much as I know you want to beat this man here to a bloody pulp Touya, he asked me if I would marry him and I accepted and my mother has given her blessings."

            "Well I'll be damned." Was his gruff reply, he could say nothing more because Sakura, Syaoran and Yukito entered the room.  Oblivious to what had passed between the two men presently standing in the room, they were all smiles.  Yukito passed by Touya, and seemed as if he read what the other man wanted to do.

            "Stop glaring Touya."  He turned to Eriol who was still by Tomoyo's side, nodded towards him with a smile as he strode towards them.  When he reached them, he pulled Tomoyo in a brotherly hug.  Sakura, after pulling away from her husbands arm, nudged her brother on the side.

            "Behave." She whispered.

Then went to Tomoyo so she could hug her cousin as well.  She stopped short upon seeing the ice rink on Tomoyo's left hand.  "AIYAHHH!!"  She grabbed Tomoyo's hand.  "Yukito, grab me my sunglasses!"  

            Yukito laughed at her then looked at the ring himself and whistled.  Syaoran followed to look, and even Touya stopped brooding long enough to take a few steps and glance at Tomoyo's now very occupied left hand.  Syaoran gave a low whistle as well, and then turned to Eriol.

            "Looks like I have competition when it comes to gift giving now."  He was kidding, everyone knew it, but Sakura elbowed him on his side.  Syaoran just turned towards her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. After Syaoran freed his wife from his grasp, Sakura walked up to Eriol who quietly moved away from the crowd and was now by the door, and hugged him tightly.        

            "Thank you Eriol.  Take care of her." She whispered.

            "I intend to."  Not really knowing what he meant by those words.

            Syaoran stepped up next, pounding Eriol's back in congratulations.  There were no words, there were no words needed.  Eriol could see from the Wolf's eyes what he meant to say: "Smart move my friend."

            Yukito then put an arm around his shoulder and shook his hand.  "Congratulations" was all he said, but probably was thinking the same thing as Syaoran.  Touya extended his hand towards Eriol. He shook Eriol's hand in a grip tighter than necessary but, he knew that it would not affect Eriol. 

            "You are one lucky bastard you know that?" Eriol just looked at him, and so he continued.  "Smart move in marrying her. She has always been like a sister to me and there was never a doubt about that.  But mistreat her and you answer to me you hear?"

            "I hear.  But I'm afraid I'll have to answer to her mother first and then we'll see if I'm alive to answer to you."  All of a sudden the two men were grinning at each other.   Sakura leant towards Tomoyo and whispered 

"Men. You'll never understand some things about them no matter how hard you try.  Trust me."

"Oh you don't have to tell me that." Replied Tomoyo.  

As it turned out, Eriol and Tomoyo really didn't need to tell Touya anything – truth or lie.  It had slipped Tomoyo's mind that Yukito already told him and had fended him off for the last month or so.  A good job he did at that considering that Eriol was still functioning properly, except for the last near encounter with Touya's fist.  The day passed without anymore incident and they all parted on jovial terms, even Touya was smiling as they were leaving the Daidouji Manor.  Tomoyo and Eriol bid good-bye to Sonomi and left the house side by side.  Sonomi practically made Eriol swear on his father's grave to see that Tomoyo made it to her door in one piece.  

The winter season was setting in, the days getting shorter and the nights stretching longer.  The sun already set when everyone left the Manor.  When Tomoyo was in Eriol's car, she let out a big sigh of relief.  The hard part was now over.  Then she remembered that for twenty-one months or so, she and Eriol would have to put on a façade before the world that they were this blissfully wedded couple.   Tomoyo's stomach turned and she felt the nausea began to build.  _Bloody hell_.  So much for today being the hard part. 

Eriol got in on the other side and noticed the pale complexion of the woman next to him.

"Is anything wrong?" 

Tomoyo swallowed the ill feeling and turned to him.

"Nausea. Comes to me almost as naturally as breathing you know."

Eriol grinned at her and it almost made her forget that she felt like throwing up.   Almost.

"Don't worry, we'll get you home and to bed in no time and tomorrow you'll be right as rain."

'Why did he have to word it like that?' she grudgingly thought.  She closed her eyes and bit back a groan at the thought.  Let him think it is because she is under the weather. She'd be twice the fool if she let him know her thoughts and right now, a part of those thoughts was her cursing herself for being such a gutter minded person to begin with.  Tomoyo settled in and kept her eyes closed and Eriol, still grinning, turned on the ignition.  

*****

Eriol accompanied her inside her apartment and made sure that everything was okay and after giving her a friendly peck on the cheek, dutifully left.  Tomoyo was nothing but grateful.  She wanted to crash on her bed and not wake up until tomorrow despite the fact that it was only seven in the evening.  By 7:30 she was clad in her pajamas and climbing into bed.  The moment she hit the pillow, she slept.  And that night, the lady dreamt.  

Tomoyo sat on a bench overlooking a pond, a wooden bridge arching over it.  The sun shone and the sky was blue and endless.  A small breeze accompanied her as she enjoyed the garden, with it's gravel path encircling the pond, the trees that stood near both ends of the wooden bridge, bursting with green leaves.  Tomoyo smiled and gave a quiet sigh of content as she dropped a kiss on her child's sleeping head, as he slept in her arms oblivious to all the beauty surrounding him.  But Tomoyo would appreciate it for both of them.  She felt complete and uninhibited joy as she looked at her son.  The beauty and the wonder of him struck her so much that he felt that she would weep for the joy of it.  She was happy and needed nothing more.  In her joyous state, she did not notice the fast clouds eating up the cerulean sky, leaving gray in its wake.  Only when her child began to cry did she realize that something was wrong.  The wind picked up and sent a chill down her back.  

"Shhh.  Don't worry sweetheart, mama's here." She tried to comfort her baby but as she pulled to hold him closer to her, she found he was no longer in her arms and all she grasped was air.  Devastation hit her like a punch in the gut.  But before she could react, she found that she was no longer in the garden, but in a room so dark, she felt that it would eat at her.  Yes, the room was black and it was cold.  She wrapped her arms around herself and felt that she had no clothes on.  Panic was dumped on her like cold water.  She was in a room without light, without clothes but what hit her most was that she felt that this had happened before.  She was in this room before in this exact situation.  But she wasn't sure.  She remembered nothing. 

'Raped?' She asked silently the question that made her blood run cold.  'No, no. I feel whole. Thank _God_.' Relief flooded her as she sank to the floor, tears welling in her eyes.  

'Why am I here? Who took me here?'  She felt tired, so tired that she just wanted to close her eyes and will it all away, but she was afraid of what would happen if she did.  The tears flowed freely.

"Someone find me please…" She whispered.

She then felt a presence and in the next instant heard a quiet sound.

"_Shhh_…" It wrapped around her like a blanket, comforting enough to let her body and mind rest, she closed her eyes and felt herself fall over.  

*****

The moment her head should have hit the floor Tomoyo woke up, eyes wide, gasping for air and her face streaked with tears spent that night.  Cold, she wrapped her blanket around her tighter. Looking around her room she found that morning came, the sun a welcome sight in her room.

"Kami-sama what _was _that?" She asked.  She knew she was not going to get an answer even though God knows that she wanted one.  

The garden. The child. The room.

She could have sworn that she's seen that garden before.  It was so perfect in her dreams, how can she forget something like that if it existed in real life?  The room.  Its darkness still haunted her in daylight.  She couldn't recall being there either.  Maybe she has, but the memory of it fluttered just out of reach so that she would never be sure if it was the result of exhaustion.  Cautiously she got out of bed and walked to her kitchen.  She needed to calm down.  It was only a dream and dreams can't harm anyone. 

No, dreams can't harm anyone, but they sure as hell can scare them mindless.  It was so vivid, vivid enough that if she closed her eyes she could picture it perfectly.  Not that she wanted to see that room.  Actually, if she never saw that space again, it would only be too soon.  The stress was probably getting to her and so there and then she decided that she wouldn't tell anyone about this.  No sense in worrying everyone over something so silly.  But still, something lingered in the back of Tomoyo's mind.

  The next few days passed by uneventfully. Working at the shop, starting on the wedding plans and worrying about the baby was enough to keep her occupied.  But when she had nothing to keep her mind preoccupied, the dream came back to her, the details not fading with each coming day. 

  And that's where she found herself on a Saturday morning, it was 8am and she was already thinking about that dream.  What could it possibly mean?  Still brooding over her tea, Tomoyo almost jumped out of her chair when her phone rang.  Forcing her heart rate to go down, she answered the phone still slightly breathless. 

"Good morning Tomoyo!"  Sakura's voice rang on the other line.

"Morning Sakura, why the early call?"

"I need a favor.  Can you watch Koen this morning? Papa and Syaoran have to work and I can't bring him to the flower shop because we have a large order coming in today.  I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on him.

"Oh sure! I can use the company."

"Is anything wrong?"

"Oh no no, everything is okay."  Tomoyo fought off the guilt for lying to her cousin.

"Okay, I'll be there in about half an hour."  

Just as she hung the phone up it rang again.  

"Hello?"

"Good morning darling." The low baritone filled her ear.  Tomoyo raised her eyes to the heavens and silently mouthed the word "Why?"

"Shut up Hiiragizawa."

"Now now, is that the way you greet your fiancé?"

"I am _not _in a good mood right now, so if you don't have anything important or even slightly interesting to say, I am going to hang up. Good day."

"Wait one moment Tomoyo." Eriol was all in seriousness now.  "I was wondering if you'd like to come over for breakfast?"

"I'm watching Koen this morning."  

"Bring him over then." Tomoyo rolled her eyes.

"We don't want to be a bother."

"If you were going to be a bother, then I wouldn't ask. Now bring yourself and my godson over."

"Not in that tone I won't."  On the other end it was Eriol's turn to roll his eyes.  The lady certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed.

"Would you kindly honor me with your presence over breakfast?"  He replied, words practically dripping with sarcasm.

"Smartass."

"Since you're engaged to me, that would make you the soon-to-be Mrs. Smartass."

"Shut up Hiiragizawa.  We'll be there in an hour."  And without so much as a good bye she hung up.

"I see that you two are off to a wonderful start together."  Nakuru commented from the kitchen table.

"Shut up Nakuru."  He stalked out of the kitchen, whistling a tune.  She snickered as a reply.

Sakura and Koen was at Tomoyo's in exactly half and hour.  When Tomoyo answered the door, she felt much better having recovered from her duel with Eriol over the phone.

"Koen!" She took the little boy from his mother's arms and hugged him close.

"'Tee Moyo!" He replied.  "Auntie Tomoyo" was still too much of a mouthful for him, but regardless, Tomoyo's day would brighten whenever he called to her. 

Sakura gave Tomoyo a kiss on the cheek as she took Koen back from her so that she could see how her cousin was faring.  Looking at her, it was clearly obvious that she was expecting.  It was also obvious that it suited her.  There was that glow that Tomoyo probably didn't notice, but Sakura could see it.  She could also see that something was bothering her.

"Anything wrong Tomoyo?"  

Tomoyo smiled at Sakura, count on her to read her like a book, but no, she would not let her worry.

"No, nothing is wrong, just had a little battle of words with Eriol."

"Ah."

"What do you mean 'Ah'?"

"Nothing, just 'Ah'"

"Oi vay." Tomoyo sighed reaching for her nephew again.  "Okay, off you go now, we'll be okay.  Oh and Eriol told me he wanted Koen and I to go over there for breakfast, so we're heading there in a bit."

"Ah."

"Sakura!"

"Sorry.  That would be great, I'm sure my boy would like to see his Uncle Eriol."

"That makes one of us." Tomoyo muttered under her breath.  Sakura hid a smile on her way out.

*****

"Ne Koen, we're here now." Tomoyo stood before the Hiiragizawa Mansion, Koen in one arm and a bag of things in the other.  Taking care of a child, even if it was only during the morning was no light task.  Tomoyo sighed again. "Yes, this is Uncle Eriol's place"

"'Cul Eol?"  Koen echoed.  Tomoyo grinned

"Yes my dear child, your Uncle Eriol who is more of a handful than you are."  She stopped.  "And yet in less than a month I'm going to be his wife."  Tomoyo felt her stomach hit rock bottom then and tried to shake it off.  Feeling the stress on her back from carrying a child in her womb and another at her hip forced her to bring down her nephew and allowed him to walk through the garden that led to the main door of the magnificent house that stood solitary, almost away from all other sources of suburban life.  She was dawdling and she knew it, no point in going in when there was so much to appreciate outside, besides, Koen seemed to be enjoying himself.  Tomoyo watched her nephew chase a little white butterfly in the garden, watched his little chubby legs work.  One step in front of the other, a little shaky, but he was going.  Tomoyo reflected on that.  

Unsure, anything but sturdy, but still going.  This was Tomoyo as well but in a much more different sense.

Tomoyo's heart burst with love just watching Koen.  Then all of a sudden, he was face down in the grass.  He had tripped, as was natural for a little child still learning how to balance, how to walk, run and jump.  Regardless, Tomoyo was there in a heartbeat.

"Koen!" She ran to him.  But before she could pick him up, the little boy had rolled on his back and was laughing.  If there was anything in this world that could cure a broken heart it was the laughter of a child.  The little butterfly that the dear boy was chasing landed on his nose.  Koen went cross-eyed for a few moments trying to get a look at the winged creature.  Tomoyo was laughing so hard that she had to sit down on the grass, picking him up and settling him on her lap as she did so.  Both, aunt and child were laughing to their heart's content and for a moment in time Tomoyo forgot all of her worries – her haunting dream, her marriage of convenience to a man she wanted to throttle at least twice every hour, how she would handle the little life growing within her, even the dry cold air.  

The music of laughter reached Eriol from the open window of his office and so there he stood watching the woman he was about to marry and the little boy that was his godson laughing on his lawn.  Laughing and not having a care in the world.  Eriol swallowed once. Twice. He felt a warmth come over him as the laughter continued to dance through the December air.  Indeed it was cold but Eriol felt no chill at all.  It was a strange sensation, one that he was a complete stranger to.  It was strange and unknown, and so it should have scared him.  But it didn't, it made him want to laugh along with the two outside.  He walked down the stairs with smile on his face.  A smile that Nakuru had never seen on her brother before and therefore she was rendered speechless as he passed by her on the way to the front door. 

Tomoyo and Koen were just getting up from their spot on the grass when Eriol happened to come upon them.  Tomoyo grudgingly noticed that there was something different about him, something that made him look just a little more handsome, a little more approachable – but she'd bite her tongue off first before she would say that to him or to anyone else in that matter.

" 'Cul Eol!" The little boy cried with glee in his aunt's arms, reaching and squirming for his uncle.  Eriol took the little boy in his arms and tossed him in the air, and was rewarded with more laughter from his godson.  Eriol smiled at him and kissed him on the forehead.  He looked at Tomoyo, smiled and dropped a kiss on her head as well. Tomoyo tried her best to fight the blush creeping to her cheeks. And failed.  She sent a silent prayer of thanks that the cold air had turned her cheeks a rosy pink before hand.  But knowing Eriol, if he tried, he'd know the truth of it.  Damned if that ever happened.  It was absolutely ridiculous. It was not like this before, Tomoyo told Eriol almost everything, she trusted him with her worries and her secrets.  He was her best friend at one point.  But now, she was slowly building a wall of stone around her heart, perhaps an ice princess in Eriol's eyes, but she would never know.  But then again, the Eriol of the days past didn't make her blush either.  Blame it on the estrogen.

Uh oh, the woman was thinking again.  Eriol thought as he watched Tomoyo's burrowed expression, usually indicating that she was not on this earth at the moment.  He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a slight shake.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

            Tomoyo shook her head, shaking away her list of thoughts and smiled at the two before her.

            "Yeah, I'm good."

            "You think too much you know."

            "Yeah yeah yeah.  Last time I checked it wasn't illegal."

            "Well make sure you you're not walking while you're spacing out, you'll walk into a wall one of these days."

            "Boy that would make your day wouldn't it?"

            Eriol bit back a grin.  It was a trap.

            "No – your body is not your own at the moment."  He shifted Koen onto one arm and placed a hand on Tomoyo's slightly swollen belly. "Take care of him."  He said quietly, looking at her stomach.  

            For a moment Tomoyo forgot to breath.  _Him_.  She suddenly remembered that she held a baby boy in her arms in her dream, her son. _Their son_.

            "Him?" She repeated what her mind echoed.  "How do you know?"

            Eriol shrugged and tossed her a boyish smile. 

            "Call it a hunch my dear.  How often am I wrong?"

            "If I had a dollar for each time, I'd be rolling in money."

            "You strike me deep darling."  Eriol feigned a stagger.  Koen giggled.

            "Hai hai hai."  Tomoyo said with a wave of a hand, her back already to him as she headed towards the house.

            Eriol and Koen watched as she entered the house.

            "Here's your first lesson with women my dear boy." He whispered to him.  "They are unpredictable."  He stopped and smiled at him. "But you know what? That's what makes them so interesting."  And with that they followed after Tomoyo into the house. 

            Nakuru practically tackled Eriol when she saw Koen in his arms.  She loved the little tyke even though he was a handful at times, especially with Spinel.  

The poor cat. 

            "KOEN!" Eriol was on the ready and was holding Koen at arms length just so Nakuru would be able to grab him from Eriol without either of them getting hurt.

            "Naku!" The little boy let out a stream of giggles as Nakuru began to spin him around and around.  Eriol headed towards the kitchen, saying,

            "Be careful Nakuru, unless you want that little boy spitting up on that pretty little top of yours."  

            Nakuru stopped almost instantly and held the boy at arms length, looking at his face, seeing if he looked like he was going to throw up.  Instead Koen gave her a toothy smile.  Nakuru's heart melted into mush.  She grabbed the child close squealing,

            "Kawaii!"  Eriol heard this from the kitchen and smiled. One day though the boy just may vomit on her the way she spun and lifted and squeezed him the way she did, and when that happened, Eriol wanted to be there just to see her face.  He looked around the spacious kitchen and realized that Tomoyo was nowhere to be found.

            "Nakuru, where did Tomoyo go?"

            "She said something about heading out to the back garden."

            "Thanks" He headed towards the door leading to his garden, which he personally designed so that it would resemble something of a traditional garden.  It was his favorite spot in the house, especially during summer.  He saw Tomoyo standing in the middle of the gravel path, staring out into the little pond.  When he reached her side, he saw the shock and, surprisingly, the fear on her face.

            "Tomoyo?"  He touched her shoulder.  She turned to him eyes wide, her complexion as pale as snow.

            "This garden…" The gravel path, the pond, the wooden bridge, the trees and the bench, they were the same.  It was all exactly as she saw it in her dream, a dream that went so very wrong from this first scene. She should have known, she should have _known_.  How often was she here in his garden before? How many times has she sat on that wooden bridge with Sakura or Eriol just talking about nonsense? More times than she could count. It was one of the most beautiful places she'd ever set foot in and she'd forgotten all about it.  All of a sudden, like a dam being lifted, the dream flooded her mind.  

The room and the child.  And then the world began to tilt, and all went black once more.

**~tsuzuku**

**A/N:** First off, I just want to offer my deepest apology for being a lazy-good-for-nothing (insert word of choice here).  I realized that it was about to go six months without me updated, but I suppose I just wasn't really sure about how much to type for the next chapter.  This chapter was started in February, but I was just not sure where to end it and as the days went by, I kind of got uninspired. But when even in April I still kept getting reviews, I was in complete awe, and it was a drive to finish.  I know I should be responsible and finish what I started.  In truth, I want to finish this story, I want to see where it leads and how it ends, and I'll see to it.  I can't promise that I won't fall into a rut again, but I can say that I will try my best to get updates up sooner than **5 months** and that each chapter will be written not because I feel I _have _to, but because I _want _to.  Thank you so much for your patience and for pushing me. **Cherry Blossom-san** thank you for that last…not review, but um, push.  It got me to haul my butt to finish and upload this chapter.  I hope that I did okay and I'm sorry that I can't catch all of my grammar mistakes. I'll try harder.  Minna-san Arigatou Gozaimashita. m(_ _)m

Genki Girl (^_^)/~~


	9. Fifth Month II: Give and Take

**Disclaimer: **Even after all this time I still own NOTHING of CLAMP's CCS, the originals are mine though so no voodoo dolling me for them please, I am innocent

_**Fifth Month II: Give and Take**_

Eriol caught her just before she crumpled to the ground, an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu shooting through him. Lifting her in his arms he rushed inside the house, passing by a shocked Nakuru.

"Eriol?" She started to follow him to the stairs. He did not even look at her as he spoke.

"It's okay, she's exhausted, but she'll be okay, I'm just going to lay her down." His voice was controlled, emotionless and cold. Nakuru knew then that he was beyond worried about Tomoyo and instead, he was bordering on fear. She rarely ever saw him in such a state and she herself began to worry for the both of them. All of a sudden Koen started to cry.

"Shhh Little One. Shhh. Auntie Tomoyo will be okay. Shhh."

She stared up the stairs where Eriol had just taken Tomoyo, his long legs allowing him to take the steps two at a time. Nakuru sighed and took Koen into the kitchen. An unconscious Auntie Tomoyo was something the child did not need to see right now. She figured that with a father like Syaoran Li and a mother like Sakura Li, nee Kinomoto, the child could probably pick up on things that normal children could not. Nakuru shook her head mentally. It was probably the pregnancy that caused Tomoyo to pass out, and she could only hope that it was only that.

Eriol laid her down on his bed, tucked her in his comforter and placed a gentle hand on her forehead. She was cool to the touch and so pale that it scared him. What on earth had she said before passing out? It was something concerning his garden. What about his garden?

She has passed out before, and like this time he was there to catch her. The first time was because of the baby, of that he was fairly sure, but this time there was fear on her face, and that in turn gave him something to be concerned over. What could she possibly be afraid of? He sat down at the edge of the bed and held her hand, waiting until she regained consciousness. He considered calling Yukito, but decided to wait until she woke up and found out the cause of Tomoyo's fainting spell. Just as he let go of her hand, her eyes opened and she practically bolted up. Eriol firmly took her by the shoulders.

"Calm down Tomoyo. You can really hurt yourself getting up that fast."

She blinked at him once. Twice. Then she let out a sigh of relief as she sank back into bed. She turned her head slowly from one side, then another. Looking up at him she asked.

"Where am I?"

"You're in my bed."

That answer caused her to bolt up faster than the first time. Eriol caught her by the shoulders and firmly placed her back down. He continued, "And this is where you'll be staying until I am sure that you'll be okay." He was trying so hard not to smile and knew that if he did not turn away soon, he would be in big trouble. He patted her hand and told her,

"I'm going to tell Nakuru that you're okay. I'll be right back so don't move." And with that he got up and headed towards the door with a big grin on his face. He ran down the stairs only to almost colide with Nakuru, carrying Koen going up those same stairs.

"How is she?" Nakuru worriedly asked.

"She's fine, she just woke up."

She eyed him closer and asked, "What is with that smirk on your face?"

"What smirk? She just passed out, why the hell would I be smirking?"

"You tell me!"

"Go feed my godson, Nakuru." And without another word, he turned around and headed up the stairs.

The moment that he entered the bedroom, he was greeted with a pillow being hurled at his face. Dead aim.

"That," Tomoyo snapped, "Was for that stupid grin on your face before you left."

Ah, so she did notice. He blankly regarded the fair lady in his bed, fully awake and back to normal, or so it seemed. He walked back towards the bed in smooth strides tossing the pillow towards her.

"Sorry." Though he really wasn't.

"No you're not." Echoing his very thoughts.

"Sharp as ever I see. Now," Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, "Would you mind telling me what just happened outside?"

"It was nothing. I just… I've just been tired lately."

"Considering that you're a stubborn workaholic, I'm sure that we can take that into account. However, I don't completely buy it. Now, would you mind telling me what really happened or must I keep guessing?"

His arrogant tone always had a way of bringing out her sharp tongue, even if she was tired, internally shaken and hungry. She sat up in the bed and stuck her chin out at him.

"It's nothing." Her eyes, a blooming violet tempest.

"Tomoyo…" He started wryly. She was shutting the doors, and there would be no getting inside of what was going in her mind today. Whatever it may be, it was certainly more than nothing. He knew her, knew he'd have to bide his time and gain her trust once more.

"Eriol, when I say that it's nothing, it's nothing." Realizing that neither of them needed to be arguing at this moment she added, "Now, no more on this because we're just going to be verbally sparring, getting nowhere and in the end being completely fed up with each other." Memories of their friendship before all of this complication slowly began to solidify in the back of her mind. Tomoyo waved a hand to the side as if trying to brush away the mirage of "What Was" away from "What Is".

"Speak for yourself. I personally enjoy our verbal duels." He gave her a boyish grin and realized that he was not going to get any information out of her at the present moment. Considering that they were to be married and to remain so for a considerable period of time, he was certain that he would learn of her secrets in the future and decided to let the lady keep them for the time being.

"You are impossible."

"That's what my nanny often told me." He shrugged and then quickly reached for Tomoyo's wrist when he realized that she was trying to get out of bed. The reaction was swift as she snapped her head towards his hand and then lifted her head to glare at him. Ignoring it completely, he continued smoothly, "Maybe you should rest for a little bit…"

"Eriol Hiiragizawa, you are starting to sound like my mother. Besides for being hungry, I am perfectly fine. Now, let's eat." The sharp edge to her voice perhaps had more to do with the pressure of his hand on her wrist rather than being told what to do. But she would be damned if she chose to recognize such idiocy.

"I am not your mother, thank the heavens, I am your fiancé, and the father of your child. It seems that I now have more responsibility over you than the honorable Sonomi Daidouji does." He grinned at her again, knowing that he was baiting her, knowing that she would retaliate – and knowing the lady, that she would counter him with a vengeance.

The words caught her by complete surprise. Tomoyo's eyes closed for a brief moment letting the weight of those words foolishly warm her.

If the words caught her by surprise, her internal reaction to them appalled her to a degree. But the unwelcome reaction was only for a moment of a second and Tomoyo quickly realized the absurdity of it all and the odious game the man was playing. The warmth was rapidly replaced by fury.

"The only person _responsible _for me," Biting the words out at Eriol, amethyst flames in her eyes. "Is me and no body else. _Especially _not the likes of you. Now excuse me." Eriol stood as she snatched her arm back and practically pounced out of bed, eager to be out of it, and without looking back to see if the cursed Englishman was following her or not, quickly left the room that did so much to her senses.

Eriol sat there in the wake of Tomoyo's grand exit. The woman sure did know how to leave a room and whenever he expected a heated reaction from her because of his overdone teasing, she never failed him. It was like that before all of this, he recalled. As friends, he would tease her, knowing that she had a very short temper whenever it came to him, specifically. He didn't know whether to feel special or insulted. He took the former, for it was only Eriol that could invoke the fiery temper that Tomoyo had. That, he had to admit, was a special talent indeed, for under the tutelage of Sonomi Daidjouji, Tomoyo was raised to be a lady – calm, composed, serene, intellectual and nurturing. They were qualities of both the quintessential Japanese and English woman.

Eriol smirked as he recalled the fact that despite his ability to throw four out of the five of her qualities out of the window with carefully crafted words, her intellect was something that no one could shake, and for that he admired her. He frowned at a passing thought. Of all the words that he had used to describe who he was to Tomoyo, a friend was the one word that did not come to mind. They were friends once, though it seemed as if it were in another lifetime and if someone were to tell Eriol back then that he would be engaged to Tomoyo and that he was going to father her child he would have thought them daft in the head. However, despite the fact that he would have been the first to cry out how preposterous that would have been, he had no doubt that he would also be fighting back a pleasant warmth threatening to envelope him.

Even now he fought such occurrences.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Eriol began to recall all the emotions, all the words, all the regrets that he had encountered concerning Tomoyo. A month before he woke up with who seemed like an ethereal being in his bed, there had been a falling out between him and Tomoyo and their comfortable years of friendship were reduced to icy civility whenever they met. Now what was it that caused all of that? Eriol raised an eyebrow. It was not "what", rather, "who".

Syusuke Nara.

He was a man that Tomoyo met in her travels and coincidentally, they happened to live in the same country. He courted her and she fell for every buttered word that left his lips and was flattered with every gesture of admiration that he bestowed upon her. But Eriol saw more to him than Tomoyo did. Eriol went to university with Syusuke and he knew his views on women, and how he saw them merely as accessories to a man's house and bed. Eriol believed him to be arrogant, proud and above all things a liar. There was more going on behind the attractive face that Tomoyo was beginning to fancy. Thinking that he was being a good friend, he told Tomoyo exactly what he thought. She took into consideration all the things that he told her, smiled at him, thanked him for his concern for her and then told him "I will see."

One month exactly before that fateful morning, Eriol heard Syusuke telling his friends of how convenient it would be to marry Tomoyo because of her name and of her mother's fortune. Artemis Hughes, a colleague of both Eriol and Syusuke voiced his thoughts saying "I heard that Tomoyo Daidouji has got quite the independent streak. Also, that she has a head for business, like her mother."

"Well, when she marries me, I'm afraid those two will have to go. Her fortune will become mine and that silly shop that she owns will have to close down because I'd rather have her watching the house, warming my bed." He gave a sardonic grin to his company. Eriol snapped. To be precise, he snapped at the words "_When she marries me"_ However, the words that followed was something akin to adding oil to an already increasing flame, and all his control was stomped by a fury that he had never before known in his life. He rounded the corner, grabbed Syusuke by the collar and punched his jaw, knocking the surprised man flat on the ground, glaring up at him. He saw that Eriol was furious, not to mention the blasted man had 5 inches over him. Syusuke wasn't stupid, he bit back his retort and stayed on the ground glaring at him.

In a voice both cold and controlled, Eriol spoke, "Don't you _ever_ talk about Tomoyo Daidouji in that matter again. In fact, don't even speak to her again. Period. I will make sure that you regret it if you do." Without as much as a backward glance he walked away from the shocked crowd.

The next day, Tomoyo stormed into his house, beyond furious.

"Eriol Hiiragizawa, don't you _dare_ make decisions for me like you own me. I listened to you the first time you told me about your distrust about Syusuke Nara, but going as far as physical violence! I thought you were above that Eriol."

"I did what I thought was right." Those were the only things that Eriol told her.

She scoffed. The woman had the gall to scoff when all he did was stand up for her. He felt he had no reason to explain it to her beyond the words that he said. If she didn't understand, so be it. But maybe he should have told her the reason why he went off and dislocated the jaw of her so called suitor. But he was frustrated with her as well. What in all of earth did she see in such a lowlife?

_Jealousy_.

Eriol dismissed the word as quickly as it entered in his head.

"Eriol!" Nakuru's voice echoed through the vast stairwell. "Get yourself down here now or we're eating without you!" Eriol sighed and left all thoughts of the past back on a shelf in the back of his mind. No matter what they both thought or believed back then, they never could have imagined that it would lead to this path that joined them both. Sighing again he went down the stairs to have breakfast with his sister, godson and the woman who would be his wife.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Tomoyo stared out over the city from her balcony, trying to clear the things that were crowding her mind. There were too many things that didn't make sense.

Too many things that she could not understand.

There would be moments when she was so close to seeing the missing piece that could answer her questions, but just as she reached out to grasp it, it would disappear.

Like trying to grab mist.

She was not going to lie to herself. She was scared. These dreams were trying to tell her something but they frightened her too much. If they came any more frequently she did not know what she was going to do. And now the images were attacking her while she was awake.

Breakfast that morning went smoothly, probably because of Koen and Nakuru's presence. She gave off an exhasperated sigh. Thinking about Eriol was just too much for her exhausted mind. In fact it gave her a headache. Thank the good Lord she had three weeks to prepare herself in becoming Mrs. Eriol Hiiragizawa. The whistle of the kettle in her kitchen drew her thoughts away from the complex to the simple. Like tea. Suddenly she felt a flutter of movement in her stomach and she smiled. But some things could be simple, but complex beyond reason at the same time, she concluded. With a hand on her stomach and a smile on her face, she went to answer the call of the kettle.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sonomi Daidouji hung up the phone and leaned over her desk. Elbows on the table, hands in a steeple position, she stared into nothingness. She did not know why she agreed with him. Perhaps one could call it a mother's instincts. She smiled then. Oh but Tomoyo is not going to like it one bit, and if she knew her daughter – and she knew Tomoyo better than anyone else – she would not agree so amiably to the new proposal that Eriol placed before her. Well, so long as she was not the one to deliver the news. She knew Eriol was up to something, but oddly enough, she trusted him with her daughter and her grandchild's life.

Mother's instincts indeed.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Tomoyo could not believe it. She was having breakfast with Eriol two days in a row. She did not know why she agreed, she just knew that at this moment, she was sitting across from Eriol at a café. His face was earnest and serious. She did not know what went on in his mind and was a little weary.

"Tomoyo, I know we decided to get married in three weeks, but after talking to your mom, we think that we should marry next week."

"_What?"_ She said above a whisper.

"Sonomi has just sped up the planning. We're getting married a week from today Tomoyo." The man was smart. He had brought her to a public place so that she could not go off like a wild pistol on him when he told him his incredulous plans. And he got her mother to side with him. Her own _mother!_ Oh she was going to have a word or two with Sonomi Daidouji. But first she had to deal with the man before her.

Swallowing her rage she turned to him and smiled. Eriol did not like the look of that smile, no matter how beautiful it made her, he knew that smile. He saw it often and knew that the words that accompanied it were ones that he would not like.

"_Professor_," She started, calm, cool, collected. Eriol swallowed a part sigh- part groan. "We are going to marry in three weeks as planned. There is no reason to rush things, besides, I am not ready to marry you in such a short period of time and I don't care if you somehow charmed my mother into agreeing with you. We marry in three weeks or this engagement is off. Thank you for breakfast, good day."

She stood up with all the elegance instilled in her, her pride emanating through her, he could almost see it. Head up high, she walked out of the café. Damn, the woman was not going to make this easy for him. Paying for their meal, he got up and ran after her. Thank God it was easy to catch up to a pregnant woman, no matter how lithe she was. It was still early morning, 9a.m. to be exact, and there were not a lot of people in the streets. He caught up to her, but he didn't grab her, nor did he talk to her, he just continued to walk beside her and he knew how that annoyed her. He almost smiled, but there were more serious matters at hand. When they were nearing the park, Eriol cupped her elbow and guided her towards an empty park bench, over looking the water. Neither of them sat down, the just stood there eyeing each other. Eriol took the first shot.

"Tomoyo, we are getting married in a week and you are not calling off the engagement. That is just, for lack of a better word, stupid."

"Are you calling me stupid? I should be the one calling you that! How on earth did you get my mother to agree to such a crazy idea?" She stopped and took in a breath. "There is _no_ way that we are able to pull off a wedding in seven days."

"Obviously you underestimate your mother."

"Why?" She was frustrated, she was angry. She shook her head. "No Eriol, it's too soon." She sat down feeling the strain of her stomach.

"What are you so worried about Tomoyo? Your mother has everything under control." He followed her actions and sat down next to her.

"That doesn't answer my question. Why?"

"I've considered everything that's happened in the last four months Tomoyo. You're not telling me everything, and honestly it worries me."

"So you think that marrying you will mean you have the rights to all my secrets? Well here's news for you sir, if you force me to marry you in a week, I will lock myself in my room and not speak a word to you."

"Damnit Tomoyo, why the hell do you have to be so difficult?"

"Because, once again you are making decisions for me."

"It's for your own good." Then and there Tomoyo guffawed and with one of her already fisted hands, she almost punched him in his stomach.

"_For my own good?" _She mimicked him. She stood up and started walking away. He was anticipating that and followed suit, angered at her stubbornness

"Hell lady, you are not walking away from me this time." He growled near her ear. This time he did grab her wrist turning her around to face him. "Tomoyo, I asked to marry you so I could protect your name and our child, what makes it so easy for you to dismiss the fact that I also asked you to marry me so that I could protect you?"

"Protect me from what?"

"That is exactly what I would like to know. What are you hiding from me Tomoyo?"

"I am hiding nothing."

He took one step closer and lifted her face up toward him with his crook of his finger.

Softer, he replied, "You say it's nothing, but your eyes say something else. What do I have to do to prove to you that you have nothing to worry about in becoming my wife?"

Oh she could think of ten, but none that she would volunteer to voice at the moment. Instead she turned away from him.

"Look at me Tomoyo."

Cupping her face with both of his hands, she found herself looking into his eyes once more and she was lost. He tilted his head forward until their foreheads were lightly touching. "I know you're not telling me everything. Weren't we once the best of friends that kept no secrets from each other?"

"Things change Eriol." She whispered.

_Damn you, how can I fight you when you stand this close?_

"They certainly do, darling. Let me protect you." Emphasizing the last two words.

He took another step closer and felt her slightly rounded stomach against his and he had no more words. He stepped back a little with awe in his eyes and placed a hand on her belly for a moment before he looked at Tomoyo once more, a smile of wonder on his face. Giving in to every temptation, ignoring every reason he brushed his lips against hers, as light as butterfly wings, but carrying a heavy promise. When they parted she leaned against him and said in a semi-bitter voice, muffled against his shoulder,

"Oh fine, you win."

Eriol smiled and wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, his satisfaction barely hidden in his voice as he replied,

"Thar's my girl."

It was one battle down, and only heaven knew how many more of these head to heads they would encounter, but at the moment he was relieved that she agreed. However, at the same time his mind would not cease thinking about the mystery that led them to this place in time. He needed her trust; it was as simple as that. Or so he believed.

_**tsuzuku**_

**A/N: **I am sorry that this took over a year to update, but I write fanfiction at my own pace – and though I know that it is unfair to those who read it (and each and everyone of you guys are great thank you thank you thank you) please understand that this is a hobby and other priorities will take its place. Please don't flame me in counter to this by saying that I should not write if it takes such a long period of time. I write because inspiration strikes me at the oddest times and because I like to write, but such inspiration is a luxury that isn't given to me frequently and I am simply lucky that I have people who actually like the fruit of my inspiration. However, when I said I would not abandon this story, I was not lying – give me that benefit of the doubt. Just because there is nothing going on here, does not mean I am not writing things down on paper and racking my brain for ideas. Thank you for the support, the flattery, and yes even the insults. I just beg you to understand a little bit.

This chapter will be edited next week after I get over Anime Convention Hangover ahahahah. Forgive me for that as well please.

Again, many thanks!

8/ 22: This has been through its first edit. I am so sorry for the horrible grammar for those who read it the first time.


	10. Sixth Month: Sleeping Arrangements

Disclaimer: CCS is not MINE. I can wish it with all my heart, but unless money starts sprouting from my cactus, it ain't happening. All characters and original CCS story line belongs to CLAMP. Randomness….the word for the day is RETORT! Now let us all ponder over that…

**This Time Around – Sixth Month: Sleeping Arrangements**

Tomoyo felt numb. Numb was good because it took away the fear and doubt. Okay, so it did not completely dismiss the doubt because right now she wanted to turn the other way and run out the heavy wooden doors behind her, rather than go through the exquisitely carved double doors that were in front of her. She tightened her arm around Fujitaka Kinomoto, who looked at her and smiled an encouragement. Tomoyo smiled back at him – one with all the courage that she could muster, which at the moment was rather sparse. She hoped her smile did not tremble. Fujitaka was her _ojisan_, her uncle, and was the closest to a father figure that she has ever had. His quiet strength and wisdom was something that she always respected. His undying love for Nadesico Kinomoto was something that she always admired, and sometimes envied.

Oh, to have a man love you that much.

The first waltzing notes of a cello broke through her random thought and once more a cold fear washed over her as the double doors before them swung open slowly. Some 30 odd paces away from her was the man who would be her husband in a matter of minutes. The sensation to run away started to rise up in her throat but she quickly stomped down the desire. She would not run. Women of the Daidouji were not cowards.

A nosegay bouquet of subtle lily-of-the-valley and fragrant, white Saratoga roses clutched tightly by both her hands and Fujitaka anchoring her on the right, she took one deep breath, sent up a quick prayer to the heavens for strength and stepped forward. Tomoyo was so nervous that she did not notice the reaction of the crowd that watched her in awe. Her sleeveless, lace, empire cut gown hid her swollen belly rather well as the skirt flowed from just below her breasts to her feet. The second layer was a pure white satin overcoat, with a high collar, emphasizing her elegant neck and long sleeves that belled out a little at the end, its length fell to her feet as well, except the back, which formed into a train, embroidered on the edges with small pale blue crystals, sweeping back seven feet or so behind her. Half of her ebony hair was held up in loose curls that tumbled down along with the rest of her hair and spiraled half way down her back. Her bangs naturally parted in the center, revealing the circlet of four thin platinum bands on each side, almost wrapping around her entire crown, twining into parallel intricate designs that dipped into a slight V shape, placing a tear drop shaped sapphire right in the center of her forehead. In other words, it resembled that of an elfin priestess' crown. A veil with a Cathedral train topped it all off, with the front, falling softly over her face, and continuing on to her waist and the back, flowing into a 25 feet train. Tomoyo could have gone without veil; however, it was an heirloom. Her grandmother had worn it and she and her grandfather had loved each other more each day. Her mother had worn it and had a completely different result. Tomoyo could not help but muse about what would happen with her marriage. Though to her and Eriol, their future together was already pre-planned and they both knew that it had a due date, so to speak. In any case, she could not deny her mother's wishes that she wear the veil. The circlet was also something passed down from generations past. Neither her mother, nor her grandmother wore the circlet on their wedding day. However, it was her great-grandmother who had donned on the delicate fairy-like crown decades back. Sonomi used to tell Tomoyo when she was just a little girl that her great-grandmother was perhaps half fairy and Tomoyo loved to hear the tale her mother would tell her about Yuriko Daidouji, her mother's, mother's mother. However, she knew overtime that it was all just that, a fairy tale. Regardless, Tomoyo would give up a good many things to have an hour or two with her great-grandmother who had died before her birth.

Indulging her mother, she did not complain at how over extravagant the dress was and in truth, she was partly relieved and partly pleased that the wedding dress was the first thing that she had on her list when she she agreed to marry Eriol, so having it rushed was not too much of a hassle. Besides, she was the Daidouji Heiress, so she may as well look the part. Her mother insisted that there would be no Daidouji bride walking down the aisle looking 'simple', which was what Tomoyo had insisted she wanted her wedding gown to be at first. Tomoyo almost laughed. All of this extravagance on a marriage that had an expiration date.

Tomoyo suddenly found herself holding back the sudden urge to cry.

Foolishness, nothing but foolishness.

She looked forward, towards Eriol, who stood tall, facing her, looking straight at her. She accepted the challenge and returned his gaze, unwavering. However, it was not before she noticed what he wore. Dressed almost completely in elegant black, his dress pants showed off his long legs and he was the only one that did not wear tails, instead, his wore a midnight black, double breasted, long jacket that fell to his knees, cropping a little at his waist which emphasized his broad shoulders. Instead of a tie, he wore a crisp white cravat, which was as white as his shirt. It was something to remember his father by.

There was no denying that Eriol Hiiragizawa had never looked as handsome in Tomoyo's eyes, as he did on this day. What luck that it should be their wedding day, she thought with a certain sarcastic humor, ignoring the flutter of her heart.

A Faerie Queen.

That was the thought that entered Eriol's wonder-struck face when he saw his bride. He smirked a little and then thought 'Ice Queen' suited her better with the pride and coldness that she sometimes carried. He continued to regard her questioning eyes, a little hesitant but determined none the less. All humorous thoughts flooded out of his mind. It was a good thing he did not need to speak at the moment, because he was rendered speechless once again by Tomoyo Daidouji, and she did not utter a word in order to do so. When Fujitaka and Tomoyo reached him and Fujitaka had lifted the veil from her face, giving her a kiss on both cheeks, Eriol stepped forward, bowing slightly towards Fujitaka, and then taking Tomoyo's hand. Again, Eriol bowed forward, but this time it was to kiss the hand of the striking lady before him. A light feather brush of lips to skin, one that caused Tomoyo to blush. He straightened and looked at her, saw the expression on her face, and then leaned forward, saying "Don't even think about passing out now." That got a smile out of her.

"And wreck my grandmother's veil? I don't think so." For some strange reason that was all she could do because now that she was face to face with him, she noticed that he was without his rimless glasses that he often wore. Without them, his eyes were as dark as a summer evening sky and she had this urge to just fall into them.

He knew she was staring at him. It isn't often that he went without his glasses, but today was one of those exceptions. He winked at her and that seemed to snap her out of whatever daze she was in. When she realized that she was nigh near gawking, she wanted to smack herself over the head for letting a little of her wall crumble a bit, simply over a man's eyes. This will never do.

For Tomoyo, everything went by in a blur. The words that she spoke were empty because that was what they were. The vows meant nothing to either of them, no 'for rich or for poor', no 'in sickness and in health', and most definitely not ''til death do us part'. It was like acting out a wedding scene in a movie and more than once she wanted to burst into tears at the unfairness of it all. She wanted this moment to be with the man she would love until her death, not with a man who would be playing the part for a mere year or so. But she kept the tears at bay, and ironically enough, it was because of the warm pressure from Eriol's hand, the one that he kissed and never let go until, exactly at 11am of Sunday, the tenth day of December, the pastor announced them husband and wife. Eriol let go of her hand and circled his arm around her waist, pulling her close for their first kiss as husband and wife. When he was only a whisper away he said, "Why don't we give them a show sweetheart?"

"Don't you dare…"

"Do I?" Raising his left eyebrow in amused speculation, his now ringed left hand caressed her cheek softly, and before she could say anything else he kissed her so gently that she did not know if she imagined this first kiss of theirs as husband and wife. He raised his head and gave her an open smile. The openness of that smile took her off guard.

"No, I suppose I don't dare - yet." He drawled.

What on earth has gotten into this man? Tomoyo wondered. He was playing the enamored husband. Well, they were putting on a show, for nobody, save Nakuru, knew the complete truth, nobody knew that they had slept together and awoken, not remembering anything, not Sakura, not Sonomi and heaven help all of them, not Touya or Syaoran.

The reception was held at the Daidouji Manor, and even if they did have the time to look for a venue, Tomoyo would still have chosen her childhood home. Both of them had changed out into formal wear that was not so extravagant.

It was all as it should be, yet Eriol could not shake this uncertainty in his mind. It was a grand setting for this grand drama that Tomoyo and he were playing out for both their family and friends. He supposed that it was guilt. He then recalled their first kiss in the church, and for a brief, fleeting moment, he had wished that the words that they had declared to each other were true, that they were really meant to live out the rest of their lives as Mr. and Mrs. Hiiragizawa. He supposed that was the past feelings that he had for Tomoyo talking, so he promptly ignored it. Regardless, the next year was going to be the hardest year of his life for he knew that Tomoyo attracted him greatly, and he also knew that to steal kisses from her would result in him promptly discarded on the floor by the heiress' fist. Yet, a part of him did not completely believe that either, he hoped that Tomoyo held some sort of attraction for him because she would not have born the few kisses that he'd already bestowed upon her with restraint. In other words, he was not nursing a dislocated jaw or a black eye yet. Oh yes, this one year was going to be amusing, if not the very end of him.

When they drove away from the Daidouji Manor, with well wishers from the gate of her house, the sun was long gone and Tomoyo was exhausted. She closed her eyes and breathed.

'Oh _God_.' She thought all of a sudden. 'I'm Mrs. Eriol Hiiragizawa'

"Oh my..." She said out loud. Eriol glanced at her and said nothing. After driving in silence for a few minutes, he then broke the silence.

"It's going to be harder for me than for you." He said softly.

"What?" She opened her eyes and looked at him, confused. He just smiled at her.

"You need rest Tomoyo. That is all." And from there on to the Hiiragizawa Mansion, the newly married couple rode in uncomfortable silence.

As Tomoyo stepped out of the car, Eriol came around and automatically took her hand. She was about to protest, but something about his firm grip kept her silent. When they reached the door, he turned to her, and with a sly grin and asked,

"Should I carry my bride through the threshold?"

"Eriol, I am six months pregnant, so unless you want a hernia, an aching back, strained knees and a bump on the head from the potted plant that I intend to hurl at you if you even attempt it or a combination of all four, I will be more than happy to walk through these doors, unassisted." Eriol pouted in jest.

"In truth, dear wife, you look small for a woman in her sixth month."

"It differs from woman to woman. And no, that does not give you an excuse for manhandling me through this door."

"You sure have a way of spoiling my fun."

"I'm your wife, its part of the repertoire." He said nothing to that and it was partly because the fact of having Tomoyo as his wife was finally beginning to sink into his mind.

"Oh, by the way, dear wife," He started, holding her hand as they walked down the hallway passing the sitting room and the music room, "Nakuru told me that she would be going over to England to do a re-shoot of her last modeling job. Odd though, she's never had a re-shoot before."

"The _week_!"

"Yes, the entire week." Eriol added with subtle amusement.

"I see."

One week, alone in this house with this man that was now her husband, without the distraction of Nakuru was going to try her patience greatly. "Eriol, I do hope you intend to keep the arrangements that we planned before we got married."

"Oh, don't worry Tomoyo, you will still get your own room, lock and all, and I will keep my raging hormones in check." Tomoyo could not help but laugh at that last part, sure she would admit that there was some attraction between the two of them, but she highly doubted that Eriol would pounce on her, or vice versa. Besides, when it came to unstable hormones, at the present moment she wins over Eriol, far and wide – she almost felt sorry for Eriol for what he was going to have to put up with in the next three months. Just because they were alone in his house for a week, did not mean that they would stay inside for all of the seven days. If she had to, she'd sneak out in the morning while Eriol was still sleeping, but she highly doubted that she'd be a prisoner here. Eriol Hiiragizawa was a lot of things, mostly infuriating things, but what he was not was the sort of man who would disrespect the wishes of others. That is, unless he saw it improper. "Well I suppose that I should be grateful that I didn't marry an enthusiastic adolescent pup." She said with a shrug.

"Should I take that as a compliment?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, squeezing her hand lightly.

"Take it as you like, but I am going to go and change out of these clothes now." Eriol let go of her hand, a little reluctantly, and watched as she walked away from him and upstairs to the room he had prepared for her, conveniently placed next to his. It was going to be a long week.

A moment later Tomoyo walked back down the stairs, seeing red and on spotting Eriol, charged towards him. He noted with wry amusment at how fast she was despite being pregnant.

"Eriol Hiiragizawa, I am going to throw you out of your own house, and if I wasn't so pregnant I would tackle you, and then throttle you." Eriol, not budging a step, only had one second to entertain the thought of Tomoyo tackling him because the woman looked angry enough carry out the throttling part of her threat. Holding up one hand he said,

"What is it Tomoyo?"

"_What is it!_ _Aho ka?_ All of the bedrooms upstairs are locked except for your cursed room, library and the office!" Eriol raised an eye brow. He had a clue as to who was responsible. He sighed and made his way towards the stairs, Tomoyo following behind him, not stomping, though he was sure she wanted to. He wanted to do some stomping himself. Reaching upstairs, sure enough, all the doors were locked except his office and his bedroom, and conveniently enough, Tomoyo's luggage was placed all in Eriol's room. This made him look as guilty as if he were the one holding the gun at a murder scene.

"Explain yourself Hiiragizawa." Tomoyo said in a quiet but, rather furious tone. He turned to her and shrugged.

"There is nothing to explain." He was certain that she would kick him there and then, but surprisingly, she didn't.

"What the hell do you mean by that! Where is the master key?"

"What I mean by that is that I can't explain anything because I had nothing to do with this, and I don't have the master key."

"What Master of the House does not possess their master key, especially with a house this ridiculously big?"

"Tomoyo, I don't have the habit of locking the doors within my house. It's only me, Nakuru and Spinel. There was never the need to lock anything in this house, and besides, traditionally it's the chatelaine of the house who holds the keys. Which presently speaking, is you, but you just moved in today."

"So who has it?"

"Nakuru."

"But she's gone for a _week_!" She had to calm down a little, she could feel her blood pressure rising, she just knew it was.

"Yes she is."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Tomoyo started to pace the length of the room, one hand on her swollen belly, her skirt swishing around her calves as she turned. She was quite the sight.

"How can I not?" She halted, turned and eyed him. She knew what he was going to say, and she was not going to like it at all. "We're just going to have to share my room until Nakuru gets back."

"I refuse." It was out so fast that Eriol figured she knew what he was going to say.

"Tomoyo, all the rooms are locked, the room with all the bed linen is also locked, it is December, despite the heating, this house still gets cold at night because the heating is mainly directed to the bedrooms after midnight and it won't be generally distributed until 5am. Yes, it can be adjusted, but..."

"Let me guess, the key to _that_ is with the master key."

"Right. So you see this is the only solution."

He looked at Tomoyo, she had stopped pacing and looked like she wanted to say something really badly, but couldn't, probably because she realized that what he said made sense. She fisted her hands to her side and turned to him.

"Fine."

She then pointed a finger at him. "But if you try anything." She then pointed to her stomach. "This child will be the only child you will ever father in this lifetime. Now, if you don't mind so terribly, I am tired, even more so than when I first walked through the doors, and want to change."

"Give me a moment while I grab my stuff. Your other things are probably in the washroom" He tilted his head toward the washroom, every bedroom had their own, and within a few minutes he was out of the room and Tomoyo was left to fume whatever fury was left in her. Eriol closed the door behind him after entering the washroom next to the library and leaned against the door. He did not know whether he wanted to strangle Nakuru for this little jest or laugh, but he knew that he had a very perturbed wife in the master bathroom.

Heading back to the bedroom after taking a shower, he turned the knob to find it unlocked, to his astonishment. Truthfully, he feared he was going to have to ram the door down. Quietly opening it, he saw only one of the bedside lamps was turned on and Tomoyo, staring out the veranda doors that led to the balcony. He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed, silently looking at her. Honestly, how did he expect her to react to such a situation? Cowering in the corner? Maybe in the next century. Even then he was a little doubtful. He stepped inside the room and closed the door. Tomoyo heard the door close and her shoulders instantly tensed at the sound. Her mind had wondered away from herself to the dark corners of her mind, the dark images that had come and gone from her dreams, from her thoughts, in the last six months. She was absently rubbing her temples as if willing away the unwelcome emotions. Why now?

At the sound of the door closing behind her, Eriol saw her hands drop to her side. He stepped away from the door as she turned around and when he met her eyes, he saw something there. Panic? Fear? Well, damn. She was scared. Surely not of him, for of all the years that he'd known her, he was almost certain that he gave her no reason to fear him – the blackest parts of him was kept away from the rest of the world, and even Nakuru has seen only an ion of a glimpse of it. Eriol saw her clench and unclench her hands. What the devil did she think that he was going to do to her? Ravish her? Cursed hell, their relationship had succumbed to this. They were man and wife, but strangers to each other, now more than ever. She was afraid, and he did not know why. Somehow, he did not like that one bit.

Tomoyo turned to see Eriol standing there at the door regarding her. She had turned off most of the light, so the dim lamp near the bed cast an ominous shadow behind him, and for some strange reason, it brought the darkness in her mind out stronger. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she could swear Eriol could her it from across the room. It was not cold in the room, yet she had the urge to shiver. She ardently commanded her body to be still and not to betray the fear that filled her, but perhaps her eyes said it all. The intensity of the darkness was getting stronger. Oh she wanted to weep, but instead let out a shaky breath. She was looking at her husband, but she wasn't seeing him. Regardless, she heard him take a step towards her and he was speaking to her, his voice deep, soft, but with a tint of frustration, and, was that anger?

"Come here Tomoyo." Her eyes widened. Why wouldn't her mind clear? She shook her head in a mild attempt to do so. Eriol read it a different way. Letting out an exasperated sigh he took another step. "Tomoyo, you've known me too long to be afraid of me." His mouth curved up slightly, "Actually, even if you didn't know me, you wouldn't be afraid of me. I've never thought you to be susceptible to fear, my dear."

"It's not you." It was barely a whisper, but he heard it.

"What are you afraid of Tomoyo." Another step.

"I don't know." It was then that he looked at her eyes; they weren't the sharp, attentive, intelligent eyes he was used to. They were misted over by faint tears that were not in danger of spilling over, but noticeable nonetheless, this fear, whatever it was, was closing in on her like a light mist. He hated it.

"I don't know." It was quieter this time, it reminded him of a child's scared voice, not the voice of the woman he married. He paled. Something was not right. He walked towards her and took her hands gently and pulled her gently towards him, wrapping his arms around her. Tomoyo could do naught but stand there and cling to his shirt front, her forehead leaning against his chest. Thankfully, the tears did not fall. His hands were on her back, stroking her gently as if she were a child. He kissed the top of her head and looked out the glass doors. God, he never wanted to see her with those eyes again, he would do anything to prevent such fear from coming to her, and yet he felt helpless, so he continued to hold her.

The dark shadows in her mind started to ease, but something lingered, something that she could not comprehend, what with her being exhausted, nursing a headache, fighting back both tears and nausea and being so close to this man who still remained a mystery to her after all these years. He was Eriol Hiiragizawa, her _husband_, father of her child – yet, she sensed there was something more to him, but she didn't want to think anymore, she was so tired, so exhausted. She started to lean heavily against him, suddenly feeling too drowsy to stand on her own.

"Tomoyo?" there was a slight alarm in his voice as he tightened his hold on her.

"I'm just tired, I'm sure I'll be fine in the…" She was cut off because Eriol lifted her clean off the floor and was walking towards the bed. All fatigue temporary left Tomoyo, replaced by shock. "Put me down Eriol, I can walk!"

"I'm well aware that you can, but just indulge me okay?"

He gently eased her on the bed and pulled the comforter up to just below her chest. He straightened, smoothing a stray lock of hair away from her face. Earlier, Tomoyo had eyed the couch against the wall facing the balcony doors. She had decided that she would take the couch to save herself from sharing the same bed as Eriol, but due to her cursed luck, things turned out rather reversed. Or, at least she hoped that Eriol would have the decency to take the couch.

"Are you…ah…" She paused. Eriol looked at her and raised one of his brows in question.

"Am I what?" To his surprise she started to fiddle with her hands. He knew what she was going to ask him, and he could see that it clearly unnerved her, and even embarrassed her. But good heavens, seeing Tomoyo out of sorts was a novelty indeed, and he planned to enjoy every moment of it.

"You know…" She let out a grunt of frustration. "You know what I'm asking Eriol!"

"Do I?" He was grinning, the bloody sod was grinning. Why on earth was she the stammering virgin all of a sudden? She chastised herself angrily.

"Damn you, Eriol." She started to stand up. "I'm taking the couch." His hands were on her shoulders pushing her down again. It was becoming too common an occurrence, she vaguely thought.

"You will do no such thing."

"Then you will?" The lady had hopes in her eyes that he would say yes. He wanted to laugh, bitterly although be it, but laugh nonetheless.

"No, I will not. Sorry Tomoyo, but I am not going to be thrown out of my own bed."

"And you call yourself a gentleman." She replied bitterly.

"Only when it sees me fit, my dear."

"I'm taking the couch." Lord, the woman was stubborn.

"If you even try to make a move towards that couch, and may I remind you that that is a good 15 paces from here, I will simply come after you, pick you up, dispose of you on the bed and promptly tie your hand to that bed post for the rest of the night." Tomoyo's eyes widened.

"_You would not!_"

"No, I figure that would have my father throwing curses at me from the grave. Rather, I'd tie you to me, is that better?"

She threw the heaviest pillow she could find at his all too arrogant face as a response. He caught it. Again. Damn him.

"I don't suggest you do that, if you make a habit of it, by the time this week is up, all the breakables will, no doubt, be broken." He eased into bed, easing the pillow Tomoyo hurled at him behind his head as Tomoyo rolled herself to the far end of the bed, giving thanks that it was a king sized bed. She heard Eriol turn off the lamp and settle onto his down on his pillow. As to whether his eyes were closed, she didn't know and she was not interested in knowing.

"Come here, Tomoyo." Tomoyo wanted to groan. He was persistent, curse him.

"Why?" Acid in her words. She felt the mattress shift as he sat up and turned towards her.

"I figure," She could hear the smile in his voice and wanted to hurl a pillow at his smug face. "Since I am to be robbed of my husbandly duties on my wedding night, can't I at least hold my wife to keep me warm?"

"Go to hell." She hadn't budged from her spot at the very edge of the bed.

"Such warm words Tomoyo. In truth though, I don't want you falling off the bed, especially in your condition. No, don't scoff, I am being serious now. I've seem how you sleep, you're used to your wide bed and you like sleeping smack dab in the centre of it too, I really think you'll find it difficult to stay on the bed if you plan to occupy that tiny space." The infuriating man was right, damn him to the end of the world. When on earth did sleeping become such a complicated matter? Still she did not budge.

"Good night." There was a tone of finality in her voice that told him that she was not going to oblige. Eriol sighed and laid down again on his back staring at the ceiling and he couldn't help but smile in the dark. It was always entertaining teasing Tomoyo, even more so now that he was married to her. He didn't know how that worked exactly, but there it was.

"Good night, Tomoyo." Realizing how exhausting this day had been, he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. He was definitely going to talk with Nakuru when she got back.

A little after midnight, Eriol woke up feeling something warm against him. Tomoyo had managed to migrate from the edge of the bed and curled up against the closest source of heat.

In this case, him.

Her head rested against his shoulder and she was breathing softly against his neck and her hands lightly tucked in beneath her chin and somehow, his left hand found its way around her shoulders. With his free hand, he smoothed one of her brows and smiled down at her, shaking his head a little. He shifted to his side towards her and pulled her to him, holding her closer and caught his breath when her swollen belly came into contact with his flat abdomen. Miracles indeed. She didn't seem to notice, the lady was dead to the world. He tilted his head down and whispered,

"Why do you have to be so impossible?" Placing a light kiss on her head, he held her closer still and almost immediately fell into uninterrupted sleep for the rest of the night.

Pale early morning light crept into the still room the next morning, awakening Tomoyo. First she was confused because this certainly did not feel like her bed. Second, she was stunned because she felt someone else's slow easy breathing above her head. Then she turned bright pink. She did not know how, and it was probably due to her cursed habit of sleeping in the center of her bed, but during the night she ended up exactly there in the arms of her a sleeping Eriol. She was always stunned anew by how different his face looked without his glasses. She wanted to curse fluently for all her bad luck because not only had she done what Eriol asked her, unconsciously or other wise, but she felt comfortable here with his arms wrapped around her. She figured this is what a caterpillar felt like in its cocoon; warm and protected. She silently tsked herself, stifled a half yawn, half sigh and closed her eyes once more. The next time she opened them it was to find Eriol awake, sitting up against the headboard reading a book. He turned his head towards her when he felt her move.

" 'Morning." She greeted him, still half awake.

"Good morning, yourself." He replied giving her a brilliant smile. She struggled to a sitting position, one hand on her belly.

"Okay, fine." She told him, more awake now.

"Okay, fine what?" He was smirking, she could swear he was smirking, or horribly failing in attempting to hide it.

"I'll share the bed with you this week and won't be such a prude about it."

"Really?"

"Really." He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She looked up at him and frowned. "What was that for?"

"That was to thank you because I was not really liking the prospect of sleeping on that couch for the next six days while you hogged this big bed." At that, Tomoyo shoved him as hard as she could and in his unstable sitting position, he promptly fell over to one side.

"_Saitei!_" She exclaimed and quickly got out of bed and out the room without a second look back. Eriol was chuckling as he righted himself and adjusted his glasses.

"She will never bore me." He told the empty room.

**tsuzuku**

A/N: Hark! It's a miracle, an update before the year is up. Ahahah, but it still took awhile so my apologies. As you may have noticed, there is no cliffhanger at the end of this chapter because I can't have Tomoyo fainting ever chapter now can I? We don't want her to go through that and it would just be plain redundant LOL. No, just kidding, I'll try to figure something out in this brain of mine that is a little bit of a change from the last few chapters. So yes, you get a clean ending, sort of. I'm afraid that school is in high full swing, midterms, essays and the whole shebang so I don't know when the next chapter will come, but know that it is already in progress and 1/5 the length of this chapter so far. As always, thank you for your thoughts, complaints, compliments because even though I don't update like they matter – trust me. THEY DO. So my undying thanks for your support.

Japanese note:

_saitei _-literally means the worst, the lowest, or horrible, in this case I guess it would go like "You are the worst" but hey, why say it in four English words when you can sum it up in one Japanese word?

_Aho ka_ - is one of my favorite expressions and it goes somewhere along the lines of "Are you stupid?" or "Are you an idiot?"


	11. Seventh Month: Breaking the Surface

Disclaimer: CCS is NOT mine. Though dear heavens, the fluff that I pull out of my half insane head is! YAY FLUFF!

**This Time Around – Seven and a Half Months: Breaking the Surface**

Tomoyo sat before the piano in the music room, humming a tune while one hand accompanied it on the piano. Eriol had gone out to pick up something at the university, and Nakuru, bless her soul, was out shopping for baby clothes, so it was just her lonesome self this cold Saturday in January. Well, not truly alone, and as if on cue, the child in her womb shifted a little and Spinel stretched his lithe body before curling up into a ball again on the settee not too far away from the piano. The first month of life with Eriol had gone by rather well, despite her doubts in the beginning. If anything, it was as if a little bit of the old friendship that they possessed had returned and made the days even enjoyable. Certainly they played the part of the married couple when surrounded by friends and family, holding hands, a light kiss on the cheek here and there, but Tomoyo knew that she and Eriol both understood that it entailed nothing, except to keep the people around them from suspecting anything.

The entire first week where they were forced to share the bed had gone by without further incident except for the fact that Eriol insist that he hold her as they sleep. Tomoyo found that she could not deny him this because she herself felt safe there and that was the only reasoning that she would allow herself.

Anything else she quickly labeled as foolish thinking.

They commenced sleeping in separate rooms, as planned, when Nakuru had returned from England, profusely apologizing to Tomoyo for taking the key with her thus, forcing her to share the bed with her brother. The married couple had called her after their first night telling her of their little dilemma, but her schedule left little time for her to traipse back home and hand over the key. Eriol had believed that she deserved an Oscar for that little performance. Despite this, it was not as if they were not completely left with only each other for company the first week together, as Tomoyo had feared. On the Wednesday of the week of their supposed "honeymoon", Sonomi had visited them for lunch, and the following day Sakura, Syaoran and Koen followed suit. Christmas and New Years was spent with the extended family, and as always, was an enjoyable time of the year for everybody, especially for the two year old Koen who quickly caught on to the joys of the holidays.

Tomoyo had no words for it, but it seems as if all the anxiety of the past month had disappeared in one month, and she supposed that she should credit Eriol because he was actually amiable and understanding.

She was beginning to like the man all over again.

She smiled grimly, the last note of the melody she was playing dying out into silence. However, there were times when she would catch him looking at her strangely, but whatever showed in his blue eyes during those moments would disappear so quickly that she wondered if she had imagined it. Well, there was no point on dwelling on something unimportant, and perhaps illusionary on her part. If anybody had any doubts as to whether there was something unusual about their marriage or not, no one made any show of it. Both of them still had to be very careful. Tomoyo shook her head at how unpleasant her thoughts were becoming and shifting on the piano, she launched into Chopin's Etude no. 3 in E major and let the music absorb everything else around her. Oddly enough, Eriol stayed in her mind. She blamed the fact that she was using the piano that she heard him play on so often in the many years past.

One thing only a few people knew about him was the fact that Eriol Hiiragizawa was a musical genius when it came to the piano, and the only other person that she knew who could rival him was Touya Kinomoto, but neither men knew that the other had such musical talent. Tomoyo scoffed lightly. It was probably because they thought it would undermine their masculinity in some way or another. Men.

Her fingers slipped as the pace got faster and faster. Tomoyo stopped without finishing the piece. 'More practice' she sighed. Eriol would have played on with vigor, keeping up with the intended pace of the piece, regardless of a few missed notes here and there – not that anyone listening would notice. Tomoyo sighed again, with frustration this time and started the piece from the top once more, stopping only at the sound of the door bell.

While his wife was busy pounding the life out of the piano keys in the music room, Eriol sat in his office at the university, his thoughts never wandering far from Tomoyo. Part of the reason why he was at the school was in truth, to pick up some things, as he had told Tomoyo on his way out, but the main reason was because it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his promise to Tomoyo. There were many moments when he just had this urge to touch or hold her hand or lean in and kiss her on the cheek or mouth, whenever she was close enough and whenever they bid good night to each other and headed to their respective rooms, he felt an empty longing within him. By Friday, Eriol knew that he had to put some space between them or he would be sorely close to the breaking point. He clenched and unclenched his fist feeling frustrated and extremely disgusted with himself for behaving like a randy goat. Well, what could one expect? He was a man of the world, flesh and blood, not a blasted marble statue.

He quickly disregarded the fact that this emotion swelling from within him was love. A man like Eriol could no longer afford such a luxury. It was a good thing that he had realized that in the past before he had done something extremely foolish. But he decided that despite the fact that he was practically a damned soul, companionship is something no human can live without

Eriol learned a lot of things in the last month; a lot about Tomoyo and a lot about himself. He found that Tomoyo was becoming more comfortable around him, simply because he was acting as he was before - before anything happened to mar their friendship. She was smiling more openly and seemed less like she wanted to bolt out of the room the moment he walked into it, as it had been the first few days of their marriage. Sure there were moody days for her, but what would one expect from a woman in the middle of her third trimester?

Overall, it seemed as if some of the old comradery had returned and they were more like roommates boarding in the same house rather than a married couple.

They slept in separate rooms for God's sake. Eriol gritted his teeth.

One thing that Eriol discovered about himself was that he had a will of steel.

One that was being pulled thin with each passing day.

Another unsettling thing that he discovered was that he wanted to just throw their contract out the window and start from scratch. That was probably the hormones talking as well. He had been too long without a woman, but he'd cut off his right arm and leg and any other vital organ before he would go off and dishonor the vow he made to Tomoyo the day he married her, regardless of the fact that it was a marriage of convenience. Eriol found that he did possess a lot of dark qualities, but one thing anyone could count on him for was his loyalty. It would probably take a lot of bodily harm and emotional trauma before he broke the promises he made, and even then he didn't know if he was capable of such dishonor. Besides, emotional trauma and Eriol Hiiragizawa were two things that did not go together. Yet, at the same time he knew that it would be dangerous for both him and his fair wife if they continued this charade for longer than at most, two years. His heart was trying to tell him something, but before it could form into something tangible, he quickly shut the door on it.

Suddenly, as if somebody had changed the channel on a television, what he saw before his eyes changed. He was no longer seeing the frame hanging on the wall across his desk, instead he saw what his mind suddenly started to remember, things that he was sure were not in his memory before.

And he knew he had an excellent memory.

He saw himself running through dark streets in the dead of night – anxious, angry, his adrenaline pumping, and frustration all mixed in with a brew of other indescribable emotions. But, there was one that drowned out all the rest: Bone-chilling, Gut-clenching Fear.

He blinked twice before realizing that he was staring at the framed picture on his wall once more and not staring down an endless, dark street. He was awake the entire time this was happening, and he blamed his past life for this ability to recall the past as if it were happening right in front of him, actually if he were the kind of person, he'd blame all the misfortunes that have befallen him on the wizard's soul that dwelt in him and it would be a justified claim for the most part too. There were days when he thought that if he ever met Clow Reed in the afterlife, he would punch him just once for everything that he had been put through just because he was the vessel of his soul.

'_Home_'

The one word echoed in his mind, clear and undeniable, it was also without his invocation and the hair at the back of his neck stood on end.

'Get _Home_'

Eriol stood up in one quick motion, grabbed his jacket, keys and the folder he came for and left the office without a second look back.

Tomoyo had just finished at the piano when the doorbell rang. She looked at the clock just as it struck 6pm. It was probably Nakuru who had the tendency of forgetting her keys or having too many bags to open the door with. With a hand on her back, Tomoyo stood from the piano bench and made her way to the entrance. It was still winter, so darkness had already fallen an hour past.

Syusuke Nara stood before her, a charming smile on his lips and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

Eriol drove home as fast as he could. He felt a chill at the pit of his stomach and he just knew that no matter what, he had to get home to make sure that everything was okay. Sure, he could have called and heard for himself if Tomoyo was okay, but then again, he was about to head out anyway, he thought, justifying his actions. Where on earth did that word come from anyway? Regardless, he had to assure himself with his own eyes that all was well and then after, and only after can he stand back and admit that maybe he's losing his mind a little bit. Getting home in record time, he practically ran to the door. His jaws locked when he found that the front door was unlocked. The wind outside picked up around him as if sensing the tension flowing through his blood, lifting his midnight hair from his neck. He opened the door and stepped in without hesitation. He was greeted by his wife's melodic laughter floating from the music room accompanied by a lower voice, a male's voice. If Eriol had ever denied that he was the jealous or possessive sort before, the emotions bubbling from within him at that very moment just about threw every ounce of those very denials out the window. Long strides across the floor quickly had him at the threshold of the room where the first thing he saw Tomoyo sitting on one of the high back chairs facing the fireplace, the face of the man he could not see because it faced away from the door.

The smile quickly disappeared from Tomoyo's face when she saw Eriol at the door, his mouth set in a thin line, his hair, deliciously wind tousled.

Tomoyo stopped.

She did _not_ think of the word "deliciously" to describe the angry looking man at the threshold just now did she? No, there was no mistake about it. She was losing her mind. Even from where she sat she can sense, if not see, that everything about him was tense. He was fit to strangle someone. She stood up slowly, cautiously as if a wild panther had just entered the room.

"Eriol," She started towards him.

The man stood from his chair and turned to look at him, a jovial smile on his lips, a gleam in his brown eyes. He was shorter than Eriol by two or so inches, Eriol, was all solid, chorded muscle, whereas Syusuke, with his wealth leaving him to deal with very little physical labour and his interests having never leaned towards physical exercise, was lanky if one was honest in their opinion, slim, if one was generous. He was also a few shades lighter than Eriol, and possessed wavy, dark brown hair and brown eyes that almost edged to hazel if the light hit it, some things he inherited from his European mother, no doubt. His face was all smoothness and charm, his mouth easily susceptible to smiles and laughter. His innocent looking face was what had women flocking to him and it was that very same face that Eriol wanted to plant his fist into. Maybe this time, it'll break his nose, he thought with grim amusement.

"Good evening, Eriol" He strode towards him, his right hand out as if to greet him with a hand shake. When he stood before him, the master of the manor did not take his hand in greeting, merely looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Syusuke put his hand to his side with a shrug.

"Nara, what are you doing here?" His voice was ice, but the other man did not notice, or pretended not to.

"To offer my congratulations, of course. To you, and your lovely bride," he turned his head and nodded towards Tomoyo, who for some strange reason did not move from her spot by the chairs. It was like a strange scene from a horrible stage play with Eriol and Syusuke by the door and Tomoyo across the wide expanse of the room, not moving, not speaking. In truth, if someone told her she was holding her breath while this exchange happened between the two men, she would believe them. The air got thicker; surely they all could sense it.

"Thank you." Tomoyo could have sworn she felt chills down her spine as Eriol spoke those words. She thought she was going to scream from the tension when the blessed chimes of the clock saved her from such an embarrassing display.

"Ah! It is about time that I get going, I have an appointment this evening. No need to accompany me, I can see my way out." He said in a carefree tone.

"Oh no, I'll gladly see you out" Tomoyo had found her voice again, and from the dark look on her husband's face, he did not like the words that she chose to voice. She sent him an exasperated look and ignored him, accompanying Syusuke out of the music room and to the door. Eriol saw no choice but to follow a few steps back. He was not going to allow that man to be alone with Tomoyo if it was within his power to prevent it.

And the last time he checked, he had a lot of power. But what he didn't know is that his wife would try to thwart him at every turn whenever he would try to exert that power over her.

The door finally closed, Tomoyo eyed her husband warily. His eyes were flat and held no expression, tension emanated throughout him and Tomoyo could not guess what was going through his mind, nor did she care to find out, for that matter. But it was not to be her choice.

"Why the hell did you let that man into my house?"

"Excuse me?" All anxiety vanishing, she immediately straightened and arched an elegant brow.

"You are not allowed to go near that man again, do you understand me?"

"No I don't understand you, as a matter of fact, I think you are being completely irrational."

"I am not being irrational." He fought the urge to raise his voice so his point would get through to her stubborn head. "That man is dangerous and I refuse to stand by and allow you and my child to be put at risk."

Tomoyo scoffed. "He's hardly dangerous."

"You don't know men Tomoyo. Despite the fact that you are married and carrying my child, in many ways you are still an innocent. Trust me on this, wife." He pinned her with his steely blue eyes on the last statement, as if daring her to defy him. Tomoyo, as Eriol learned, was not a woman who would shy away from dares. She raised her chin and stared right back at him. No withering flower, this woman he took for wife.

Their scrutinizing glares clashed. A Violaceous Tempest versus A Cobalt Squall.

Though she felt the need to shake her fist at the man for his obtuseness, she kept her hands at her sides and, taking two steps forward, she spoke in an even voice.

"Listen. I understand that, as a man, you feel the need to protect what you feel is yours. It is no doubt a ridiculous part of man's masculine nature. But, I am my own person and I can handle things fairly well on my own. I don't need you to be sulking behind me trying to intimidate every single Y-chromosome toting person that comes within five feet of my vicinity. And what is with the way that you are talking? My _this_, my _that_? As I recall this became my home the day I became your wife; the day we married, for convenience or no, we vowed to share all the other person had; and last time I checked, this child is as much mine as he or she is yours. I will not have you telling me who I can and cannot associate myself with. I have known Syusuke for a long time, why should I not feel safe around him? Even in my own home, for that matter? Lastly," She stood, shoulders back, chin high, and as if a metal rod was at her back – very much like a regal empress who had been sorely offended. "Don't you _dare _accuse me of endangering our child." Her voice as cold as an Alaskan winter.

Eriol felt like shaking her, not for the first time either. Bells went of in his head and something had told him to get home as fast as possible. He rarely ignored his intuition, the times that he did, he learned things the hard way, and now his wife stood before him, questioning him and openly defying him. It could not be had.

He took one step forward, with both the grace and menace of a jungle cat.

"I apologize for thinking that you would intentionally harm our child, it's not very well done of me, but I am your husband, it is my responsibility to protect you, and the moments when you don't seem to, or flatly refuse to understand my point are the times when I feel I need to stick to you like your own shadow or be mildly tempted literally knock some sense into you. Oh, don't look so shocked, Tomoyo, you know to your bone that I would never harm a woman, I said only mildly tempted." A wry smile played at his lips.

Another step

"Second, you _are_ my wife and this _is _my house, though I will concede that I should remember to classify the child you carry as _ours. _Though you must forgive me if I have a lapse in my memory, after all, you will learn one way or another that I am a possessive man."

Tomoyo felt like a cornered bird as Eriol closed in, but she refused to take back a step and forced her body to listen to her will. Thankfully her mind won, but he was still moving towards her. He executed two more steps and they were almost toe to toe.

"As for sharing, I quite agree." He took one more step, forcing Tomoyo back two and she found her self against the door, and as Eriol braced his arms on both sides of her head and leaned forward, she also had no where to go. Her eyes, level, met his chin. She tilted her head up a little and saw his lips. Something both familiar and unknown shot down her body. It was also something she chose to adamantly ignore. Her eyes moved up once more until she met his blazing gaze and found that she could not have moved even if the walls around them were burning to ashes.

He was walking into dangerous territory, but he did not care one bit. The woman drove him to distraction, and sometimes he believed that she did it on purpose, now he felt that she had pushed him to his limit.

Tomoyo saw that Eriol's eyes burned blue flames, and as much as she wanted to, she would not look away. Pride was both her vice and virtue.

He had changed.

Because of one visit from an old mutual acquaintance he had changed into someone extremely dangerous. Gone was the easy going, collected gentleman who she shared the house with for a little over a month now. The man before her was someone that she did not know, though her mind was beginning to tug and pull in different directions, telling her she should know this side of him, she has seen the fire in those eyes before, felt the tenseness from his body at one point in her life, but she could not remember when.

All of a sudden she was not seeing Eriol anymore; instead, she saw a shadow of a man whose face she could not see, a man of dark and evil intent. This man was capable of shameless violence and he had her trapped, in his icy grasp, she was at his mercy and was helpless once more. The darkness assaulted her on all sides, but she refused to succumb to it.

"No." She mouthed the words but nothing came out of her mouth. Eriol tilted his head to one side, his brows burrowed together as he watched her face, something was terribly wrong.

"No!"

This time it was a scream, one filled with fear, panic and anguish. Eriol was so taken aback that when Tomoyo brought up both her arms to push him away with all her strength, he stumbled back, almost falling.

"Stay away!" She sobbed out the words as she sank to the ground, the door behind her as support. Her arms wrapped around her swollen belly, her afflicted gaze staring straight, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Stay away." She whispered. The fear in her eyes when she looked at him was something that would take a long time for him to forget. Though he knew that it was not him who she saw, he was pained that Tomoyo went through something in the past - something clearly dreadful - alone, scared, unprotected. He was infuriated that somebody had done this to her and he made a silent vow then and there that the culprit would pay, with their very life if need be.

Eriol wasted no time getting to her. He knelt before her and gently took her shoulders, but she tried to shrink away, even as she had no more space to retreat to. Dropping his arms to his sides, he looked at her face and realized that her eyes were glazed and incoherent, obviously not seeing him. She was seeing something else that was not there with them physically, rather she was looking at and experiencing something in her mind, a buried memory that resurfaced. One most unwelcome.

"Tomoyo."

She continued to sob quietly; completely oblivious that he had just spoken her name.

"Tomoyo, look at me." He attempted to gently grasp her shoulders once more, but when she shrank back yet again, shivering, Eriol did not release her. Instead, moving his hands from her shoulders to cup her face and leaning forward so his forehead touched hers, he whispered to her, his voice firm and filled with an anguish all his own. "Please." He brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "Look at me." Taking a shaky breath, Tomoyo's watery eyes met his. Seeing, with great relief, that she recognized him for who he was, he sat beside her, lifted and gently cradled her in his arms.

"Tomoyo, hear me. I would never hurt you. I promised you that I would never, ever harm you or our child, and I will keep that promise until the day I die. Do you understand me?" Though he spoke in a quiet voice, it was filled with so much resolve, passion and perhaps a hint of anguish that anyone who heard him would not doubt that he was a man of his word. He would take out his own heart before he harmed a hair on Tomoyo's head.

"Please say something."

"Eriol?" She looked up at him with an expression so lost that it brought out such a fierce protectiveness from Eriol leaving him with no words. Instead, he tightened his arms around her in response, and gently kissed the top of her head. "What is happening to me?"

"I don't know, darling." Finding his voice again, though it sounded low and gruff even to his ears. He was trying so hard to keep so many emotions at bay.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she felt so lost and confused. It seemed as if her mind was no longer hers to control, images and emotions came and went unbeckoned, usually unwelcome as well. Everything was alright minutes ago, everything was whole, but something broke through all the walls in her mind, and in moments, everything shattered and a nightmare began to take form. The only thing that was real to her now was the warm, firm body that held her close, anchored her and kept her from drifting away into the ocean of sorrow and darkness. Burying her head between the curve of Eriol's neck and shoulder, she wrapped her arms around his back and held on tight, afraid that if she let go only a little she would drown in her own fear. In the protection of his arms, she let her emotions go and held nothing back. Sobs wracked her body, and Eriol felt each and every shudder to his very core, his skin absorbed the tears that she shed. She was releasing most of what was locked within her, and she did not even know what had brought her to this point. What she knew was, that if she tried to put up a strong front, she would break, and if she was forced to be honest, if even only to God and herself, she would rather fall apart in her husband's arms than alone.

Eriol grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He would do anything, _anything_, to keep Tomoyo and their child safe. If such a resolve existed before within him, it was strengthened and refined now, perhaps partly because of the fact that he felt such an impractical surge of guilt that he was not there to protect her the first time, whatever it was that happened. There was so much more happening here than what either of them could see and it seemed that the key was the memories that were breaking through in both of their mind. Though both of them experienced it, it seemed that Tomoyo was getting the worst of it and there was nothing he could do to shield her from her own mind. But he would not let guilt get to him now, especially one that was not well grounded. His wife needed him.

"I'm right here Tomoyo. I will always be right here."

He felt her nod. After a moment her tears slowed, then abated completely, yet they remained there on the floor, holding onto each other, as if relinquishing the embrace would mean being washed away into their respective, unknown storms.

**tsuzuku**

**A/N:** Um hello, I got this up in less than a year! Yay! (ducks from hurled objects) I must say though, I am liking where this story is heading. What? You thought that was up to me? You've got to be kidding XD! The characters run around loose in my head doing whatever they like, though most of the time they disappear completely which is why it takes so long for me to update. I know that it's hard to understand, but trust me, forced writing is not good writing, it's better to just go with the flow even if I myself go "What the?" At whatever it is that I see coming onto my screen, even if it is me that is typing out the words. This, Dear Reader, is called the magic of writing, though I will have to be strong and watch where Tomoyo and Eriol's relationship goes, if I am not careful, this story will end up being shipped to the AFF page XD, yeah not really ready for such a transition right! If you guys have any questions about anything in my story, please e-mail me and I will try my best to clarify. If I know what you guys go "Huh?" over, it will definitely help me write more clearly. As always, THANK YOUS all around! You know that I know that you rock!

**Random Vocab:**

_Violaceous: _of a violet color. My WordPro does NOT recognize it, but does ahahaha!

_Cobalt: _an intense shade of dark blue, also part of the periodic table ahahah, and maybe even a name of someone's son. Wouldn't be surprised really.

_Relinquish: _to stop holding, physically

The _Y-chromosome_: quick bio lesson guys, ahahah, sometimes even I forget this: Guys have the XY chromosome, Girls have the XX chromosome. Get it? Good! So in the future if you don't have sons, blame your husband/partner mkai? XD


	12. Eighth Month: One Truth

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura, Tomoyo Daidouji, the ever delicious Eriol Hiiragizawa and all the characters OF Cardcaptor Sakura do not belong to me. They are accredited to the wealthy women of CLAMP who really should share some of that money with me because I AM SO LE POOR!!!!!!!!

**Author's (long arse) Note: **

I suck. I know I do. I really, really do. Sure I moved to Japan, but that was five months ago, I'm more than settled now. If you're still reading this story then you have way more patience than a rock. And I am not worthy of your loyalty.

_Thank you. _

Reading the earlier chapters, I have noticed a change in my writing style. I am sorry for that too! I don't know what happened! It was a gradual thing and I am trying my darndest to get it back to the way it used to be! Or trying to find a nice constant ground. (aka: reading more ENGLISH books instead of Japanese manga.)

I realized that one of the reasons my updates take so _pathetically_ long is that each chapter is _ridiculously_ long, and I tried to make the succeeding chapters just as long, if not longer. Now, writing 5000 word chapters is just taxing on the brain and causes me to be verbose and my story line to be confusing, so I'm watching myself now. (In other words expect 3000 word chapters that are verbose and confusing XD XD XD)

A random note: even though a good chunk of you probably aren't interested (as if that would stop me from telling you anyway hee hee!) I am influenced by the works of Catherine Coulter, Julia Quinn, Susan Carroll, Nora Roberts, and Jane Austen (bet you didn't see that last one coming XD) because I'm an incurable romantic like that. I've just managed to get the entire new Nora Roberts trilogy in my greedy little hands (go Amazon Japan!!!) I've been so English literature deprived!! Still no excuse I know, I still suck. But my thanks to you! And hopefully I can finish this story this year!!!! YES! Now I'm sure I should write that out in blood somewhere…

* * *

**This Time Around: Eighth Month One Truth**

Tomoyo had fallen asleep in his arms, and Eriol was glad for it. Her pain was something that he wanted to absorb into himself, but for all the wisdom and power he possessed, it was one of the abilities that he lacked. He looked down at his hands, hands that have done many things that no human ever would think possible, hands possessed with power that he did not ask for, but over time learned to understand and accept. Yet now, even holding his wife in his arms with those same hands, they felt empty and useless.

'Bloody good you do me.'

Trying not to jostle her, he adjusted her in his arms, stood up and made his way up the stairs, moving with both strength and great care. Without any hesitation, he went straight to his bedroom. He would not leave her alone this night. There was always the chance that her demons would haunt her in her dreams and he would not wait until they did so. He liked to think that the nearness of him would protect her from her nightmares, because, honestly it was all he could do for her. After pulling blankets to keep her warm he just sat there by the edge of the bed looking at her sleeping face, a tight fist forming in his belly. Why her? It seemed that no one was willing to answer that right now, so he brushed some of Tomoyo's hair back, touched his lips gently to her brow and headed back downstairs to double check that the main door was locked.

Protectiveness, loyalty, the thin line of control he had left and something mysterious that moved him from within, brought forth only because of one woman - these were the things that kept him from tearing the city apart, from going absolutely mad with frustration. He felt like he was losing his mind with everything that was going on around them. If it was only him that was experiencing these phantom visions, he would have been able to reasonably reflect and then act, maybe they would have gone away in time. The bottom line was he would have been able to deal with it alone. But the fact that Tomoyo was also caught up in this got to him more than it really should have. But it was _because _Tomoyo was involved that Eriol felt that he needed to get to the bottom of this and fast. He had to hold on to his control for the both of them.

To be involved with a wizard meant the unpredictable for a normal human, and apparently, Tomoyo was no exception. But even he was at a loss as to what had happened, or what spell he had cast over the both of them, if it was a spell that he had cast.

And if so, why the bloody hell would he cast something that would be so harmful, if not physically then emotionally to, both, his own person and someone close to him?

Nothing made sense and he was exhausted. Between this new mystery, keeping Syusuke Nara away from his wife, and keeping his own feelings towards said wife in check, he had a lot on his plate. He wouldn't think on that now though, he needed rest, needed to hold Tomoyo in his arms and tomorrow would bring a new sun. He made his way up the stairs to his bedroom where he laid Tomoyo down, who was now tucked in and in a deep sleep. Eriol, at this point, was all of a sudden too tired to do anything save take off his jacket and settle down into bed, not even awake enough to go beneath the covers. Using the last of his energy, he gathered his wife in his arms and closed his eyes, the scent of citrus and flowers filling his senses as he fell headlong into a dreamless sleep.

Or it _was_ dreamless until the darkness began to take shape, take form, and once again Eriol was back on the cold dark streets, cold, angry - _panicked_. For one with a disposition such as his, only dire straights would lead him to panic. But that did not matter, for even in his dream he could not remember what would invoke such an emotion, it was so foreign to him. All he could see was endless darkness before him and the concrete at his feet. He could hear the pounding of each running step, the beating of his heart reverberating in his ears. He was shouting out someone's name, but it was muted. If he could not hear his own voice, then certainly the person that he was searching for would not hear it either. But of everything that was going through his mind, it was the feeling that he would not get where he needed to be soon enough that resounded loud and clear through his mind. That he would be too late. This feeling tore at him with every breath that he took. It was as if he as being suffocated by his own fear.

He had to get there, he _had _to.

The longer he ran the more convinced he was that he was getting nowhere. It was as if he was running in circles. His breathing was labored. How long had he been running?

Minutes?

Hours?

He had no sense of time, no sense of direction. All he could do was run and yell out a name that even he could not hear.

God, please let him make it in time.

Suddenly his pounding feet fell through the ground, and he was falling into a pit of darkness, heaviness in his belly the weight of an anchor caused by the guilt of his failure.

Maybe he did not make it after all.

Suddenly he woke up, gasping for breath as if he'd been underwater for longer than his lungs could handle. He took large gulps of air. Then he remembered that he was not alone in his bed as he felt the warm body of his wife move slightly in his arms. He was surprised that he did not squeeze her awake for he was holding on to her as if she was his only salvation. Eriol lay awake a few moments, breathing in and out, staring at the darkness, breathing in the scent of Tomoyo's hair. Listening to Tomoyo breathe helped ebb the tide of unwanted emotions away, and he gained control of himself, his shaking easing as he leaned a gentle kiss on top of Tomoyo's head. He had never been so frightened before in his life. There were only a few experiences where he felt so out of control, and he did not care to conjure up such memories right now. As he let his thoughts runaway into different directions, sleep found him once more and he rested, undisturbed for the remainder of the night.

Tomoyo had awoken the moment she felt the tightening of something around her chest and shoulders. She opened her eyes to darkness and found that she was unable to move because Eriol had her locked in a tight embrace. Her arms also held captive by his hold, could not be used to wake him from his fitful sleep. She had tried to say his name again and again, but her voice was still weak from sleep and fatigue. When she frantically and foolishly feared that the only thing that she could do was kiss him awake, he awoke by himself, like a drowning man breaking the surface of the water. He gasped for air but he did not release his hold on her. It seemed that her slight movements woke him up. Tomoyo held still, she did not know why she did not say anything, but as he caught his breath, she closed her eyes and evened her breathing. There was no point in talking it out now, they were both clearly exhausted. She would bring it up in the morning.

That is if she could face him in the morning. She hated showing weakness to anyone, especially Eriol. A woman's pride could only take so much. And heaven knows that she has more proud than one could shake a stick at. That aside, it was frustrating all the same. An untangible enemy, boy did she have her work cut out for her. She may look fragile, and maybe she was, but there was no way in hell that she would back away without a fight. She had more to lose now.

Tomoyo opened here eyes again and just lay there listening to Eriol breathe. She knew how he tries to be her knight, and her hero. But she realized that he had demons too, more than any normal person had to deal with. She flattened her hands over his chest and felt his heart beat. Strong and sure. As if feeling the heart beat as well, the babe in her womb shifted a little, then settled. She had spent nights in the same bed with Eriol. A week and a bit to be precise.She felt protected and safe in this bed with this man, and it was a thought that she rather would not think about either. But at the moment, she could only feel grateful for the company; for the Good Lord knew that she needed his strength.

If Eriol got caught up in another restless sleep, she hoped that she would be able to wake him up, and then they would have no choice but to talk about it. The the baby was quiet again, asleep, tucked safely between his parents.

If the child was troubled by the turbulent flights of emotion that Tomoyo was going through, there certainly was no sign of it, and of that she was glad.

Her eyes remained closed even as Eriol kissed the top of her head and slowly fell back to sleep, stroking her hair, surprised at the gesture would bring her a sense of comfort. All the same, it soothed her troubled mind, and she was soon asleep once more.

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Tomoyo awoke to find herself in her own bed, as if she had been there the entire night. But she knew she was not, the memory of sleeping in Eriol's arms was foremost in her mind, as well as the fact that he had nearly suffocated her with his embrace as a nightmare took over his sleep and all she could do was talk to him in a quiet voice, even though she was not all too sure if he heard her. It seemed as if he was discovering something he would rather not, traveling the same road that she was. Tomoyo then decided that they had to talk, they had to be honest with each other now, maybe, because her memories were starting to leak out little by little, if she talked about it, it would induce all the hidden memories to come forth and form a whole picture. Though she admitted to herself that if she were given the option, she would rather not know because what she saw in those moments of recollection _scared _her, like nothing had ever before. She slowly got out of bed, one hand on her swollen belly, and after putting on her robe, being only vaguely surprised that she was in her nightgown and not the clothes she had on the night before, walked out the door with as much grace as a woman, who was almost eight months pregnant, could.

Eriol looked up as she entered into the room, all drowsy and roused from sleep, waddling a little from side to side.

Heaven help him, she was beautiful. He approached her before she could seat herself, took her hands and brushed his lips across her knuckles, all the while his gaze holding hers.

He smiled, "Good morning."

She swallowed, hoping that he didn't notice her throat work, "Good morning." Why couldn't he just step back a little and give her some breathing space? Didn't the man know that his presence across a massive chamber had people turning heads his way? His presence this close was just down right lethal.

She swallowed again.

He smiled, eyes sparkling as he regarded her discomfort. She was going to have to get used to it because he made a decision that morning as he leaned against the headboard of the bed watching her breathe in and out.

He was not going to give her up. Not for his messed up past, not for her stubborn pride, not for whatever it was that landed them in this present situation. Not that he was cursing it at all, because regardless of what had happened, it led Tomoyo to him. He was going to find a way to make this work. No, _they_ were going to find a way to make this work. Of course he was not going to tell her that he was going to back out on their pact.

For the first time in his life, Eriol had contradicted himself. A man whose word was as good as his life decided that he would break this promise that he made to his wife, and he would cherish doing it. Because in breaking one promise, he found that he is able to keep the other one that he made to her – the one he made before man and God. That vow, he would never break. Was he in love with her?

Curse it all, yes.

It was definitely going to be work to try and convince her this would work, he might even have to put all of his emotions out on the line, which he rather would not do until she all but happily gave into him. But all he knew was that he wanted her by his side, infuriating him with her pride, making him laugh with her charm, accepting him for everything that he was. So maybe he was half in love with her, if there ever was such a thing.

Tomoyo cleared her throat, "Why did you put me back in my bed this morning?" Instantly regretting the words the moment she said them. She wasn't thinking, all she wanted to do was to get him to stop looking at her as if he was going to kiss her, or devour her, or, God save her, both.

"I didn't realize that you liked it better in my bed, darling."

His voice was all smooth velvet.

Damn. Damn and damn again.

Damn _him _to the devil for the flirt that he was.

She really had to start thinking before talking, especially to him. At a loss for words, she bit her lower lip, drawing his gaze away from her eyes to her lips.

"Er, no it's not that. It's just that, why would you go through the hassle."

He raised an eyebrow at her and smiled. Hell and damnation, she was digging a hole for herself.

"No hassle at all, I just look for any excuse to have you in my arms, sweetheart."

Another endearment.

She grinded her teeth, oh how she would love to shove all those sweet words down his throat one day.

Tomoyo felt as if he would say something more, but Naruku decided to bound into the room at that moment with all her energy, regardless that it was 8 o'clock in the morning.

"Gooood morni…oops." She stopped mid word after noticing the tension in the room. "Bad timing."

"Not at all!"

Was it Nakuru's imagination or did Tomoyo's voice sound a little more high pitched than normal? She watched in interest as Tomoyo quickly retreated to the end seat, letting the long table separate herself from Eriol, that is Nakuru assumed that was the intention of Tomoyo's actions.

Tomoyo was only too grateful for the interruption. It was way too early for this, she thought, wanting to bury her head in her hands and groan her cursed luck. The truth of it was, Eriol's flirtatious advances were growing on her and she felt that she was running out of ammunition and defense. At the moment she wanted to throttle the tiny devil of a voice in her head that was telling her, "Oh to hell with it! Why don't you just jump in his arms and kiss him senseless?"

Heh, not in this life time. Besides, she was eight months pregnant. Jumping, highly not advised.

Eriol all but raised an eyebrow towards his ward, as if to say a sarcastic "Thanks for the intrusion." He walked towards her and gave her a brotherly kiss on the forehead, whispering, "You do so have impeccable timing, my dear."

"It's a talent." She smiled at him while giving his shoulder a playful punch.

The rest of breakfast went smoothly, thanks to Naruku and her bright stream of chatter, mostly talking to Tomoyo, as if sensing her distress. But it could only last for so long for after all the dishes were washed she said that she had to talk to her agent about work, and with a cheery farewell was out of the house.

Once again husband and wife were left alone in the kitchen.

Those dark thoughts lurked in Tomoyo's mind. It was a small seed that grew over time. Yesterday's episode just added to the fire of doubt to the point that she had to know the truth.

Even if it was one she feared.

Eriol leaned against the wall watching Tomoyo dry the dishes, not saying anything. He could sense it in the air how she was having an internal struggle with herself. So he just stood there, watching her, waiting. For what? A sign that she has completely taken a leave of her senses and fallen uncontrollably in love with him?

Who was he fooling? But, at the moment he was wishing his imagination had an off switch because it was not helping him one bit. What's a healthy man like him to do? They were all wishful thinking and dreams. And he has been having a lot of them, dreams that is, both pleasurable and not so, the latter being proved by his subconscious roller coaster ride last night.

Her deep sigh broke him out of his reverie.

"I have to ask you something, Eriol." Eriol pushed himself away from the wall ready for anything she had on her troubled mind.

"Anything."

"Are you sure you are the father of my child?"

An icy shock ran through his spine. Well, almost anything.

"What?"

"Do you think that you are the father of this child?" She then turned to him, both hands resting on her swollen belly, her eyes clouded over with worry.  
"After eight months, why would you ask that now?" His voice was deep and even, not letting her have a glimpse of what his thoughts were after such a question.

What crazy thoughts has Tomoyo been entertaining in her head? He wondered. Those dreams must be dark indeed.

"Of course I think that it is my child. Why do you doubt this all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. Dreams are haunting me, I am slowly remembering things that have been locked away in my mind and," She broke off with a sigh and a subtle shudder that did not go unnoticed by her husband.

"And?"

He urged her to continue, stepping closer towards her.

"To be honestly frank, the night before I… before we… before I woke up in your bed, something happened. And whatever it was, I know that you weren't there, none of my family was near me, I was far away from everything familiar and I felt that someone was threatening my life. I thought that I would die that very night." She let out a deep breath, proud for having said that last line without so much as a hitch in her voice, but it made her feel so cold from the inside out that she couldn't help but shiver.

Thinking of the possibility that he could have lost Tomoyo that forgotten night made his heart clench a little. He took both of her hands in his grasp and raised them to his lips, kissing them both.

Bending a little so that he could be more at eye level with here, and solemnly told her, "I wouldn't have let you."

She couldn't help but smile at him. Even now he was playing her saviour, and yet she believed him. He would have done, would do, anything in his power to protect her.

"I know." As with most of the things she's done lately, without thinking, she leaned and gave him a chaste kiss on one of the corner of his lips, then quickly took a step back, forcing Eriol to let go of her hands.

The warmth of her lips still lingered, no matter how short the contact was.

"But there's also something else." She went on. He tilted his head in response, but she would not continue until she was sitting down, as if what she was about to say would take all the energy she possessed. "I can't help but ask myself whether I was," she stopped taking two deep breaths before speaking again.

"Whether I was raped or not."

The last words were said with her eyes on her lap.

Eriol knelt down on one knee next to her, reached out and tilted her chin up with his finger so that he was looking straight into her troubled eyes.

Lord above, how he wanted to make them shine with the brightness that they once had.

"And this is why you are asking me if this child is mine?"

She gave him the barest of nods.

Then to her utter surprise he smiled at her.

One of his dazzling, arrogant as hell smiles.

She wanted to break away and start yelling at him that there was nothing at all amusing about this, but before she was able to do anything he wrapped his arms around her.

"Ah my darling, I don't know just how dazed you were that following morning to not notice. But let me tell you that I had all the ample evidence to reassure you that you weren't raped that night. Unless of course it was me." He could say such a thing because the thought was so ridiculous and absurd. He would personally, and very capably, damn his own soul to hell if he ever committed an act so dark and violent towards her.

"_Had_?" She repeated.

"Why yes, '_had'_, because I had the sheets washed that exact same day."

"Oh. God." Tomoyo groaned, suddenly wanting to burrow beneath the ground, not because she was upset in anyway, but because it was so embarrassing to have Eriol tell her that she had left the evidence of her virginity on his, probably ridiculously expensive, sheets. Her mind must have been in one hell of a shock because she did not notice anything at all even as she took a shower after getting back to her place and then promptly blacking out on her bed.

Eriol chuckled as she wrapped her arms around his back tightly and buried her head into shoulder as if trying to hide. He remembered what had happened after he got over the shock of that morning, blood on his sheets, amongst other things, that he knew was not his. He paced and he worried, wondering if Tomoyo was okay, but the coward that he was could not bring himself to face her at that moment.

"You have nothing to worry about, darling. I was the one who took your virginity that night and,"

_And I don't regret it for one moment_.

He caught himself just before he was about to voice those thoughts.

"And that child you carry is as much a Hiiragizawa as it is a Daidouji."

Even as tears trickled down her cheeks, she chuckled a little as relief flooded through her. She kept her face buried in his shoulder because she was sure that she was a rather expressive shade of red. "You know, I never thought I would be so glad to say this, and don't you dare remind me that I actually said it, but, you don't know how happy I am to hear that." She told him in a muffled by his solid frame. Eriol felt something stir within the deepest crevices of his heart. Moved to the point of speechlessness he did nothing for a moment except continue to hold her until finally saying,

"Good. Because I'm afraid it isn't something that's exactly exchangeable."

She pounded his back gently once, in jest.

"Oh, be quiet, you."

For once Tomoyo was content to hold and be held. A rare sense of peace stole over her, making her hold on to Eriol a little tighter, as if trying to hold on to that peace.

_**tsuzuku**_


	13. The Unraveling: Beyond the Ninth Month

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura, Tomoyo Daidouji, Eriol Hiiragizawa and all the characters OF Cardcaptor Sakura do not belong to me.

**Author's Pre-chapter Note: **

Dear readers, I think this is where I should warn you that this story starts to do a complete 180 and…well I want to use the words "all goes to hell" but it doesn't, I know it doesn't, I wouldn't continue it if it were going to hell. Or perhaps I would've, but that's neither here nor there. In any case if this story were to have a "Part TWO" this is where it would start. I know, I know what drug am I on to even consider having a part two when part one took four years right? But I actually see the end of this story – approximately 5 chapters, more or less, to go. And even though the word "beyond" is used, this not the last chapter. Lastly, if you couldn't tell with the 12 chapters that came before this, this is CCS AU to the _MAX_!! OOC is also very apparent, but that's the beauty of being the fanfic author, if you don't like the original, you can always tweak it until you do. Now let's all get to _really_ know Eriol…! (No not in _that_ sense, sorry, out of the gutter y'all LOL!)

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**This Time Around: The Unraveling (Beyond the Ninth Month)**

True happiness, true joy rarely fell into a man's lap in his lifetime. Surely they were things that were only seen in movies or in books, or, frankly, in everyone else's life except Eriol Hiiragizawa's. He had been resigned to the fact that his life was one of hidden complications. One cannot explain the special purpose of Eriol's life and expect the listener to just accept it – it wouldn't be normal, and so his world had been limited to those who truly knew him, the few who he allowed to know the truth about him, those considered his friends and family. But some things he would not let even family access, certain memories that even he did not want to touch.

As for love, the man simply never considered the possibility, so, naturally, Eriol considered himself a lucky man as he watched his wife asleep on the bed, the cradle that held their sleeping son beside her. It had been six weeks since the birth of Akiyoshi Hiiragizawa and haunting dreams not dared disturb the Hiiragizawa household. But a dark power lingered, leaving everything fragile. Everything around him could shatter, break and fall away. Both Eriol the reluctant sorcerer and Eriol the man knew this all too well. One does not live the life he has lived and grows to be comfortable. Something lingered, it was an unsettling feeling that he felt down to his bones. He was always alert, always watchful of the world around him – even before there was the danger to Tomoyo he has always been naturally observant, always ready. Now he was just more meticulous with his observations, especially around Tomoyo. He sat up from his chair and left Tomoyo and their son as they rested, slipping away without a whisper of a sound.

Making his way downstairs, he remembered the day that Tomoyo had gone into labor. Later, she would tell him that in comparison to what her mother went through, it was an easy birth. It sure as hell didn't look like it. Eriol was a worldly man, he has had his share of experiences, he had seen women go into labor, held memories of his predecessors going through one experience or another with it, he has even been in situations where he had to deliver the baby himself. And he was always awe-struck at the strength that women possessed. He knew that men would cower at the thought of the pain women went through to populate the world - that is if men could even imagine what they went through. If it were up to the male species of their race, he was sure that humanity would have died out centuries ago. It made him respect women even more. Yet, it was a completely different situation altogether to watch Tomoyo go through it. He had stayed with her in the room, placing himself behind her so she could lean on him as he held her hand. At first she bore the pain quietly, never crying out loud, chewing on ice or biting down on her lips so hard until it bled. The amount of pain that she went through was measured by the strength that she held Eriol's hand, so he had an idea of when it was bad and when it was worst. Then she surprised him, because as the contractions got more frequent, as the relief between the pains grew shorter, as the grip on his hand grew tighter, he truly believed that she would start reprimanding him, cursing him, blaming him. Hell, as impractical as the thought was, he could not help reprimanding, cursing and blaming himself. But she did none of that; instead she gave a tight smile through her pain and attempted humor, saying,

"You don't think we could tag team and you take care of the rest of these contractions, do you?"

His heart somersaulted.

"I would, my brave girl, you don't know how much I wish I could."

Through gritted teeth she replied,

"Ah, well, you wouldn't be able to handle it anyway."

He just gave a soft chuckle and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

_I would, my love, for you I would take on all the pain in the world._

But he kept those thoughts in his head.

A groan escaped Tomoyo as one of the stronger contractions overtook her body, and she grasped Eriol's hand as if he were an anchor.

Eriol didn't mind in the slightest, it was the least he could do, but he could not help but frown a little when he saw how white her knuckles were as she held on to him or how pale her pallor had become in the last few hours.

"_Ganbatte _Tomoyo." Yuki's gentle voice broke through the tense atmosphere. "It will be all over with one more push."

"Alright, let's do this so all of you can have breakfast." Her voice was strained as she rode out the tail of the last contraction. Her water broke at around 7pm the night before, it was now almost dawn.

Yuki smiled, "That's our girl."

Eriol said nothing. Her valor humbled him like nothing else could, but he could feel her growing tired, and he really could not blame her, it had been almost twelve hours. Reaching inside of himself, he filled Tomoyo with his strength.

She felt it.

A tender warmth traveled from where Tomoyo and Eriol's hands were entwined, flowing through her, golden strands of warmth comforting and strengthening her, so much so that the last push was not painful, she just felt a lot of pressure and then all of a sudden a hearty cry filled the room just as dawn broke.

If by some insane chance Eriol continued to deny his true feelings for Tomoyo by then, he was certain that he would have thrown his hands up in surrender to his emotions the moment he saw their child in her arms. She had turned to him and whispered, "Thank you." While giving him a tired smile. But it was a smile that he would hold with him for eternity, for it was meant for him alone.

They had given their son the name _Akiyoshi_.

Shining Power.

One day, Tomoyo would explain why they gave him that name once he was old enough to understand the heritage that he was born in to.

Eriol took the memory and tucked it away, in the protection of his heart where he would always find it. And as he emerged from his reminiscence he found himself in front of the library's fire place. He took a step forward until he could touch the bricks of the hearth.

Then he took two steps to the left.

He reached out and started to write on one of the bricks with his index finger, in a language long forgotten and then tapped the top right corner of the brick.

One could never be too careful, and Eriol made sure that an unwelcome stranger's dumb luck would not allow them passage to the secrets of his home. Without so much as a sound, the fire place sank to the floor, revealing a wide, spiral stair case that led down into darkness.

As he began his descent, he took all the pieces of the events in the past year and tossed them around in his head hoping for clues. Indeed, Shusuke Nara's attempt in possessing Tomoyo for his prize may have been a metabolism, but it could not have been him. Sure, the man was a lying, chauvinistic, rot of a man; but he was not clever. However, he could not dismiss him completely either. He was certain that his enemy was in the shadows, someone more powerful, powerful enough to perhaps use other people to do their bidding. How he could know this for sure when he had nothing but dreams to fall on must surely sound ridiculous, but his internal alarm told him not everything was as it appeared on the surface. Eriol, who rarely used his special abilities used them now and walked down the seemingly endless stairs in extraordinary speed. He made no sound as he continued his decent, until he reached his destination and his foot steps echoed in the vast chamber.

One that he locked away, not thinking that he would need it again so soon.

In very Eriol-esque manner, his gait was calm, unperturbed. He may as well have been taking a stroll down to the bookstore for all the world cared. But the opaque storm in his eyes told a different story. Eriol's mouth was drawn into a taught line as he considered what brought him to this place again. In his attempt to try for as normal a life as possible he had shut away almost everything that had to do with his unique heritage and inheritance.

No one would be able to imagine such a room existing below the building of such a mansion; the vaulted ceiling was a hundred and fifty feet up and there were no windows to let any natural light in. On the wide expanse of the floor was the crest of Clow, etched on the ground with sacred fire which Time nor man could not erase nor disturb.

There was enough space to summon a dragon or two.

But there were no dragons here.

Not in this world or time. Mankind made sure of that. We are a handful of greedy fools, Eriol thought to himself. But he felt that he was no better because Eriol came to this place between worlds and Time to summon truth, in order to keep everything that he treasured. Sometimes a person got burned if they came too close to the fire. He did not care about the danger, even though if one would look at his world from the other side of the glass, they would see everything that a man could ever yearn and wish for. Loyal friends and family, an extraordinary wife and a healthy son– this is what they would see, just like a painting. They would not see what lurked beneath it all, the darkness that, if left alone, could take it all away from him.

Just let them try.

He would protect his own, at all cost. He stepped towards the center, no sounds except his foot fall and the almost whispered clinking of the necklace that he held in his hand.

The Key of Eternity.

Passed down from generation to generation, predecessor to successor - to those who would take on the life and abilities of Clow Reed. It was a small key, intricate in its engraving, at the head a sapphire so dark it looked like night made tangible through a stone. Only when light shone on it did its blue hue come through. When he arrived to the center of the chamber he held out the hand with the key and spoke words in an ancient tongue, words that he would never forget for it was engraved in his very soul.

_Magick born in the Times before man,_

_Come to my aide._

_As master of this key I beckon_

_The Gates of Light, of Darkness, and of Time._

_Show your true form as is my right to command,_

_Release!_

Eriol felt the power flow through him like fire in his blood. It had been so long since he'd used the key and yet the flow of magic came so naturally to him. This was a testimony that the power that he inherited belonged to him and him alone. It was probably one of those things that were deemed by the heavens and carved by lightening in some ancient stone somewhere, he thought wryly. Yet, as the key took form and shape into a scythe of black night, its designs complex, its powers capable of bringing both darkness and light to humanity, Eriol felt that like, it or not, it belonged in his hands. It was a part of him as much as the magic that flowed through him was a part of him. The key was massive but to Eriol it was as light as a handful of leaves. In truth it weighed as heavy as it looked and no one would be able to wield it unless they were the rightful owner. This characteristic was a safeguard in itself for it would crush the person who dared to unrightfully covet it.

Eriol stepped forward and began to move. With dancer like grace, he began an incantation, spinning on the balls of his feet while designing intricate symbols in the air with the tip of the powerful key. Power flew through him, around him, streams of light danced and sparkled where the tip of the key touched, a brief materialization of the spell that he weaved.

And then he was still.

Unmoving, a granite statue with blood flowing through his veins, the rise and fall of his chest almost indiscernible – but every cell of his being was fiercely alive, waiting.

He was Eriol Hiiragizawa, the Sorcerer, once more.

The sapphire of the key sparkled as Eriol held the scythe forward, and in the same ancient tongue that he used to release the key, he spoke again:

_The Wind that shakes Time,_

_The Earth that gives life,_

_The Light that reveals,_

_The Dark that conceals,_

_Abide in this place._

_Heed my humble call and come forth._

Eriol tapped the key-scythe on the floor.

Once.

Twice.

And as tremors of light and shadow swept through the floor of the chamber, majestic double doors made of wood and gold emerged from the ground, leaving no scar on the earth, no hole on the ground as it appeared. It came to exist before him as if it were an illusion. But this was no magician's trick with smoke and mirrors, there were no illusions here. It was time to get some answers and there was only one place he knew most certain that he could get them. Without second thought or hesitation, Eriol stepped forward and grabbed one of the golden handles. Swinging the door wide open he stepped through, the doors closing and vanishing behind him, leaving the chamber, dark and silent once more.

**_tsuzuku_**

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**Author's Post-chapter Note: **

Thought you've heard the last of me in this chapter eh? My apologies! But as you read, I CLEARLY did not use the original incantations used in the series because I had a hard time finding the Japanese script and there's now way on earth that I would use the English ones from the dubbed version. So I hope you didn't cringe too much XD. Lastly, their son's name, "Akiyoshi" is spelt using these kanji characters: 明力 And in case you didn't know, one kanji character used in Japanese names can be read in a number of various ways, so, before I confuse myself with all this, and thus confusing you, I'll leave it at that. The first kanji stands for "bright/shining" and the second is for "power/strength"

The next chapter will be up next Saturday. (Go start placing your bets LOL)


	14. The Resolve: Into the Night

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura is the fruit of CLAMP's ingenius minds. Hence, I own none of the characters, props, and storyline of said series. None. Nil. Neich. Zilch. Capiche?

**Author's Pre-chapter Note**:

To my Dear Readers, Holy jumping monkey, I managed to get this out on Saturday (okay technically I'm 42 minutes late, it's 12:42 here in Yamagata, but I'm sure it's still Saturday where the most of you are, so forgive me? Please? ). My eyes are beckoning for me to go to bed at the moment, which is usually a sign that there are probably some missed grammar and spelling errors in this chapter, which I promise to amend as soon as my eyes and brain start cooperating with each other once more. This chapter is also about getting to know more about Eriol, sadly, with his clothes on. Sorry, girls. Alright, on with the story!

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**This Time Around: The Resolve - Into the Night**

Eriol stepped beyond the threshold of the massive doors to enter a room that was very much like the library in his own home, but it was midday here whereas it was almost midnight in his world. He was welcomed by warmth as a fire burned in the massive fireplace and late afternoon sun shone through the massive windows east of the hearth. There was a sofa to the left and right of the hearth, and in between, a single chair that faced the fire. The very chair itself seemed to say that only those who emanated power were worthy enough to sit in it. And though he had little doubt about his abilities, he did not sit in that chair, besides he had a similar one in his own home. But mainly because this particular chair was almost always occupied, as it was now.

"Do have a seat Young Eriol. We have much to talk about." The melodious voice came from the chair that he was contemplating earlier.

"It's been a while." Eriol greeted as he made his way across the expanse of the marble floor. He recalled that he'd been called 'young'. Well he certainly didn't feel it.

"Indeed."

Eriol stopped behind the sofa that faced the window and regarded the man who sat in the single, high-back velvet chair of burgundy – tall, straight, handsome, elegant.

A man of the world, of uncontested power in his time.

Clow Reed had long ago retired his Magician's robes, and preferred the Regency England fashion of starch white shirts, well-cut long jackets, high collars and elegant cravats. His long, silky, jet black hair was swept back and tied at the nape of his neck with a black ribbon. Who was to judge how he dressed? Humans could not see him, and the only one who could - well his criticisms amused Clow more than it aggravated him, so much so that Eriol just stopped saying anything and let his eyes do the talking. Clow almost chuckled to himself. His present successor was a very unique individual. Of course, all of those that came before Eriol were special, they had to be to be able to endure the gift and the curse that it was to carry on Clow's life through memories and sorcery learned through centuries. But Eriol, he was the most powerful and the most prepared out of all of the others. And the boy was all of four years old when he was introduced to his special inheritance.

Which both pleased and worried Clow.

Surely there would be repercussions. One did not exist for so long not to understand the concept of give and take.

To add to that, Eriol was also the one who condemned Clow the most for his selfish experiments with immortality, calling him self-centered, self-involved, power hungry and a variety of other colorful adjectives that need not be repeated. But Eriol had the ability to know what Clow's thoughts were if he tried, and if he took the effort to he would see just how much the weary Sorcerer wished he did not go and create a spell that would force a handful of people away from the chance at a normal life. He knew that now, but he was, of course, hundreds of years too late. Just as how he knew now the reason why Eriol came to him after so many years was the fault of the powers that Eriol wielded.

The man may not know it, but Clow did.

There were those who abused the powers given to them, those more power hungry than Clow ever was, those greedier, those who had sold their soul for power and had allowed the hunger to turn into an evil so black, no light could penetrate it. Now such a being targeted Eriol. They knew that to get to Eriol, they would have to get to those closest to his heart.

Clow steepled his hands together and regarded his progeny as he took his seat on the sofa. They had much to talk about indeed, and though he knew Eriol like no one ever could, he admitted to himself that he did not know how Eriol would react to everything. There was a massive amount of information that was missing from his memory, more than Eriol thought was missing.

"She was kidnapped that night." Eriol turned his dark blue eyes to look at Clow the magician spoke. "She is the one who you search for in your dreams."

Still Eriol said nothing. He had learned well that one waits until Clow finishes speaking before saying a word, though at the moment he wanted to curse in all the languages that he knew how to speak, but still he waited. "She is the one who you found in your dreams, naked and alone in a dark room."

Eriol was sitting bent forward, his elbows braced on his knees with his hands clasped together. The only indication that he heard all that Clow was saying was how white his knuckles were due to how tightly he was grasping his hands. He wanted to lash out, but knew better. He knew that his enemies were not here, they were out there, somewhere, waiting for him to make a move, waiting for him to fail. Eriol smiled. A cold humorless smile that did not reach his eyes.

"Ever one to get straight to the heart of the matter, aren't you?"

"You were never one to dawdle yourself." As if to prove Clow's point, Eriol then asked,

"Why was Tomoyo kidnapped?"

"She is obviously bait. They're after you."

Eriol swore now, fluently, in various languages. It was the last thing he had expected to hear. Tomoyo was a beautiful, wealthy woman, not to mention heiress to one of the largest companies in the corporate world. Of course there would be many reasons why some bastard would want to get their hands on her, but he never once considered that one of those reasons would be to get to him. Why? He asked himself, basically screaming it out in his mind, powering out his frustration and anger, but uttered not a word. Clow stood up and walked to the fireplace, but turned to face his companion as Eriol's words echoed in his mind as well.

"You know why." Eriol's head snapped up to look at Clow but remained silent. "Tomoyo matters."

"What different does that make? Nakuru matters. Koen matters. Sakura, Syaoran, they all matter."

"I have known you to be many things Eriol Hiiragizawa, but stupid was never one of them."

Naturally, Clow was right, the damned insufferable man was always right.

_Always_.

Under most circumstances, Eriol was practical and pragmatic, and among his many gifts, he had this uncanny ability to discern lies from truth. But apparently if the truth had to do with his heart, he decided to go blind, mute and incredibly dumb. If anything, Clow would have been the very first to know about his emotions. Eriol, himself, did not even know when he started loving Tomoyo. When denied so long, one tends to forget.

Toss all that nonsense about people saying that one knows the exact moment that they fall in love. Maybe to some it may be a lightning bolt experience, but for him, it was a seed planted many years ago. With time, it grew and thrived, and eventually wrapped itself around his heart so tightly that ignoring it was no longer an option. Eriol sighed.

"Yes, I love her more than I thought I could love any one. But I didn't always know, you have overestimated me because I was stupid for refusing to see it. But how would _they _know."

"Naturally, they infiltrated your world, those who you worked with, those who you interacted with. They took one of your human enemies and made a pawn out of him. Through him, they found what would make you vulnerable. Or in this case, who."

"Nara." The one word had contempt dripping from it.

"Yes. But pay him no mind. He is of no matter in this. He never was. He is a foolish human, consumed with greed therefore easily manipulated." Eriol tried to process all of the knowledge that he had just attained, but found that he was very close to having his first migraine, ever.

"And what? They want me because I am an almighty sorcerer?" He said it half mockingly.

"You _are_." When Eriol scoffed at this, Clow's voice went even lower, softer, unrelenting steel behind every word.

"You are more powerful than you ever give yourself credit for. You underestimate yourself, Eriol Hiiragizawa. And I know indefinitely that if you are ever defeated that will be the very reason why. I warn you for your own sake, do _not _take your powers lightly. Ever."

The two formidable men regarded each other for a moment. Clow's eyes almost daring Eriol to challenge his words, but surprisingly he only found acceptance. Weary, but acceptance nonetheless.

"But to answer your question, it's not so much you that they want. Sorry if that is a blow to your ego. They are after the key."

Eriol raised an eyebrow on his comment about his ego, but decided not to follow up on it. Clow gestured for the key and only then did Eriol realize that it was still in his hand. As he handed it to Clow, he saw the angry red imprint of it in the palm of his hand. He had been infuriated and confused about everything that he was hearing that he did not even realize that he was gripping it hard enough to become a tattoo in the palm of his hand. Clow held the necklace by the chain, letting the key hang freely in the air, the fire causing the sapphire so sparkle.

"This was one of the very first object I created using my magic. As I grew with in power, I worked on it, improving it, strengthening it, perfecting it. This key has only become stronger with each passing century, enhanced by the ability of its user. You are its eighth Master, and one of the most powerful. What your powers bring to the Key of Eternity has made it a weapon the likes of this world has never seen."

"But I've safeguarded it. Don't tell me these people have magical abilities that match yours?"

It was Clow's turn to scoff.

"Hardly. But they still have the ability to bring out the darkness in the key, the malignant power that lays dormant within it. The Key is the balance of Light and Darkness. You know very well without one, there is no other."

"If you are stronger than them then why are they such a threat?"

"Partly because they've managed to hide themselves so well, walking in the dark, and partly because I do not exist in the present world, Eriol. I exist in you. My powers are yours as well, but there is always a cost." He paused and stared into the dancing flames for a moment before continuing.

"I'm sure you are well aware of this for you've experienced the aftereffects of your powers and mine combining." He turned and walked back to his chair and then looked straight into the young man's eyes. His voice was rich and melodic. Some may even call it beautiful, those listening just had to listen to it and soak up everything that he was saying.

"I let you deny what you truly were for so long because I understood you needed a semblance of a normal life after what had happened twelve years ago and considering that there was no great danger to you since then, I believed that there was no harm in such a thing. But I am telling you now, if you want to protect Tomoyo, your son, everyone who is important to you, take up your mantle Eriol. It was rightfully yours to begin with; learn to live with it fully."

Twelve years ago.

Eriol thought he had forgotten that day. The truth was, he wanted to forget but knew he never would. At sixteen, he was cocksure of his powers when he obviously had so much to learn and Eriol had learned his lesson the hardest and cruelest way possible. Having your father die in your arms is a day one would rarely forget. In his grief and rage, he was able to completely utilize his powers as well as Clow's, making him lethal to mankind and to himself, he had been completely unstoppable, and he remembered the feeling of having lost control. But some part of him had come to his senses and reached within for the Sorcerer to help him stop the uncontrollable power he had unleashed. He then lost consciousness, waking up to find his father's lifeless body next to him, and his enemies, literally rendered to ashes. Eriol had no recollection whatsoever at what had happened, Clow volunteered no information and Eriol did not ask. It was the last time he had come across enemies with powers like his. It was the last time that he utilized his magic to its full potential and it had nearly killed his father, and nearly him. He believed resolutely that his magic was the cause of his father's death. And now Clow was telling him to use those same powers once more so that he could protect those he loves. Eriol felt the sensation of something akin to being buried alive by his duties, but just as sure as he knew he was the Clow Reed of the present world, he would not shirk his duties now. For so long, he felt like he had been traveling an empty road – he did what he was destined to do and then he would move on.

Alone.

Always alone.

And then came Tomoyo. Tomoyo who was worth everything he had ever possessed and so much more. She had given him a son, a family. She completed him, and if he let her, he knew she would complete the shattered pieces of his soul torn apart by his past.

As he regarded the fire, suddenly he felt it, a flash flood emotions and the downpour of memories that were filling his mind.

He remembered going to Tomoyo's house to apologize about the way he had been behaving only to find it empty. But the alarms in his head went off, something was obviously wrong. Tomoyo's wallets, keys, cell phone – things he knew she would not leave home without were all still there. And then he felt it, the evil that lingered like a calling card, calling to him, daring him to follow. He was out the door without a second thought, knowing that if he did not get to Tomoyo in time he would never forgive himself. No, he did not even allow himself that thought. He was going to find her – there was simply no other option. Eriol had jumped into his car and followed the trail of darkness. He remembered driving for a long time, until the sun had set. The strange thing was, it was only 6:00pm in the afternoon, but it looked to be midnight outside. He stopped his car and stepped out. Whatever menacing presence he felt in Tomoyo's apartment felt stronger here. Fear and anger coursed through him and he felt the familiar rush of power that he felt twelve years ago, but he did not care. Damning all the consequences and throwing caution as far into the wind as possible, he summoned the shadows and in mere moments his physical form disappeared. He would find darkness faster if he was darkness himself, and so he moved in the shadows in preternatural speed, the fire that was initially his anger had turned into ice. He knew full well that with his emotions running freely he would accomplish nothing, and once more, he would lose someone important to him. Well, not this time, God help him, not this time.

The trail led him to an abandoned building. No exactly run down, but it was no longer in use and the notice of demolition on the fence only confirmed the fact that. It would be nothing but ruble before the week was out. But the scent of evil was so pungent here; no insect or animal dared to go near the place. He wondered if even normal human beings would be able to notice it and safely avoid this place. He hoped for their lives they would.

He noticed movement on the first floor and made no hesitation in continuing forward. He did not make a single sound, a silent predator. There were two armed men guarding a door, and behind it were three more men. He could not see them, but he could hear their heartbeats, strong and steady. Separated from the five, he heard a sixth heart beat, pounding fast and frantic, it reminded him of a hummingbird. It was the only sound he focused on. He knew it was Tomoyo. Even though he was only down the hall, the two men did not notice his presence, he was still hidden in the shadows, but not for long. He yanked the key from his neck, not caring that the chain broke, and released the Key of Eternity to its full form. He cast a safeguard in the room where Tomoyo was kept before he stepped forward, pointing the key-scythe forward. He cast an incantation with a whisper, causing tiny threads of light to come from all sides, encircling him, illustrating ancient symbols in the air, that appeared and vanished like smoke. It caught the attention of the two men who raised their guns to fire at him, but it was a waste of their energy. Those bullets would not pierce, would not even reach Eriol.

"_Luminus._"

He did not shout it or yell it out loud; instead he spoke it quietly, in his own melodic voice, carrying every ounce of his resolve. An eerie silence followed as if the world and everyone in it was put on pause. Then the entire place and a good three kilometers surrounding the building were thrown into a world of painfully blinding light, holding the unnatural night at bay, blinding and burning the skin of the five men in the building. He heard their screams of pain but it affected him not at all. He cared for nothing except for Tomoyo's safety, and he would see it through no matter what the cost. The world continued in the bright light that Eriol had cast, the only shadow being him as he walked past the two guards, who had now lost consciousness. He proceeded to the next room where the three other men were also in the same condition as the men outside. As he approached the door where Tomoyo was held captive he waved his hand sharply to one side and the barrier he had set around the room as well as the light spell he had cast dissipated, the world dwelling in the night once more, but it was not as dark as it had been when Eriol had first arrived to that place, it was not the black ink of night that it had been but a natural dusk. The key had reverted to its original form, and was pocketed with care. He opened the door a little, and there he saw her, in the corner of the room. Tomoyo was crouched, arms wrapped around her legs, head buried in her chest, her wealth of hair curtaining her face. He felt her stiffen as he stepped in the room, but she did not raise her head. Moving towards her in the same silent manner he did everything he saw that she was without clothing, her skin had bruises and cuts scattered all over. And it was all he could do not to go out there and the five men another round of the searing heat his hands had cast. But they did not deserve a second thought, with his last spell, they would be in pain for a very long time, that would be enough. He would not have another handful of unmeaning death in his hands.

As he got to an arms reach of her, he bent down on his haunches. He could not hear it when he was at the door, but he could hear it now – her sobs, so quiet that he could only hear it when he was that close to her.

"Shhh, sweetheart. No one will hurt you anymore, I won't let anyone hurt you anymore, I promise." Still he made no move to touch her. "Tomoyo."

She moved slightly, giving sign that she heard what he said. She tilted her head a little until her blanket of hair fell away revealing her face, her eyes sparkling even in the dark from the tears, her cheeks streaked with wetness.

"Eriol."

It was all she said before she passed out. Eriol quickly caught her and gently placed her on the floor as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and wrapped it around her body. It took much to not shake from the anger that he felt. For someone to treat her in such a way, he did not want to consider what other damage they did to her, ones that he could not see. The woman barely weighed anything in his arms as he lifted her high and held her close, walking out of the building, not wanting to ever see it again. But he did not get far from the building for outside, a dark figure awaited him. A solitary figure but that one person's powers were more than the five he had taken out earlier. Hair of silver, eyes of black, he just stood there and gave Eriol a sinister smile. Eriol did not pay attention to it. The ice in his veins had melted, becoming liquid fire once more. Everything in him knew that the person before him had done all of this.

"_Fulmenos, venite_"

Without even blinking or moving to put Tomoyo down, Eriol called lightening from the sky, striking his adversary where he stood. Except he was no longer there, he had somehow managed to move himself a meter to the left, but he was bleeding, the lightning managing to strike his shoulder. Certainly the fool must know that there was no defeating Eriol. The man had managed to make him bleed without putting down the woman he carried, without moving a muscle in his body. Whoever he was, Eriol underestimated him for the man was a bigger fool than Eriol believed as the silver haired man stepped forward coming at him and Tomoyo, casting what Eriol was sure was an elemental spell. Surely enough, the ground that Eriol stood on started to shake and hills emerged from the ground, turning into mountains. Eriol took to the sky, landing swiftly on one of the newly formed peaks and looked down at the man who fought him.

"I will have your name so I know as to whose blood it is I will shed."

The man looked up at him and laughed humorlessly.

"I am called Duncan and I tell you only so you know who relieves you from your existence in this world."

Eriol's reply to that was countering Duncan's spell, crumbling the mountains, and causing a massive land slide below, burying the man in his own creation, while Eriol found solid ground. He had no time to finish this, Tomoyo was still in his arms and he did not want to risk her any more than he already had. He reached for the Earth, asking for its aide and power. It shook in response, a mightier tremor than the one Duncan had summoned. A massive crater ran across the land, swallowing up the mass of rubble and soil that had moments before been tall hills, swallowing as well, the man buried underneath.

Eriol closed his eyes, he was beginning to feel the strain, but he would finish this much.

"_Arceo._"

The Earth shook once more, closing up the wide chasm, taking away any evidence of the extraordinary confrontation. It was when Eriol finally took a look around him did he realize that the building was no longer there. It had vanished, swallowed up by his spell, taking the lives of five men. The guilt rushed through his body like poison for he never once considered himself judge, jury and executioner for humanity, with his powers he only wished to protect it. Why was it that he always failed in what he vowed to do?

'Even if some people are beyond saving?'

The voice came from within him. The unerring voice of wisdom, always with him.

'Look harder Eriol, it was not with your hands that these lives were lost. The formation of the mountains tore the building apart, it would have been impossible to save them by then.' And yet even with Clow's practical reasoning, Eriol still felt the pain of having been part of the cause of death. All he could do now was to reassemble everything around here as it was before the place was trespassed upon. Placing Tomoyo down as gently as he could, he summoned the key and restored the building and the surrounding property. No one would be able to tell that anything occurred here.

No one but him and the other.

He returned to Tomoyo's side, picking her up as if she were the most fragile treasure he had ever come across, holding her closely, yet afraid that she would break. He had her now, but did he get to her in time? But questions now would do him no good, he was exhausted, his heart felt ill at ease, still burdened with a guilt he knew he did not need to feel and the most important person to him lay in his arms like a broken doll. What was important now was that he get them home, and fast, though all he really wanted to do was to go far away from this world, taking Tomoyo with him, forgetting all that had come to pass tonight. He had failed to protect her, he had failed to prevent death. With a weary sigh, he turned away and headed for home, hoping that calm would find its way in him again and lock away all the demons he had unleashed through the use of his powers.

Clow watched Eriol, knowing that the memories were flooding in. By summoning the Gate to this world of theirs, Eriol had also unlocked all the barriers he had erected in his mind. And because Eriol was undoubtedly connected to his wife through this ordeal, Tomoyo would regain her memories as well soon after, if not already. Everything would unfold here on out, and the path that needs to be followed will be made clear, for the both of them.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Tomoyo awoke, the remnants of her strange dream hazy in her mind, slowly fading away as she turned to find her son still asleep next to her bed. She reached out to gently caress his face, smiling gently. But it did not last long as she became aware of an emptiness within her, her smile disappeared. Tomoyo had always been able to feel Sakura, so close was their bond that she would always know if something had happened. She only believed that she shared that kind of bond with her cousin, but as she sat there in bed, dazed, Tomoyo discovered that she shared the same bond with Eriol. She would never have known, would have never been made aware of such a thing existing except for the fact that she knew. She knew without a doubt, that at that very moment, Eriol was no longer in this world. And with that knowledge, Tomoyo's world turned a very merciless shade of gray.

_**tsuzuku**_

* * *

**Author's Post-chapter Note:**

Pardon the latin. I was at a loss as to how to convey Eriol's powers, and this was the only way how.

_Luminus_ - light

_Fulmenos Venite - _come, lightning

_Arceo - _to enclose, to shut

I think that's pretty much all I used there. Again sorry if I missed a lot of the spelling and grammar, it will be re-edited. I get to go to the graduation ceremony of one of my elementary schools tomorrow! Joy! I will edit after that. The next chapter might take a few weeks because I will be going to Hiroshima for most of this week and won't be able to spend any quality time with my computer. Maybe Matsumoto Palace and Miyajima will inspire me. LOL one can always hope.

The next chapter will be up April 7th, naturally a Saturday. Love my Saturdays! The next chapter should have ExT moments. Well I hope so! Again, my thanks to each of you for your productive criticism, and your wonderful words of encouragement. I know I dragged this story to death, but that fact that you've still kept up with it always leaves me in awe. I am humbled, always .


	15. AUTHOR'S MESSAGE

I have fought with myself, I have wrestled with my mind, I thought I found the answer and then decided to second guess myself. But in the end it comes down to this: I am going to rewrite This Time Around completely, from the very beginning. It was my fault that such a story was dragged on for so many years and consequently, my writing style has changed with the times. I said that I would finish the story and I will finish it. It is simply that I don't want to regret anything when I look back on this later on. I know some of you, aw heck, I wouldn't be surprised if all of you, have some pretty critical things to say to me for my lack of responsibility with my stories. I deserve them and I apologize, if I could post a picture of myself groveling, I would ahahaha! But in all seriousness – I am sorry, I have a long way to go in the writing world. A very loooong way.

But at the same time I am also thankful beyond words for all the words of encouragement that I have received of the years. It is because of that I am not simply going to abandon my story, but rather, try to redress it and make it into something that I can gladly say that I wrote later on in my life.

To my readers, you have my deepest apologies and my deepest thanks.

Yours Truly,

GG


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